Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke

LightRules wrote in post #6502596
We can omit #6 here

At least he didn't include you twice in the list.

Probably need "The History of the Duck Shot" in there.

OK a new list with a little more seriousness.

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars.
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF.
5. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer.
6. The History of the Duck Shot.

eddarr wrote in post #6502761
OK a new list with a little more seriousness.

1. This joke.
2. Instructions on search usage and capabilities.
3. Instructions on how to post pictures and avatars.
4. An explanation of what the TF does and a list of who has already been eliminated as possibly being the TF.
5. $1 string monopod/tripod/image stabilizer.
6. The History of the Duck Shot.

I think someone is being rather serious about this. Even came up with all the links!

LightRules wrote in post #6502596
We can omit #6 here

I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there sorry but you started a trend...


There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

PiRho wrote in post #6505233
I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there sorry but you started a trend...

There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

I would have to agree that LR has to have an honourable mention within the list. Otherwise how would new people know what "doing a lightrules" is?

However i disagree on the tripod thing - no need to cast attention on one of our glorious moderators little errors (insert grovelling smiley here):p

PiRho wrote in post #6505233
I disagree. I think that as you are so much a part of POTN lore that you really need to be in there sorry but you started a trend...


There is something that is missing though... something about a couple of tripods in the desert (i'm gonna try not to name names *cough* *mumble mumble* *cough* )

One should never go tap dancing in a mine field.:p

belmondo wrote in post #6506492
One should never go tap dancing in a mine field.:p

ooohhhh a minefield (what were we just saying about saving someone or captiring the event...) everyone better get their cameras ready... cause I know you'll wanna capture this





Wait a sec... I can't Dance!

(I tried once... failed miserably... no need to try it again. )

heh, check out the jokes thread - this one's made quite a few appearances

WOOOHOOOOO! Karen welcome to infamy! looks like you didn't get banned yet

CANON JOKE

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to..'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs Smith fainted

Already has a thread devoted to it - https://photography-on-the.net ….php?p=142383&p​ostcount=1

Still funny though

haha, very funny

Good Canon Joke

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The moth er was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

B Blest,
Yiskah

Stand by to be zapped into oblivion!