He made me so mad I cheated on my diet!!!

hmmm........... isn't the "wedding gift" normally for the bride and groom ? I never give a gift to the FIL

Pebbs4 wrote in post #4062180
hmmm........... isn't the "wedding gift" normally for the bride and groom ? I never give a gift to the FIL

My thoughts exactly!

Either give him a low res CD, or a high res but watermarked CD. Either way those pictures will be nice enough to show to people, but if he wants to print them up, he will have to buy them from you.
I would lean more towards full size but watermarked. So you didn't "degrade" the photos at all, and they are just fine for him to see, but he can't have prints made.
That way you are honouring your word (which you must), yet not losing control of your photos.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation

My opinion (if you're even interested in yet another opinion): try and turn him into a happy customer who will recommend you to others.

Because you made the mistake of not making it clear what was/wasn't included beforehand, you only have one option if you want to create a happy customer: exceed his expectations. By all means make it very clear that you don't normally do this for free (in fact it would normally cost $XXXX), but because of the uniqueness of the situation I'm happy to ... bla bla bla.

Taking any other path will make him feel like you're taking advantage of the fact that you are the only one with good photos of the day (a "privilege" for which you were not paid). Because you shot for free, he probably doesn't even see you as a professional in his mind's eye. So I would educate him, but in a gracious and generous way, so that this has a chance of ending well.

But that's just me.

Read all these posts & make your own conclusion, but if it was me I'm damn sure I would not roll over & play being the nice guy as advised by some folks. We in England have a saying called "taking the piss". I would suggest that's exactly what this guy is doing.

I forgot to mention that you can't complain about a present you received. You have to accept it the way you received it, it's still better than no present.

If the FIL still complaints, ask him for the written contract which is signed by you and him. No contract, nothing to fulfill, not even a wish list of shots. That's the reason it's called "wish list" and not "must list".
Still complaining, send them the bill for your wasted time you had to wait as they hadn't educated their son for being on time.

low res CD.

Hi Kai,

I really feel for you on this one. The FIL is a real control freak. How about giving the high res CD with a letter and markings on the disc which give permission for printing only at a local pro lab.

This gives them the CD, but makes sure your photos will be printed well.

That is if you are really worried about how they will print.

Personally I think a promise is a promise - sounds like the guy is riding you because there was some delay in getting the CD to your friend. No one likes to see a low life control freak get his way. But you did promise your friend to give a CD. But do give it with an invoice for the value to you and than write that off.

Than you can retain some benifit in them seeing the value of it and perhaps with your tax bill - don't know how that works where you come from.

Do you really want the sort of clients this man is going to refer?
Your friend will still refer you clients no matter what the outcome you decide upon with her FIL

Dont let one man (thats not even your client) push you around.. You are a professional.
Doing your job as a gift for a friend doesnt change that.

Kai wrote in post #4062026
..not only did he tell me I didn't get all the pictures they ask for but then later when talking to my friend he told her that he was very rude to me and he will stay on top of me until I give him his pictures/cd.

and after this, I would definitively decide to give him absolutely nothing. If I was veeery nice, I would give him watermarked low res pics. If you give him what he wants he will never think you were very nice and recommend you. He will think he was rude enough to get away with what he wanted, that he beat you.

I can't wait to hear what you finally decided.

JJacula wrote in post #4058479
Give him a low resolution, watermarked CD and a price list that sets out your print prices and your high-res CD price - which should be no less than $1000. Charge him for the set of proofs, too.

He didn't specify a high-res CD, so don't give him one!

I agree. Watermark them (quite a visible one) and put your copyright along an edge. Make them low enough resolution so the biggest size print that can be made is a 3 1/2 x 5. Don't give him
anything more. Be polite but stand up for your rights. You were working for the bride - not him.

Kai, honestly, I would simply tell him that you did the shoot as a gift/favor for your friend. What you are giving is the gift - if the wants extra, charge him for it.

I can sort of see how somebody might not understand why giving away the CD is hurting your business, so giving him the benefit of the doubt, he just doesn't realize what he's asking for. But he must realize that there is a cost for an extra set of printed proofs, and he is demanding that you add that to your gift? Nice...

If it were me, to be honest, I would probably give him the CD but say no proofs. Not because I think it's right.. but it's a difficult position and that's probably what I'd do to keep the peace. They don't sound like the type to order enlargements anyway, so at least you could save the money on the proofs. Then I'd talk to the bride, who hopefully would have more sense about her, and let her know that you can still get her professionally printed enlargements if she wants better quality prints. Even if it's sometime down the road, hopefully she'll order some. But I'm a pushover.

A gift is a gift.

If you'd given the bride and groom a case of wine instead, would he be whinging and on your back for the glasses? And the corkscrew?

Some people have no respect!

Throw a huge watermark on the pics or don't give it to him. he's not the customer and technically no one is. Just a friend and they're not even family, well, only by marriage to your friend. Or charge him mucho bucks for it.

Seriously, there's a time for ethics and a time for life. This is life, they need to deal. Should have been nicer. The lesson is on their end, not yours. My 2 cents