Got the 40D, fiancee not happy

DC9 wrote in post #4195630
Breathless,

Well congratulations on your success. Now check back with us in 10 or 15 years when you have two or more kids and the luster has worn off the relationship.

Oh yeah...that's right. Kids.

You can try convincing your wife that your 11 year old needs a DSLR (by God...that one worked). Since she fell for that one she isn't falling for *his* need for more glass.

However, in my case I was shocked when the wife said..."why the hell didn't you take up this hobby when the kid was cute????"

Dang...too dumb to think of that when he was cute.

It's called setting up a "toy" slush fund. Have $50 a month directly deposited from your pay check into a separate "fun money" account. Just refrain from eating out a couple times each month What she doesn't know, she can't stress out about!

DC9 wrote in post #4195630
Breathless,

Well congratulations on your success. Now check back with us in 10 or 15 years when you have two or more kids and the luster has worn off the relationship.

Geez. Bitter, are we?

I've been married for 38 years and agree with Breathless. Not everyone has a bad marriage, you know...

-js

number six wrote in post #4196785
Geez. Bitter, are we?

I've been married for 38 years and agree with Breathless. Not everyone has a bad marriage, you know...

-js

Too right! I know we've moved off the camera talk a bit, but I've found it interesting to hear how others behave! Like you number six, I want to put in a shout for those of us who don't feel the need to argue about money or try to 'sneak in' cameras or lenses. That's no way to carry on. Communication is key to any relationship.

As if to back me up, she just brought me a can, already opened!

I'd dump her for a camera-friendly wife. If you are foolish enough to get married demand a prenup.

number six wrote in post #4196785
Geez. Bitter, are we?

I've been married for 38 years and agree with Breathless. Not everyone has a bad marriage, you know...

-js

+1

Been together for over 8 yrs.

I dunno...should I tell my wife the marriage is over in 7yrs?

There does seem to be a common theme on this thread:
Most photographers would rather sleep with a camera than a spouse.

You could teach her how to use it - then you might need to get her one too!

Jackie Merritt wrote in post #4248742
You could teach her how to use it - then you might need to get her one too!

well i could let her use the xt. i did get insurance for a week ago

Finacee came over took a couple of glances over towards the camera and didn't say anything for about 30 minutes till she asked what i did for the day. When i said i went into NYC she immediately knew why there were 2 cameras. Boy was she not happy, wouldn't talk to me the rest of hte night. So know i gotta be a good boy and try and make things good again.

That'll just get you movin' the direction she wants
You are setting a precedent that will follow you two for as long as you are together.
I bet you had a couple red flags previous months about things to...but love is blind
Run don't walk away from that.

Now if you have no steady good job and she is supporting you thats different you shouldn't have bought it.
You have one camera already.
But if not the case well..

one of my buddy told his wife that he won the 40D from an online contest. his wife totally believed him. heheh!

Canon and Canines...ultimately fulfilling! LOL. Art and that includes photography by it's nature is a pretty self-absorbed endeavor. I was married to an artist and I know what it's like to be on the other side of that. In the last 5 -6 years my camera and photography have pretty much consumed my life to the point that I rarely think about an intimate relationship and really appreciate being alone with all my lovely stuff! If I was in a relationship, I don't think I would have made the strides I have with my photography. Ironically my biggest supporter is my ex!

breathless_moments wrote in post #4191050
sorry have to vent... but I just have to say that some views of relationship in this forum is really sad. there doesn't seem to be any unity or selflessness...

My husband (of 7 months) and I sat down before we got married and discussed how money was to be handled while we were married. We have a joint checking account that he mainly manages and we each have a set amount of money to spend on our selves. so far it's worked out great and we havent' gotten into any fights about money.

Ive wanted a DSLR for many many years and had to wait a long time- my husband knew that and I just had to be patient - eventually i got my rebel xti! and I am so thankful and thrilled! it meant a lot more to have to wait and to know that he was supportive and that he actually gave me my camera.

yeah we've only been married for 7 months - but I believe we have set the tone for a great future financially (among other ways as well) I just can't belive that people would actually choose having their own money (being single) over commiting yourself to someone.- just for not having to share money.

There is a book called 'Financial Peace" my husband recently read it and the author has a financial peace university class- we are looking into taking this class - it is suppose to be really helpful in managing expenses for singles and couples. we have several friends who have taken it and recommend it (they do classes around the nation)

ya know- i probably could go out and buy a 70-200 lens that I wanted tonight or something else really expensive, but I know how much it would disappoint my husband and that he would never buy anything that expensive without talking it over with me first... and how upset he would be with me is just not worth it. (and that does not mean he's not supportive of my hobby)

being patient pays off. and photography will never be as important as my husband and family and if photography EVER got in the way of our relationship, I would drop it in a heartbeat to keep our relationship strong. even though it would be very hard - it would be worth it. that is just how important my relationship with him is.
On my wedding day I made a commitment to my husband to be supportive of him ... not to money or photography or myself... and that doesn't mean to just give up on a relationship (whether engaged or married) just because they are not 100% supportive of buying a several thousand dollar camera.

sacrifise is a strong word but is what keeps marriages strong. selfishness is what tears them apart.

sorry a lot of the comments on this forum just really offended my view of marriage and family and I had to express myself and I hope there are more people who agree with me.

Well don't get offended.
7 months experience thats fine.
I hear you there.
Lets see here with me......4 daughters and a son now
Most of them grown up now
So I may have less patience
And IF I really need it and theres the appropriate value possible in the purchase(IMO).
I save for it.
I will likely get the item.
But as my wife laughs....you save for the darn thing and sometimes don't want to buy when you are done saving.
the required value isn't there to you.

Show her the receipt for what her ring cost!
I took her window shopping for rings so she knew how much the one I got her was

I dumped a lot of $$$ for her rings... It really was the only thing she really wanted ever since I've known her and she is well worth it so needless to say, she got it.

She wasn't understanding the "need to upgrade" but got interested in photography herself back when we met in 2001. She started to like it more and more and wanted to be my second shooter for my wedding jobs when I started my company in 2006. So I always made sure to give her the "old stuff" and when she got aggravated because she couldn't Auto focus easily during the couples dances at the reception or that her photos came out blurry from slow lenses and so on that she realized first hand how better equipment makes your success rate that much better!!!

Ever since then, dropping the cash towards photography equipment isn't a hassle at all. Plus when I bring home the bacon for photo jobs doesn't hurt either....

In her defense, you guys are saving up for a wedding and she is probably handling a lot of that stuff and all she sees is the wedding cost going up and more up... The 40D was probably the cake payment or some deposits towards whatever else that is now gone. Hopefully that will change in the future when it is all said and done or else you need to nip that in the bud

I am not sure...

I am not sure exactly how I would have responded to my wife if, as my fiance, she attempted to monitor my spending habits.

Luckily, she never did; so I did not need to make that decision!

Do you monitor how much she spends on her clothing, hairstyling, etc?

If you do, then she has every right to monitor your spending! If you don't, I wonder?

Additionally, if you are living together and have joined incomes; she probably should have a say in the way your income is spent as long as you have a say in how her income is spent.

dont live together, seperate accounts. if i showed her the receipt for the ring she'd probably pass out. i dont care what she does with her money on the stuff she buys. as long as she's not stupid with it.