If you think the learning curve is frustrating with digital, you should have been an old geezer like me that had to learn on film. Imagine waiting a week to see your bad results!
I think Curtis N has this pretty well nailed - white balance and exposure.
I think you can make pictures with the lights you have. Just don't be afraid to use an ISO of 400. The picture will look fine.
What you are doing might be easier if the camera is set on manual.
If I were you, after setting the ISO, I would pick a shutter speed that I could hand hold. Back in 35mm film days that would have been 1 over the focal length of the lens. If it was a 100mm lens, you could expect to hold it for 1/100 of a second. Of course, if you are using a tripod you can fudge that quite a bit and worry mostly about subject motion. I still don't think I would go below 1/60th of a second with a living subject.
Then I would find the aperture you should use. Just pointing your camera at the subject on a white backdrop and adjusting the aperture until the little arrow under the image in the viewfinder is centered won't give you the proper exposure because there is too much white. When the meter is centered, it is telling you that whatever it is reading will be a medium tone. If the white balance is neutral, that would be a medium gray. You need to either meter off something that is a medium tone in real life, like an 18% gray card filling the whole metered area, or intentionally "overexpose" the picture. That intentional overexposure to get the right exposure is what Curtis was telling you how to do. If you want something to look white, in manual, just adjust either the ISO, aperture, or shutter speed until the thing that is white just starts to show the blinkies in LCD when it is set to the shooting information mode. I think you will have to press the "info" button twice to go the that mode from the normal mode. See page 107 (if it's like the one I just downloaded) of your instruction manual if this "info" thing is confusing. Anyhow, that blinking portion of the image will be pure white with no detail. You probably don't want to push the whole background over the edge, but a few blinkies on it will get you pretty close. Just be sure you haven't set up blinkies on your subject.
As for color balance, incandescent light is orange or yellow, depending. Flash is usually pretty close to daylight color. Doing a custom white balance off the white background using just the incandescent lights will probably get you close to making the incandescent light look like daylight, which is what you want. However, if you get that right and add your flash, the flash will then record as blue light. If you do a custom white balance using the flash, then the incandescent lights will look orange again. The bottom line is, don't mix the two kinds of light if you want the picture to look "normal."
I guess I should quit writing. I'm probably just getting you more confused.