Please read

My son just got home from school. He is a sophomore in hs. He came in with the very sad news that a student had committed suicide last night.

This kid played in the basketball league I coached in and ran for 3 years. A few weeks back I was at the county wrestling tourney, I saw this kid from our school and he looked familiar. When they announced the "up next on mat" names, I recognized his name and thought for sure it was him. After he won his match I went over and spoke with him. He said he knew me too but couldn't figure out from where. We had a nice short visit and he told me his dad was there. Eventually I made my way up to where his dad was and we talked about what a fine young man this guy had grown to be.
A 4.4 GPA, full ride to Drexler college, everything in the world going for him.

As of now, nobody knows why. He didn't make it to the state finals which begin tonight and I am getting ready to go cover. His girlfriend broke up with him in the last few days. Maybe a combination of both who knows.

So do me a favor, if you have a teenager, or know kids from coaching them, tell them that you are always available to listen and help if they have a problem. Things can seem so bad when you are that age at times and I can't ehlp but think if kids can get someone to listen and have a shoulder to cry on, maybe, just maybe a life can be saved.
Please, please, please if you coach kids, take time to talk with them. Let them know you care. I will never ask you for anything again if you do this for me.

As you may guess, this has me terribly upset and tonight I will see his wrestling coaches, and a couple of his teammates that made it to state finals.

Yes, Depression is a big problem I have suffered with it for years and I am only 18. People dont understand how hard it is for teenagers, times have changed alot and there are many new pressures. So I think what IndyJeff said is very true...

Having raised 3 kids through the teenage years, I know how hard normal life events can hit them. It's important to make sure they know they can come to talk to you about their lives without fear that you're going to think less of them.

Mark

Very sad ...
Suicide is always hard to accept, even when the individual who chooses it does so with "no surprise" to those around them.. no surprise, but still a horrific shock.

In high school, I went to a school that included a large percentage of individuals with troubled backgrounds. Suicide was no stranger to any of us. Fortunately the environment there was very well adapted to such behavior, I think they may have saved far more teens than anyone would give them credit for. It's amazing what influence a teacher or councilor can have.

this is indeed sad. I had a friend that did the same when he was 19. It's hard to say friend as we really didn't talk after entering high school as he was one year older. But we grew up together up to that point.

But there are 2 things that I hate to see young people go throw, bullies and this.

it's sad when people of any age seem think that suicide is the only way to go, there are more options out there than ever before, just make sure that if you have time for teenagers that you also have time for adults. it seems that there are plenty of them doing the same thing.

My son asks me how I can always tell when he has something on his mind,even if it is not serious. I tell him that being his father is the most improtant thing in my life. He always "opens up" and we talk. he know I will always liste and I hope it continues.

"Listening is much more than just waiting for your turn to talk"

Since I am also a sophomore, this hits home. My sister tried to OD when I was nine. I didn't understand then, but I found out later what really happened. She was throwing up black stuff for days and everyone was really upset. We thought she was going to die.

She's a lot better now. My mom and her always had a rocky relationship. She was the rebelious one and my mom is the good christian mother. The butted heads a lot. They never really talked about anything, but my mom makes my other sisters and me talk to her. It helps a lot talking to my mom. Even friends at school help. Just someone I can vent to.

Usually I just read these threads, but I feel compelled to comment.

I spend countless hours with my kids at sporting events, dance competions, etc... my camera is always with me, and serves as an "ice breaker" in many situations. Through the years, as my gear has grown, many parents and kids have become friends because I am the Dad that takes all the pictures.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: Be there when a kid wants to talk, listen to them, be there even if they don't want to talk. Let them know that you care, if possible get to know their parents.

Sure, sometimes you are going to miss "The Shot", trust me it's worth it...

When I was in HS a girl commited suicide 3 weeks before graduation. I used to do all my labs with her during 7-9th grade & I could tell she was the quiet, shy type. Then as a freshman she changed, she became more outgoing, got more friends & I was happy for her. Nobody found out why she decided to get hit by that train.

When I was teaching 2 years ago I was informed by a teacher that one boy was very bullied at school & to keep an eye on him. I did & we used to speak in the corridor a lot etc. He loved to draw manga, so I did that with him.
In April 2004 I took a week off to go for my friend's wedding. When the taxi drove past the school the flag was down & I wondered what had happened. When I returned I heard he had hung himself in the parents' living room. I was devastated & couldn't believe it.
The school got a lot of bad publicity, the dad went to every media outlet & blamed the school. I heard lots off things from both sides & have my own opinions, but that doesn't matter. A 14y/o boy died.

At the same schootmy friend & I got very engaged in a young girl. She had anorexia, cut helself, dated older men, made up stories & finally ended up prostituting herself. My friend & I were there for her 24hrs/7, listened, lectured, argued, helped, got in touch with professionals etc etc.

The best reward was her telling us she feels much better nowadays & says she wouldn't have without us. Her mom never met me, but grabbed the phone from her once & told me she was thankful her daughter had found someone who obviously cared about her a lot.

I believe that as parents, as well as outsiders, we have to be there for both young & old. When it comes to kids & teens it's not always easy to speak to your parents, therefore we all have to make an effort to make sure they know you are there as well.

IndyJeff wrote in post #2720045
My son just got home from school. He is a sophomore in hs. He came in with the very sad news that a student had committed suicide last night.

This kid played in the basketball league I coached in and ran for 3 years. A few weeks back I was at the county wrestling tourney, I saw this kid from our school and he looked familiar. When they announced the "up next on mat" names, I recognized his name and thought for sure it was him. After he won his match I went over and spoke with him. He said he knew me too but couldn't figure out from where. We had a nice short visit and he told me his dad was there. Eventually I made my way up to where his dad was and we talked about what a fine young man this guy had grown to be.
A 4.4 GPA, full ride to Drexler college, everything in the world going for him.

As of now, nobody knows why. He didn't make it to the state finals which begin tonight and I am getting ready to go cover. His girlfriend broke up with him in the last few days. Maybe a combination of both who knows.

So do me a favor, if you have a teenager, or know kids from coaching them, tell them that you are always available to listen and help if they have a problem. Things can seem so bad when you are that age at times and I can't ehlp but think if kids can get someone to listen and have a shoulder to cry on, maybe, just maybe a life can be saved.
Please, please, please if you coach kids, take time to talk with them. Let them know you care. I will never ask you for anything again if you do this for me.

As you may guess, this has me terribly upset and tonight I will see his wrestling coaches, and a couple of his teammates that made it to state finals.

I took his senior yearbook photos, and our company is sending the family a bereavement package. I found out today when one of my studio employees (also a student at this school) told me. I quickly looked him up and called the territory manager.

It is a shame that this sort of thing happens, we pass out 25-30 bereavement packages per year, far too many, hell, one is just too many.

It sounds messed up but one of the reasons I care so much about what I do is because of just this. Many times I was the last person to take a students photo, and the family is ever grateful for a good picture to remember their loved ones.

this is why most colleges and universities in canada have reading breaks in february. They found that february is the month where alot of students commit suicide...

Faithless wrote in post #2730744
this is why most colleges and universities in canada have reading breaks in february. They found that february is the month where alot of students commit suicide...

Did they find out why February? I'd be very interested to know.

Claire wrote in post #2730848
Did they find out why February? I'd be very interested to know.

I think they gave a specific date in february aswell...

[W + (D-d)] x TQ M x NA where W = weather, D = debt, d = money due in January pay, T = time elapsed since Christmas, Q = time since failed New Year's resolutions to quit smoking, drinking etc, M = general motivational levels, NA = the need to take action.

and midterms.

We recently receive the sad news at our school that one of last year's graduates hanged himself in his dorm room after his girlfriend broke up with him.

I'm a high school teacher and am around these kids all the time. My door is always open, and I have lots of kids come to me just to get things off their chest. Teenagers seem to perceive things differently from adults and take things much more seriously. Adults need to listen to them carefully. While we may not find particular issues to be important, they do.