The best way to decrease weight without decreasing stability means avoiding aluminum... get carbon fiber. That of course raises the price and might blow your intended budget. I would suggest looking at something like a Feisol 3442. Oben fits the budget better, but I have little knowledge of their quality.
In terms of features, you want a tripod that can go to ground level easily (independent, up to 90 degree leg spread). I have never needed or wanted a tripod with a tilting center column, but in the two tripods you listed, that seems to be the only way to get to ground level. The closer you keep the head and camera to the apex of the tripod, the more stable it will be.
I started with a Bogen 3221 (same as the 3021, but in black, and long since discontinued). The center column on it separated into a shorter piece which allowed lower angles. That Bogen was solid without any legs extended, but a bit wobbly with the legs fully extended. I currently have a Gitzo 3530 and I shortened the centerpost to about the same length as the short Bogen column. I think the Gitzo is a medium weight... 4 lbs for the legs and 1.5 lbs for the head. I think going with carbon fiber cut the weight by about 2/3 of the Bogen. The carbon fiber is noticeably sturdier.
Many say ditch the center column, or avoid them altogether. With a high-quality tripod like my Gitzo, I haven't noticed any additional vibration with just an inch or two of column extension, and that extra degree of adjustment is valuable to me. The taller the extension or the cheaper the build quality, the less likely you are to get good results.
Some like the precision of 3-way heads, but for macro I find a ballhead much easier to use. One of the best values in a ballhead is the Sirui K-series, which are around $150. Most of the other ballheads that I've seen and used are over $300 alone.