He made me so mad I cheated on my diet!!!

Just curious, did you specify to the father WHAT CD he would be getting, because here is a cd:http://www.amazon.com …1109#moreAboutT​hisProduct

if it was a gift why are you bothered? are you trying to make some $too?

Soon as you do things for free other people from the wedding expect them for free also, coverage for free and then expecting to make money from print orders just doesnt work imo, if your doing it for free people dont expect the CD to cost anything either.

Unfortunately I think now your into this situation you should recover from it by just giving them the CD with full res images and a smile from you ..... they will view anything else as you being mean unfortunately.

Good question.

When I said I would shoot the wedding as a gift I was not sure how far the "gift" should go. I have never given my pictures on CD so I quess I was going to end up making money off any enlargements. I did struggle with wondering if I should make any money off of a "gift" charging them for enlargements? Maybe next time my gift should be a coffee table book.

Tobiah wrote in post #4058584
if it was a gift why are you bothered? are you trying to make some $too?

Is it not ok do that ?

If you run a restaurant business, and let say that you give your friend a wedding GIFT by providing the food. Is it ok later on, the parent can come to your restaurant eating for free all the time?

It's a GIFT, which means it depends on the GIVER to determine what to give or how much to give, NOT the recipient !
Demanding and forcing the GIVER to give more is not OK.

Kai wrote in post #4058276
I stuck with Yes because that is what I told my friend- But now I am so mad I don't even want to stick with my word about the cd.

That's the thing .. you did tell your friend that you would give Jim a CD to get him off her back so I would follow through on that.

If you don't you risk damage to both friendship & reputation and the situation here does not call for that.

I'm is a similar situation myself .. sometimes when we try to do people a favor it bites us
Mike

Explain to this guy that you have taken advice and been told that the legal position is that the originals of the pictures are yours and even if he had payed for your shoot they still would not be his. He has no right at all to pressure you this way. The copyright is yours.

I think you should talk to your friend, his daughter. Let her know what you think about the situation, and she how she feels. I, personally, would talk to my friend about how their dad is ticking me off. Communication is best.

Nick

She is only 19. I was her teacher once and she thinks of me as a older sister. What I think of her father in law is important to her. I would hate her marriage to suffer.

thanks evryone for all the advice!

Here is what you should do. You said you'd give him a disc. But you did not specify what the files would be set to. So, make your files 300x200 and put a notice on the disc that producing prints from the disc without written consent is unlawful and a violation of your copyright. No digital lab should print them, and if they try to print them on their own, they'll not have the resolution and print quality your prints have and they'll be forced to ask you why. Then you can tell him that as a GIFT (something you give out of the kindness of your heart) you gave your services and prints to your friend (something lots of photographers charge upward of $1,500.00 for). You were NOT obligated to give more, then ask him how he'd feel if someone came to him and requested or assholishly demanded MORE to a gift that he'd given. I have ZERO tolerance for people who do not appreciate something that is so generously given to them and expect more.

Or better yet... Do NOT give him prints, because this will cost you more money and give him the CD as I stated before, and tell him that if he wants prints, he can order them just like anyone else. I'm pissed off for you Kai. haha.

don't play games, just do what you said and provide a full res. cd.
This type of person is the type that will tell everyone they know about the photog who riped them off(even if you didnt).
They will never hear your side and your business suffers.

Thanks again everyone! I appreciate you listening. I will tell you what I finally do.

Kai--you've gotten plenty of advice on the CD itself, and that's your call. So I won't add to that.

What I will say is twofold:

Next time you do something like this as a gift, you need to still do a contract for it, spelling out everything they're receiving AND all the terms you'd usually use for a paying client. That way there can be no argument later about what is and is not included.

And for this time, if you decide to do the CD & proofs, include an invoice showing the $$ amount you would normally charge for those, balanced against a "gift credit" for the same amount (so net zero). It helps them to understand the value of what they received.

Good luck with your decision & let us know how it turns out.

It's so easy for us to say charge $1000 for the CD, or give a low res cd, but in fact, it's very difficult to decide what to do when *you're* the one in the hot seat.

If you said you'd give the CD, then I'd just give it. If you don't, you'll be called a liar. You just cannot win with people like this. And those young brides (19, wow, that's REALLY young) are usually still controlled by their parents to a much larger degree than a 34 year old bride. The 34 year old might tell them to shove it, a 19 year old generally will not go to bat for you. It's an unfortunate situation so give them the CD, let them know this is something you normally charge $1000 for and that you are NOT happy about it so they won't go telling people you give CD's away, and wipe your hands clean of them and erase them from your memory.

Then eat some chocolate and ice cream, get some sleep, and go back to your diet tomorrow.

How can someone be so ungrateful and unreasonable... I hate to see your friend got caught in this mess, and you were harrassed instead of being treated with respect and appreciation!

One thing for sure is you do not have take her in-laws's insult, but maybe you can give them a CD (with whatever you think enough to get your friend out of trouble ...) And next time make it clear what you're giving as a gift