Why not to do a family wedding!!!

Wow!!!! So here I go...My husband has a very large family back in Florida (we live in Hawaii). He is very close with his whole family. His cousin (bride) was getting married. We planned on attending. I was then told by another family member that the groom's uncle was a pro & offered to do the ceremony for free as a gift. I was leary since I have never heard of this "pro" & he's from my hometown. Then I saw the engagement pix he took for them. BAD! BAD! BAD! He cut their heads off!!!!! & the pix were super under exposed. The bride was freaking out & was afraid to hurt her fiance's family's feelings to give him the boot. She then asked if I could shoot also. I said sure, just talk to the uncle. I asked that him & I could meet before the ceremony. That never happend. The uncle "pro" showed up with a little dsl, no flash, no zoom lens,nothing!!! The uncle was literally 6 inches from the groom on the alter, sticking his no zoom lens in between the minister & the groom to take shots of the bride. Every time I moved to get him out of my shot, he would jump in front of me again!!! When the kiss came...I thought finally I can get a good shot in from the end of the isle. The uncle was sitting in the isle set of the first row. Just as they lean in to kiss, Uncle "Pro" jumps up & stands on the alter again & blocks everyone's view!!!! He was so intrusive during the first dance the DJ grabbed him & told him to stop. It was just aweful! Then as the reception starts he says "WOW, you really know what your doing. I should just follow you around all night & get the same shots." I looked at him with fire in my eyes & said "I thought that's what you were doing!" I felt like I couldn't say anything to him during the ceremony since it was the groom's family member...

I've found that you get less respect at friends and families weddings, so i'm pretty wary of doing them. Sounds like you learned a lesson here - be "the pro" or don't bother. My contract says I have the right to restrict access of other photographers or videographers, pro or amateur, if they're intrusive, i've only done it a couple of time and I was polite about it, but I suggest adding a similar clause to your contract. I make friends and family sign a contract even if it's free.

I do have that clause in my contract...just didn't have the family member sign it. & yes I did learn a lesson!!! I will definately have even family sign in the furture!

I have what Tim does (roughly - same idea) in my contracts, and I remind them on the wedding day that they have written me the check, not the other person. Hasn't ever been an issue.

I either go to a wedding as a guest or a photographer. Never as a guest-photographer

Since i have given up weddings, i still get asked to photograph my friends and families weddings, but to me i do it for fun. I know these people, i can tell them what to do (in a fun way LOL) and they listen because they know that i know what i am doing.
I get a lot more respect now than what i did when i was starting out, but for me family and friends weddings is a sinch.

This one sounds really bad LOL I feel sorry for you! At least you learnt some things out of this!!!

Del

I have found that when shoting a family members wedding you get a lot less
co-operation than you do with strangers wedding but I still shoot them.

Shot for my brother's kid, got respect and they loved the pics. Shot for my sister's kid, will never shoot for her again. She hated everything and complained to my mom! Photographing for family gets you no respect at all. Working for others is much more businesslike and straightforward.

Great reading and i agree 100% about the family and friends thing