What can I do better?

Duh, guess it'd be helpful to put the photo I was referring to in the post. Here it is:

It'd be even more helpful to put both posts in the same thread.

If you ask the mods nicely, I'm sure they'll merge these threads for you (there seem to be three on this topic now, from what I can see). Also, you may get more feedback in one of the photo sharing areas, or maybe the critique corner.

Thanks,
I'll try that.