Breathless...

This shoot came about as a result of a photo challenge a local critique group, with whom I am a member, did back in November. The topic of our images was to evoke a sense of 'Breathless'.

As a result of the shoot, two frames I liked, are shown here. In the first, I liked the juxtaposition of the model's mouth and the adjacency of the balloon and hand. Unfortunately, my DoF changed as I moved about, causing the fingers focus to go soft. Some folks weren't particularly bothered, yet others were, when it can time to discuss my image results. The second image's focus was much better, the focal plain was better balanced, and everything was sharp that needed to be. Unfortunately, the positioning of the hand to the model's mouth was farther apart, which bothered me. So there you have it. I certainly welcome your thoughts.

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Kevan wrote in post #18293526
This shoot came about as a result of a photo challenge a local critique group, with whom I am a member, did back in November. The topic of our images was to evoke a sense of 'Breathless'.

As a result of the shoot, two frames I liked, are shown here. In the first, I liked the juxtaposition of the model's mouth and the adjacency of the balloon and hand. Unfortunately, my DoF changed as I moved about, causing the fingers focus to go soft. Some folks weren't particularly bothered, yet others were, when it can time to discuss my image results. The second image's focus was much better, the focal plain was better balanced, and everything was sharp that needed to be. Unfortunately, the positioning of the hand to the model's mouth was farther apart, which bothered me. So there you have it. I certainly welcome your thoughts.

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The limited DoF in the first doesn't bother me.
Its the lack of dramatic lighting that does.
This in a good concept that is lacking in execution.
You got the model to have the vacant look in her eyes that evokes death, dramatic lighting would have reinforced the image in my view.

David,

I'm not too sure what you mean by dramatic in this instance. I suppose I could have used an onboard flash, offering the stark reality of a crime reporter type image. Or should I have made the shadows sharper, deeper, more accentuated?

Details please!

Kevan wrote in post #18297426
David,

I'm not too sure what you mean by dramatic in this instance. I suppose I could have used an onboard flash, offering the stark reality of a crime reporter type image. Or should I have made the shadows sharper, deeper, more accentuated?

Details please!

I was thinking about more contrast focused light with gridded spot to simulate light coming into dark room from a window, doorway or whatever. Film noir look.