Temma, nevertheless what folks have told you, 'It depends...upon what you want to accomplish" is entirely true.
- you can buy a Fresnel lens unit to mimic a spotlight
- you can buy a reflector-only unit to mimic hard sunlight
- you can buy an umbrella or softbox to provide a source of 'soft' light
- you can buy a silvered umbrella for a more dramatic light than a white umbrella
- you can buy a snoot to put over a light to narrow the illuminated area to a cone
- you can use a piece of white foamcore to serve as a reflector
- you can use the same piece of foamcore to change a square box to a narrow rectangular source
....the options are endless.
BTW, I have ALL of the above in my lighting arsenal, to accomplish whatever I see in my mind's eye for the end result. I might need something ELSE, if none of the above do the trick...like a cucoloris, or a grid.
A 24" square softbox at 2' distance is the same as 36" square softbox at 3' distance is the same as 48" square softbox at 4' distance...which one to use? 'It depends' on how YOU want the light falloff with distance to appear.
Square vs. rectangular...'It depends' on the area to be illuminated...you can mask a square to be a rectangle, you can mask a rectangle to be a square. Which one you use might not depend at all upon the area to the illuminated, but on the SHAPE of HIGHLIGHTS which are seen in reflective surfaces of the subject.