My best .. music video ( cc please)

I know the video crowd isn't big here.. but here I am ..

this is what I consider to be my best video as of now , in terms of delivering what I saw in my mind.

directed by me with my sons assistance , and edited by me.
i'm not a full time videographer or photographer .. its a part time thing for me ..

link is to the artists youtube page.

CC welcome



not sure if this is in the right section , didnt want to put in the cc section as that pertains to photography ( with this being a photography site)

looks great. very well done!

I’m finding the lyric a little disturbing, and hope that the singer is addressing something in the past, not in their present.

But for your work, the shots are very nice, they seem very intentionally designed, and quite credible.

The performance could be more engaging if the performer spent some time looking at the camera. That’s typical in indie music videos I’ve seen, but quite apart from “I like it” or, “I don’t like it”, what subjects’ eyes are doing is pretty important in how a viewer sees the piece.

Singer never looks at camera = the viewer is an objective observer, like a 3rd person in the scene. The signer is looking at someone off-camera.

Singer looks at camera = the viewer is in the scene. The singer sees them, and is looking at them, singing to them. Like a 2nd person in the scene.

Random thoughts...

Over all I liked it but with some reservations.

Shooting was technically good, better than I could do, and the sound well done based on replay from YT.

I would have made a few minor changes to the intro scenes to give greater connection with the lead character.

While the subject matter is disturbing the lyrics are fundamentally solid. Problem I have is the rap goes on and on with what seems like superfluous fill. Cut the verbiage and slow it down so the core of the lyrics can step forward and sink in to the viewer's attention.

Powerful message and compelling lyrics, almost poetic. I would like to see this rap turned into a full lyrical musical instead of rap.

You need credits - who did what, name of the song, basic stuff.