What do you do when...

Couple of questions I have due to the past few weddings I have done. Let me know what you have done or would suggest in these situations.

1. You only meet with the Bride (because the groom doesn't seem to care) to go over what photos she would like taken and time frames, but when the wedding takes place nothing is on time (people missing that should be there) or the bride is so nervous that she doesn't want to be in front of the camera very long. In relation to this, she later questions why those "wanted shots" were not taken, despite her throwing up or fainting so you can't take the phots. And the photos of her that you did get are not the best because she doesn't smile or looks so nervous she is going to puke. (true story)

2. The bride wants a specific shot that she has either seen someplace else or that a friend's, family member's or daughter's photographer at their wedding did. You don't get to see this image, just hear about it. So basically you are trying to set up a shot that the bride thinks will look good and you have no visuals to go off of.

3. While doing the sessions before the ceremony with the groom and/or bride and their parties (taking images that the bride and groom agreed on and would like, as far as style and poses) - some of the party members don't work with you because they aren't into it. They act this way infront of the bride and groom but neither of them say anything.

4. The bride or groom do not stress that you are the professional photographer and you don't allow a piggy-backer or occasional second shooter that you didn't bring. How do you tell this person - usually a family member - that they are not allowed to take photos of the shots you are setting up? (yes, in contract) How do you say this in front of the bride and groom who probably don't care and would prefer more shots from their family?

5. Children in the wedding party will not listen to their parents. When the parents are not in control of the children and they act out during posed shots - so you can't get a good one. And also when you don't want the children in the photos but they continue to run through them and the parents don't seem to understand why this is bad. How to you address the parents and how do you also tell them that you or your assistant will rangle the kids?

6. Someone, in this case, mother of the groom doesn't want her picture taken very much but then realizes she is the mother of the groom and he wants tons of photos with her in them - from shots of them together, to full family shots, to one with every fricken grandchild you can find. How do you deal with this, when it's obvious that they will have to be in the pictures? And how to you get them to pay attention to you? In this case, she would not look at me while taking the photos - maybe someone behind me or another person in the shot. I have no idea why and even when pointing this out, she continued. So in this case, most of the shots, she either has her eyes closed or is looking at someone else.

I think that is it - just want some real life stories or suggestions since every event is new and brings new crap to the table.

Cover as much as you can in the contract. I specifically have a statement about not being able to get shots if people aren't there (sad it has to be stated at all, but it does). I also cover the fact that I have no control over how people act/look in the shots as well as not being responisble for not getting shots if I am being restricted by the rules of the facility (this covers not being able to shoot ceremonies if the officialtor does not allow it).

Then if in the end they are not happy about what you did or did not get you can point out that contractually they agreed that under those conditions you had no obligation.

You can put issues like this into your contract, to cover your butt...however, it really would be better to find a way to work around these types of problems.

Wedding photography is a lot more than knowing how to take great photos. There is the business aspect of it...but there is also the 'people wrangling' part of it. You need to be in control of your situation, as much as possible...especially during the formals, where the main goal is to get the photos taken.

Some people are naturally good at taking charge of a situation...other really have to work on it. Having or using a loud voice really helps. You need to authoritative but you don't want to come off as bossy. Being tall helps...some people may need to use something like a step ladder, not only to get a better angle to shoot from...but also to get up high so that people can see and hear them.

You could probably get some good tips from a junior high/middle school teacher.

There are countless techniques or things that you can try or say to them...to get their attention and cooperation. If they really aren't into it...try the old standby..."The faster we get this done, the faster you can get out of here"

Have a cooperation clause in your contract so that you are not held liable for missed shots if people are late, absent or non-cooperative. That covers a lot. If people are not happy with the results, at least you can go back to the contract.

Never guarantee to replicate another picture in the exact same way, especially if you do not have a visual, but be open to suggestions. Make sure to state in your contract that no specific shot can ever be guaranteed, but say that you always do your best to capture everything the B&G wants.

To help organize the formals, ask for a list of the groups to be photographed and for someone to help identify the parties. This way, you can organize the formals and be taken seriously. Be authoritative, but not bossy. We also ask that only the people to be photographed be on location for the formals. Otherwise, it’s hard to find the parties that are in the picture. If they do not follow our recommendations, we are not held liable for the missed shots or for people walking in the background (although we do our best to ask people to kindly step aside when they are in the frame when they shouldn’t be).

Children will be children. Always do your best to make them smile, but if they make funny faces, that’s how they were on the wedding day.

I don’t think we should have absolute monopoly over the pictures. Granted I don’t want 10 people behind me, because then the B&G don’t know where to look anymore. But I know that most pictures taken by the guests won’t have the same quality my husband and I provide. I prefer being nice and having a reputation as a friendly and social photographer. We always explain clearly the risks to the bride and groom of having too many people taking pictures, but if they don't want to say anything about it, we will be nice with the other guests as long as they don't get in our way or divert the B&G's attention during our shots.

Well said, k_blais

Good point about explaining to the B&G the risks of not following these rules/guidelines...and that they will get the best photos if you are allowed to do what you do, without all the distractions. I think the best case scenario, when people are not cooperating...is to have the B&G (or mother) talk to them, rather than you having to do it. That way, you don't look like the bad guy.

Also, if you find that your clients (B&G) in general, are not all that interested in the photos....raise your prices. They will care a lot more if they are paying you $5000 than if they are only paying $500-1000 etc.

Thank you very much for all that information and suggestions.

I do have a clause about working with me to get the best possible photos and about not having other photographers following my every move. (which causes physical issues as well as possible lighting issues) However, I am finding more and more clients that do not adhear to these little things which is causing me to have to speak up.

I have found that when I am taking photos, which the bride isn't present for, I have to explain why something didn't happen or why this photo wasn't captured - which feels like an excuse to me even if it's not. Due to people not caring, not being where they should be or taking too long... whatever the reason may be.

1. I spend time with the B&G in advance to help reduce the risk of this. Around a month out from their wedding I go over their day plan to make sure things look like they'll run smoothly. This is probably why weddings I photograph usually run more or less on time and a low stress.

2/3 Bit hard to do that.

4. Covered in my contract. Also you have to be assertive, but friendly. If someone tries shooting every shot you take explain that if they do that the subject doesn't know where to look which can spoil the photo for everyone, including the B&G who have paid good money for you to take their photos.

5. People get photos of what happens...

6. Be assertive, but friendly. Point out that these photos will be around for decades and a nice smiling face looking at the camera will be much nicer than her talking or looking away. Don't say it quite like that though.

When you start out you usually get the low budget weddings, which are harder than the expensive weddings - locations aren't as nice, the people aren't as co-operative, etc. Experience counts in situations like this, but you usually don't get the experience until after you need it. Just be assertive but friendly, and do your best.

Another tip I picked up (probably around here) is to use some of your outtakes from previous weddings...and show those to your clients before their wedding. Tell them, "This is what happens when...."

@ Tim - thank you very much for the insight - working on all those things every weekend. lol

@ Mike - ha ha, never thought of that - kinda afraid to show people photos like that, but I can see exactly how that would help and will have to remember to do it next time. haha

I also carry around photos of "this is what happens when" when I meet the month before the wedding w/ the client. It seems to drive the point home!

It is true the more you charge the less stress the weddings tend to be and the more respect you get. The less hastle in the end everything tends to be. If people are not cooperative---they don't get their photos taken. I take photos of what happens and only can control as much as I can.

1. You only meet with the Bride (because the groom doesn't seem to care) to go over what photos she would like taken and time frames, but when the wedding takes place nothing is on time (people missing that should be there) or the bride is so nervous that she doesn't want to be in front of the camera very long. In relation to this, she later questions why those "wanted shots" were not taken, despite her throwing up or fainting so you can't take the phots. And the photos of her that you did get are not the best because she doesn't smile or looks so nervous she is going to puke. (true story)

((Focus on detail.. not to many full expression shots. Do what you can but advise teh client even before the day that "you will do your best"
If its a series of portraits with specific people, you shoudl have on your contract an allocated area where the client can speciically name who she would like a shot with. This way, on teh day she can just stand there while u call out the names conveyer like..))

2. The bride wants a specific shot that she has either seen someplace else or that a friend's, family member's or daughter's photographer at their wedding did.

((Advise any and very client that you will do what you can, however your style is your own and ts not fair to plagiusrise ideas))

"You don't get to see this image, just hear about it. So basically you are trying to set up a shot that the bride thinks will look good and you have no visuals to go off of."

Another for the "well do our best" basket

"3. While doing the sessions before the ceremony with the groom and/or bride and their parties (taking images that the bride and groom agreed on and would like, as far as style and poses) - some of the party members don't work with you because they aren't into it. They act this way infront of the bride and groom but neither of them say anything.

((Get used to it... 80% of bridal parties i deal with dont give a toss... theyre jsut there out courtesy by not saying no.))

"4. The bride or groom do not stress that you are the professional photographer and you don't allow a piggy-backer or occasional second shooter that you didn't bring. How do you tell this person - usually a family member - that they are not allowed to take photos of the shots you are setting up? (yes, in contract) How do you say this in front of the bride and groom who probably don't care and would prefer more shots from their family?

((You dont.. who are YOU to tell anyone not to take a photo? Contracted or not, its an event which will bring many people together for a very short time. If someone is hindering your work, advise the culprit that they are distracting you and you woul appreciated their distance. But in no way shape or form do you have ANY right to tell someone to stop taking photos. If you have an issue with someone taking your compositions, do them in privacy.
Im sorry, but photographers need to understand and apprecite that they are there FOR THE CLIENT, not for themselves. They are thre to do a job and thats it. That job is to archive the day as they see fit, however they are not there to dictate to guests and family of what can and cannot be done.
This will bring on flames from several who also feel strongly in this, but like i said, if YOUR work is hindered, only THEN do you have a right to speak up.
Aside from that, just do your job. ))

5. Children in the wedding party will not listen to their parents. When the parents are not in control of the children and they act out during posed shots - so you can't get a good one. ((Keep going until you do.. the parents will eventualy get the hint and bring the kids into line.. ))

And also when you don't want the children in the photos but they continue to run through them and the parents don't seem to understand why this is bad.
((Why is it bad? Running across frame takes what.. 5 to 10 seconds.. have a scratch and keep going. If the kids continue, ask the parents to intervene. if the parents do not, advise teh client of the situation.
Im sorry but it seems youre not prepared to deal with humansif these issues are concerning you.
I dont mean that as in insult, but shooting wedding is more than technical ability. Its knowing how to handle a crowd, how to bring people closer together without sounding like a moron and above all, its knowing what to say and when to say it for you to be able to do your job. ))

How to you address the parents and how do you also tell them that you or your assistant will rangle the kids?

((You dont, you make a joke of the childs erratic behaviouu such as too" much red cordial", or if theyre whingy "someones getting tired "
Lightn up a bit.. Yes its a stressful job, but the more you stress about elements beynd your control the harder the job wil be.
Youre dealing with people, humans are erratic by nature expecially when theyre emotionally driven))

6. Someone, in this case, mother of the groom doesn't want her picture taken very much but then realizes she is the mother of the groom and he wants tons of photos with her in them - from shots of them together, to full family shots, to one with every fricken grandchild you can find.

((OK... ))

How do you deal with this, when it's obvious that they will have to be in the pictures?
((You do it.. its your job to do what the client wants you to do.. its why you were hired... if you were working in a bar, and someone came up to you and asked for a cocktail, but instead you felt that they would be better off with a scotch and coke, how do you think theyd respond?
What? Your not going to give them what they ask simply because you cannot handle unruly children?
Its why continueous shutter exists, its why god gave you a face which can be contorted to pull faces and make children laugh.. its not tough to calm down a child for a photo.. believe me all it takes is some effort on your part, and frankly thats the job you were hired to do))

And how to you get them to pay attention to you?
((How would you get YOUR children to pay attention to you? If your so far up yourself that you cant see teh sun, then youve got no hope. Thats not an insult, its a simple fact that in this game, despite teh fact that you have a job to do, if you bring tension tot hte scene, EVERYONE will pick up on it.
In turn, lighten up.. have fun, tease the kids, pull faces, get them to laugh, make fart noises or do whatever you need to do to ge this positie response. Once they realise you too are human, your job will be much easier))

In this case, she would not look at me while taking the photos - maybe someone behind me or another person in the shot.
((Tell her speocifically that if she wants a good foto, she needs to concentrate on teh camera which is paid for))

I have no idea why and even when pointing this out, she continued.

(Not your problem then.. ))


So in this case, most of the shots, she either has her eyes closed or is looking at someone else.

((Closed eyes.. thats what LCDs are for... as for looking somewhere else, stop what your doing and tell her to concentrate. If she cannot, allow everyone there to do theyre shots, and once theyre done, SEND THEM AWAY. This is what i mean about hindering your work. From there, there shoudl be no further issues))

I think that is it - just want some real life stories or suggestions since every event is new and brings new crap to the table.

((Dude, you are obviously disheartened about this considering your terminology and lack of experience. Experience will coe with time, however weddings require ALOT of patience. If you cannot find that patience within yourself on teh outset, then there is no hope in continuing.
Dont get me wrong, but it all comes down to how you see what you do, how you do it, and why you do it.
By calling it crap, tells me that your letting the littlest things get to you. All these leemtns you have described can be controlled.
All it takes is some guts to step up and say your piece for you to be able to conitue to do your job.
In the end, thats all that matters.
What you think of any given person or situation is noones concern, Do not ever think that a client will give a **** becuase you couldnt find parking or that your meal was cold, do not ever believe that a client cares for what you feel or how stressed you might becmes becuase you cannot handle a screaming child.
YOU are the professional and you ARE EXPECTED to be able to handle a live event.

Im sorry if this comes across as being tough, but in fact it isnt.. its a plain reality which stems from your market demographic of clients.
Look at the market you service and you will come to understand that certain sections of the community have different standards, different outlooks, different wys of life, and differnt expectations.
By understandanding and adapting YOURSELF to these standards will open teh doors for you to expand into areas which you never thought were possible.

My solution for the ungrateful, obnoxious bridezillas was to quit wedding photography completly. I only got into it in the beginning because I needed some way to make some money after I was laid off from from my aerospace job. I went back to working in the manufacturing industry and I'm now semi-retired and doing freelance aviation photography. If I never shoot another wedding it'll be too soon...

@ Padreous - Thankx, lots of good information in there. And I understand that the written text can come off in a different format then how I may really act or speak - so any reference to me sounding like I don't have experience or my use of the English language I will overlook on your part. However, these are just situations I have been in reguardless of how well planned out something was or how much focus I have. But I have delt with them. The reason for the post was to get other opinions on situations like these - as I am younger, a female and only been photographing weddings for about a year now. So some of the concerns were due to the fact that older couples will hire me, but then don't give me the respect because I am both younger and a female. It happens. And I do understand that a child running by only takes a few seconds and my shutter can handle that, in this case, the child was running back and forth while the groom was doing the garter toss. Funny to some, not to others? But thank you for your insight.

@ JWright - ha ha. I can see it being stressful at time, but I do like the product and meeting new people. And I haven't had a "bridezilla" as of yet, but we will see.