I dunno which side I'm standing when I write this post. It's been two months since my last visit. I was not posting anywhere else since one day in June that I felt I'm fed up with what I saw, what I heard and what I've found when people post their photos in a local website in my home town.
One shares his work when he want to get others' appreciation to make himself happy and as a proof to his ability. He thinks his work is perfect or... shall not be called "crap". But when another guy came and he saw what he think is really a crap, he told the author about what he thinks. True, most guys defence when they are being challenged, that's very normal. But if he defence himself by discriminating others', questioning about their level to be able to criticize his work... that's very scandalous. (I learnt that word recently in here, not sure if it is pointing me.)
This is what I faced in that day. Yes, I agree I'm still young in experience but I'm sure what I said about his photos in that moment is correct. And that guy said I was making jokes to make others laugh on me. I did not fight back after that. Suddenly I reviewed my posts there and I was blamed most time I post what I think one's work can be improved; and I was thanked when I say "Well done".
Older users deserves thumbs-down-free feedback, I've found that outthere, also.
"They only want Yes-men to read their post and just say yes to them." -- that's all I can tell to describe them. "How point-less it is to post and to feedback?", I think. "How stupid I was to say what I think! I'm still weak to do that"
So, I have not post anymore and disappeared since that day. Then I look back to myself and started reading more books and look at more photos. I was taught by my boss in another issue to ask myself before telling the bad things I think to someone's work -- "Is this work really that bad?" "What would they feel when I tell them the truth?" "Am I going to take that risk to tell him?"
It was all my fault and I am a coward, you may think... Perhaps you're right, I dunno. I'm really too young to say. To avoid being blamed again, and to avoid the hard feelings to lie, I stopped replying anyone when they ask me for what I feel. I found that allows me to be more comfortable to live. Unhealthy and negative, I know. But that will be what I do, probably, in the rest of my life. Taking and looking at photos will now be just a way for me to please my eyes and help me remember what I have seen.
I dunno why I wrote this post, too.
