Flash at night too harsh

Hi, i have a problem and dont know how to change my settings, here is the description:

Manual mode, Shutter set at 1/80, F4.5 Eos 350D with Kit lens and 430 flash.
used center focal point as that covered the subject

back ground is a large nicely lit ship far away
subject is standing 3 meters away from me in front of boat.

result:
Boat is lit "ok" but subject is totally blown out, how can i adjust my flash to fire less powerfull so that teh person is more natural lit and not washed out?

Ive read somewhere on here that shutter drag might work. What happens is set your shutter to 1second or so and lower your flash output. What should happen is the flash will fire while your shutter is still open, thus letting in more light to lighten up the background, and still allowing the flash to illuminate your subject. I really hope I explained it right. I havent done this yet, but Ill start now:p

Generally the way to adjust flash output is with Flash Exposure Compensation (FEC). But we won't know why your subject is overexposed to begin with, unless you post a sample shot and provide EXIF info.

Was the flash set for manual as well as the camera? If so, you will have to manually calculate the flash exposure. Otherwise, if the flash is set to ETTL, it should have exposed the subject properly. The exception is if there was too much ambient light on the subject and it was being overexposed by a light other than the flash.

Pull out the little diffuser on the end of the flash. It will help widen the path fo light and soften the blow.


Then make certain that your camera is set to ETTL and FEC is to 0. See if this helps.

I hope that I do not make this sound too confusing, and yes, it would be helpful to know your EXIF. When shooting at night, with a lit subject in the background, cameras and meters can be easily fooled. My approach would have been to spot meter the boat, underexpose this about 1/2 to 1 stop. Set the flash on straight manual, set the lens on the appropriate f stop for 3 meters and set the shutter for that 1/2 to 1 stop under. When using flash as the subjects' main light, the aperture exposes the subject, and the shutter exposes the background. My guess is, ISO 200, f13, 1/30 to 1/125 sec. Harsh flash will not be very flattering, but if you use diffusion on your flash, you need a light meter.

Just my two cents....

First and foremost listen to Curtis N !

Now for my humble opinion.....difussion is a great suggestion, but one thing I noticed in your post was you used F4.5, I would stop down to F8, that should help alot with the overexposure and also get you into the "sweeter spot" of the kit lens so you will have a much sharper pic. As far as dragging the shutter that is something that will get the background exposed as well as the subject but that doesn't seem to be your problem or something you asked about.

dear all i am sorry i was away for few days so no chance to reply.

i am sorry i dont have the pic on hand anymore, but do value all your advice and made notes for a next time to try out some of your suggestion.

Thanks,

Marco