Zillion posts of the baby photographer joke, tripod joke, Canon joke

Ah, we needed a thread like this.

Me: how long will it take to repair this 3 week old 20D?

Canon repair center person: between 10 to 15 days, there's a backlog at the moment.

(can't do nuthin but laugh.... wasn't nearly as funny at the time!)

canon too big to hold - a joke

this was fwd to me from a friend:

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said,
- I'm off. The man should be here soon.

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
- Good morning madam. I've come to ......"
- Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, Mrs. Smith cut in.
- Really? The photographer asked.
- Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.
- That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing,
- Well, where do we start?
- Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too .... You can really spread out!
- Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me.
- Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.
- My, my, that's a lot of ...gasped Mrs. Smith,
- Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.
- Don't I know it, Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
- This was done on the top of a bus.
- Oh my God!! Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
- And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.
- She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith,
- Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get then job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.
- Four and five deep? Asked Mrs. Smith,
- Yes widened in amazement. Yes, the photographer said.
- And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.

Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
- You mean they actually chewed on your ... um ... equipment?
- That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.
- Tripod??
- Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam....Good Lord, she's fainted!!

Amazing. This is the 5th time this was posted.

https://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=90698
https://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=69149
https://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=64734
https://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=26235

https://photography-on-the.net/forum/showthre​ad.php?t=24548

There's another one.

hahaha, I hadn't come across it before.. it's gold

And probably almost as many times over at Fred Miranda.

A joke to lighten your day

Hi All, hope the mods dont mind me posting a joke. Just got it and thought it was so appropriate for this canon forum.

The Baby Photographer....

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and
said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. I've come to......"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two shots in the bathtub, one on
the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room
floor is fun too.... you can really spread out there!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me!"

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results." "

My, my, that's a lot of...of.....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd probably be very disappointed with
that, I'm sure."

"Oh, don't I just know it!" Mrs. Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures, "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith faintly.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Oh Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling; I could hardly
concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed
it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on
your...um...equipment?​"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so
that we can get to work"

"Tripod???!!"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
for me to hold up for very long.......Madam? Madam?... Good Lord, she's
fainted....!"

Don't let CDS find this one.

Cracks me up everytime.

There is a "Favorite joke" thread. Here's another:

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,
"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".

PhotosGuy: Maybe I'm suffering from lack of sleep, but I don't get your joke :embarassed:

well I liked it...

"....some day your prince will come..."

We get so used to people misspelling that sometimes we just overlook the "obvious".

I dug it PhotosGuy.

Yours too, Clint.

I didn't entirly get it either, theres something about "film" getting "developed"????? Whats that all about?