It's a very cute pose, and idea. The main problem I see is that it's flatly lit. There are no shadows to show 3 dimensionality. One problem a lot of people have is too much light bouncing around when doing hi-key and pastels. The way to get around that is to use a grid spot or a snoot on the key (main) light. This should have had about a 3:1 ratio.
I went an entirely different direction and hope it gives you some ideas.
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D. Craig Flory PPA Certified, Cr.Photog., ASP
loryphotog@mindspring.com