Child Photography-have you ever walked out?

Have you ever had a parent being so mean to a child that you had to walk out on the sitting? It happened to me twice, one when she started swearing and actually yelling at the kid (3 or 4 year old girl) because she wouldn't smile for her birthday invitation pic and once when the mom kept hitting the 3 month old over the head and hands with a rolled up piece of paper cuz the infant kept shoving her fingers in her mouth.

I've had other less obvious cases of what I felt was borderline abuse, but I kicked the mother out of the room instead of walking out as I did with the previous two incidents. This was a senior portrait and the mom almost had the girl in tears with her "Stop smiling that stupid smile" and "I told you that hairstyle looked sloppy..." type comments. Another time the mom was saying to the adorable 4 yr old who wasn't being bad, just wasn't smiling for her Christmas photo "If you don't smile, Santa won't bring you any presents...." You want to see a 4 yr old deflate in front of your eyes? Just tell them that.

So has anybody else had any of that type of thing happen in your sittings and how did you deal with it?

sue cassidy

I don't do portraits in the studio, usually I drive to the home and shoot indoors or out. The child is usually more at ease. It's so hard to judge people, though. Seems like some parents know what they want, but the kid doesn't know what's going on or can't perform. Maybe there should be a "Mommy not in the room" clause when that happens. Sorry for your sad situations. I've never had this issue. I did have a wedding shoot where the groom was so immature, his Dad had to give him a talking to. He stopped having terrible smiles after that. I've never had trouble other than that.

OMG...........I feel for those kids. That sucks.

Pressure on parents is huge, and it's so easy for them to transfer that pressure to the children. I think (as a father of two) that you have to just relax and go with the flow.

If I were to hire a pro to shoot my children, I think I'd say to the pro that I would be in the room, but that I would let her/him run the show, and I'd only step in if absolutely necessary.

From shooting my own kids, I know it's hard to get the great shots, but patience, regular breaks, distraction, and the cheapness of the digital medium all help. A pushy parent does not.

How I would handle the situations described in the OP, I honestly don't know. Perhaps I would mention that to PP out the tears & bruises would add 30%! Perhaps I would slap on my widest lens, ask the parent to stand back, and get between them and the subject. I don't know.

Sue, how did you handle it?

I would tell the parent if he/she touches that child or says anything verbally abusive to that child one more time, I'd call Child Protective Services on them right after calling the Police and filing a criminal complaint upon the child's behalf.

There's no call for that crap no matter what the circumstances.

Well if the kids behaved themselves in a reasonable manner there would be no need to discipline them.

cdifoto wrote in post #3532955
I would tell the parent if he/she touches that child or says anything verbally abusive to that child one more time, I'd call Child Protective Services on them right after calling the Police and filing a criminal complaint upon the child's behalf.

There's no call for that crap no matter what the circumstances.

A little over the top dont you think?

Its that type of knee jerk Politically Correct attitude that is making the modern world what it is today.
I Cant stand "modern parent" attitudes

I was always known for being able to wrangle the difficult kids, and typically manage to get the job done. (My reward for that? I got all the "difficult kids.") Kids are kids and they will do what they do, and I am really good at dealing with that and figuring out what works with difficult personalities. It has been a rare time over many years that I encountered a "bad" child, just bad parents. These two situations where I walked out had nothing to do with the kids, it was the parents that were clearly out of control. With young children I always felt that under NO circumstances could I ask the parent to leave them alone with me, that wouldn't be appropriate, so I had to be the one to end the session. With teenagers that is different. I've never had a parent insist on staying after I"ve given them the "most teenagers are self conscious, it might be better if you wait out here" talk.

Just curious if others have faced these types of situations. sue

david lee wrote in post #3533578
A little over the top dont you think?

Its that type of knee jerk Politically Correct attitude that is making the modern world what it is today.
I Cant stand "modern parent" attitudes

Swearing, yelling, and hitting a young kid isn't necessary. It's abusive. Period. I'm not into the new-wave don't-punish-your-kids-ever parenting either, but getting physically and verbally violent as I'm picturing based on the OP's description (bad enough to walk out of a shoot) is illegal and violates the kids' rights as a human being. Think about why the parent is being as they are. The kid isn't throwing a tantrum in a supermarket or biting a sibling or fighting. The kid just doesn't wanna smile. BIG DEAL. Let the kid take a break and get them when they're feeling more cooperative. Kids are kids!

cdifoto wrote in post #3533607
Swearing, yelling, and hitting a young kid isn't necessary. It's abusive. Period. I'm not into the new-wave don't-punish-your-kids-ever parenting either, but getting physically and verbally violent as I'm picturing based on the OP's description (bad enough to walk out of a shoot) is illegal and violates the kids' rights as a human being. Think about why the parent is being as they are. The kid isn't throwing a tantrum in a supermarket or biting a sibling or fighting. The kid just doesn't wanna smile. BIG DEAL. Let the kid take a break and get them when they're feeling more cooperative. Kids are kids!

Agreed.

SuzyView wrote in post #3532475
. I did have a wedding shoot where the groom was so immature, his Dad had to give him a talking to. He stopped having terrible smiles after that. I've never had trouble other than that.

Pity the bride!

"Sir (or Madam), perhaps if I could have you relax in the other room while I spend some time with (Billy/Suzy)..." and THEN walk out if they do not cooperate!

cdifoto is right. To hit a 3 month old child for putting their hand in their mouth is abusive and that parent deserves to get reported.

Many years ago I worked as a Santa Claus photographer (only job I could get during a layoff from my aerospace job) and that ruined me on ever doing kid photography again. The parents were horrible! We actually had one of our Santas walk out in the middle of a session and never return due to the stress...

I shot the son of a good friend a couple years ago, but that was a whole different situation as the boy was relaxed because he knew me well and mom didn't interfere.

Perhaps take the rolled up paper from the parent and place it out of sight, within the parent.

Sounds like these kids were Matilda Wormwoods. The parents don't deserve them.