Red-Ringed Tupperware Party with (ineffective) Tin Foil Hats (3)

timbernet wrote in post #4073988
I hope there is a section warning about TMS'ing and lack of coffee around the house

Naw. Some things need to be kept a mystery. I don't want to take all the fun out of it.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #4073975
For the last six months or so, I've been writing a small missive for my future SIL. It's a little humorous thing that guides a bachelor through the wedding ceremony and the first year of marriage. Not very long, but it was fun. I've got a bunch of little editing work to do before it's really done, but the major writing is finished.

Ha that is awesome. I would love to see a snippet some time.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #4073975
For the last six months or so, I've been writing a small missive for my future SIL. It's a little humorous thing that guides a bachelor through the wedding ceremony and the first year of marriage. Not very long, but it was fun. I've got a bunch of little editing work to do before it's really done, but the major writing is finished.

Congrats! Sounds like it will be a humorous read.

Okay, one last shot from me for tonight, then I am off to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. This flock of Pelicans were over head but I only had my short lens on so it is what it is. I still like it.

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timbernet wrote in post #4073995
Yeah - not going in there

I was hoping the smack could be laid down on the carp, but in the absence of that, your strategy may be the most useful.

EF is starting to piss me off as much as WF used to do (note keyword USED).

Maureen Souza wrote in post #4074001
Congrats! Sounds like it will be a humorous read.

Okay, one last shot from me for tonight, then I am off to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. This flock of Pelicans were over head but I only had my short lens on so it is what it is. I still like it.

That's a nice shot!

aussieskier wrote in post #4074000
Ha that is awesome. I would love to see a snippet some time.

Here:

Sometimes, important information is passed through the means of the telephone. Take for example, the birth of a child. Say some relation or friend is having a child. The mom-to-be is rushed to the hospital’s maternity ward whereupon she begins that whole mysterious process of whelping the next generation. Several hours later, a phone call comes, usually around two in the morning, because kids are rude and have no respect for those that have to work in the morning so they come into the world whenever it pleases them.

A phone rings in the house. The guy, his sleep interrupted, answers the offending device. “Unnngh?” he asks.

“We had a baby!” an exultant voice cries out.

“OK.” and the guy hangs up the phone.

All the information has been passed on, so he thinks. They were wondering when the child would be born. That has now been answered. The exultant voice indicated that all is well. That has been answered. There was no need for identification, unless there was more than one couple having babies that night. So, when the guy hears, “We had a baby!”, there’s nothing else that needs to be said.

Wrong.

The wife, upon hearing the phone ring, and the ersatz conversation, will immediately ask, “Was that So and So? Did they have the baby?”

The guy, trying to get back to sleep, will answer, “Yup.”

“What did they have?”

“ A baby.” He rolls over.

“What kind of baby?” she asks.

“Human.” He’s thinking, dumb question.

She’s thinking, dumb husband. “Boy or Girl?”

“Yup. Hope so. One or the other, to be sure.”

“Which one?” She’s getting irritated now.

“I don’t know. He didn’t say.”

It’s at this point that the guy will come to the conclusion that his earlier decision that the phrase, “We had a baby!” was enough information. The new conclusion will be in the form of a red flag.

The wife will be fully awake now, and she will want to know what kind of baby it is. How is the baby? How is the Momma? What was its weight? Its length? Color of eyes? Color of hair? How much hair? Who does it look like? Who was in the birthing room? How long was labor? How hard was labor? What drugs were used? How was the doctor? How was the hospital staff? How long will the new family be in the hospital? Did they take pictures? Did you hear the baby over the phone? Can we come over there right now?

To each of these questions, the humiliated husband will have to answer, “I dunno.” Because, no matter how often he has to repeat the entire conversation, the wife will not understand that the only thing he knows is that someone recently had a baby.

Usually, the guy will make this mistake only five or six times before he starts to ask the really important questions, like the ones above. For extra points, he will gather other esoteric data that the wife might not ask. Brownie points for the baby’s blood type, location of the soft spot on the baby’s head, who cut the umbilical cord and the condition of the placenta.

Immediate Husband Hall of Fame entry if the guy can talk directly to the OB/GYN who did the delivery to get his take on the birth.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #4074018
Here:

Wow, that is amazingly awesome and Oh so true!

aussieskier wrote in post #4074027
Wow, that is amazingly awesome and Oh so true!

Like you would know?!

T.D. wrote in post #4074045
Like you would know?!

I know how the questioning goes trust me.

aussieskier wrote in post #4074053
I know how the questioning goes trust me.

LOL. You're old before your time, Riley!

Goodnight everyone.

Note to Puddle....shorts may not be appropriate for tomorrow. Gonna be a cold one! But somehow, I'm guessing he'll be in shorts.

Maureen Souza wrote in post #4074001
Okay, one last shot from me for tonight, then I am off to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. This flock of Pelicans were over head but I only had my short lens on so it is what it is. I still like it.

Lovely shot Maureen

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #4074018
Here:

Sometimes, important ......

lol, so true

T.D. wrote in post #4074061
LOL. You're old before your time, Riley!

Goodnight everyone.

Note to Puddle....shorts may not be appropriate for tomorrow. Gonna be a cold one! But somehow, I'm guessing he'll be in shorts.

Yeah, he probably will be.

*off to find where he put the pants last March....*

T.D. wrote in post #4074061
LOL. You're old before your time, Riley!

Goodnight everyone.

Note to Puddle....shorts may not be appropriate for tomorrow. Gonna be a cold one! But somehow, I'm guessing he'll be in shorts.

Have fun guys, I wish I could join you . I better learn something useful from the training... But probably not .

Oh and that questioning doesn't come from Bailey, it is usually from my mum. She is way details oriented, she talks with my grandma in Australia and like will talk about the sandwich she had for lunch and the flavor of each piece of meat

My favorite answer "Don't know, don't care."

Another one.. "Your emergency is not my priority."

Work's got a lot of good lines.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #4074018
Here:
Sometimes, important information is passed through the means of the telephone.

- I love it!

Lightstream wrote in post #4074004
I was hoping the smack could be laid down on the carp, but in the absence of that, your strategy may be the most useful.

EF is starting to piss me off as much as WF used to do (note keyword USED).

Again, I don't go into the WF anymore I've been trying to spend more time in the photo sharing section.