Don't ya love it when

you try to take good pics of your kids and spend money posting them at a decent site only to have your in-laws in another country (you know, the ones you post them for in the first place) ask why you bother?

My in-laws are visiting and my MIL asked, "What do you do with all these pictures? We can't even see them at home." They are 90% of the reason I got more serious about photography again and found a decent place for my galleries.

I can't get it out of my head. Is it okay that I'm the only one who cares about what I'm doing (I'm not being sarcastic)? Why are there more comments about 'why bother' and not more 'thanks for the pics'? Maybe they think I'm being selfish to get into this? Are they just sick of it? Do they want me to stop?

I've had all these weird thoughts running through my head tonight. I always thought I was striving to get better to benefit not only myself, but my family. Now I'm questioning it. Sort of hurts. But I do enjoy it - I mean I think I do. I feel like I still want to get better, but find myself asking - as other seem to be asking me - why?

I hear you. My situation is a little different, but disappointing notheless. I take pictures of my extended family and e-mail them the pictures. I know that they've recieved them because they show up on their Myspace pages, but they never acknowledge that I sent them at all. Not a peep.

I'll continue to take the pictures but may not be so quick to pass them along in the future.

Ask yourself why your into photograph. If whats important to you is pictures for your family, then it should like it's not worth it. Sell your gear and get into another activity, one that they would appreciate.

If your into photography for yourself, then screw'em, what they say does not matter one bit. Take pics that please yourself. If others like them, its gravy but recognition should not matter.

gjl711 wrote in post #5365024
Ask yourself why your into photograph. If whats important to you is pictures for your family, then it should like it's not worth it. Sell your gear and get into another activity, one that they would appreciate.

If your into photography for yourself, then screw'em, what they say does not matter one bit. Take pics that please yourself. If others like them, its gravy but recognition should not matter.

I totally agree with you. I take pictures for my own enjoyment and part of that enjoyment is seeing my stuff on other people's web sites. And they ARE family after all, even if their manners do suck. Maybe I'll send them the pics like usual but leave their inheritance to my cats instead.

It seems to me like they are old fashioned and want prints...

Mum2J&M wrote in post #5364878
you try to take good pics of your kids and spend money posting them at a decent site only to have your in-laws in another country (you know, the ones you post them for in the first place) ask why you bother?

My in-laws are visiting and my MIL asked, "What do you do with all these pictures? We can't even see them at home." They are 90% of the reason I got more serious about photography again and found a decent place for my galleries.

I can't get it out of my head. Is it okay that I'm the only one who cares about what I'm doing (I'm not being sarcastic)? Why are there more comments about 'why bother' and not more 'thanks for the pics'? Maybe they think I'm being selfish to get into this? Are they just sick of it? Do they want me to stop?

I've had all these weird thoughts running through my head tonight. I always thought I was striving to get better to benefit not only myself, but my family. Now I'm questioning it. Sort of hurts. But I do enjoy it - I mean I think I do. I feel like I still want to get better, but find myself asking - as other seem to be asking me - why?

Ouch, the issue is that she does not know how much you care about photographing your children. You have put loads of time and effort into it and she will probably never understand how you feel. Artists have this issue all the time. This is where the rubber meets the road. You have to shoot for YOU. Not for the kids, husband or family. You need something for yourself. Even your handle indicates why and for whom, you create.

Some folks will never understand the heart and soul of an artist. If your MIL fails to notice there may be other issues at play, but shoot for you.

One thing is for sure, I would take her, alone for a ride and let her know exactly how you feel. I have had to do that with my family more than once and it sometimes takes a few times to get the respect from them you deserve. You would think it would be automatic but often the arrows that hit the hardest are the ones fired by family or close friends.

Keep shooting, but do it for you.

Well, password protect your web space. Then, see how many come around to get the passwords. This will give you an idea of how much interest there is out there for the images. Hey, if the interest is not there, start photographing other things. Photography can be a lot more rewarding if you expand your skills and start fooling around with other subject matter.

I shoot and PP because i love it. Do it for yourself and stop thinking about other people and them not responceing to the pic's you post for them. When i started shooting again and sending pic's of my grandson everybody always email me back saying they love the pic's, now i guess they just expect it and don't even brother saying anything. Don't let it get to you and just keep shooting and enjoying it. pos

Roach711 wrote in post #5364947
I hear you. My situation is a little different, but disappointing notheless. I take pictures of my extended family and e-mail them the pictures. I know that they've recieved them because they show up on their Myspace pages, but they never acknowledge that I sent them at all. Not a peep.

Haha, I have had pretty much the same thing happen. My nephew was going to his prom last year, and my family wanted me to come take pictures. So I leave work early, drive an hour and 15 minutes from work to their house, take pictures at my sisters house, take pictures at my nephews girlfriends house, get them all put online and send out the link. Not one thanks, nothing. But I did see the pictures on my nephews MySpace page. Oh well, I would have gone to see him anyway without them asking, but I guess it was the point.

Mum, I guess you need to ask yourself who you're really doing this for. If you're doing it for them, and they seem not to care, and you don't really enjoy doing it, then its probably a waste of time. If you're enjoying yourself, then keep at it. I take all the pictures I take for me, because I enjoy it. If it was a burden, I would stop.

i understand how you feel. personally, i don't yearn for other people's interest at all, its purely a personal hobby i enjoy for myself. any hobby is something which causes the hobbyist to be totally obsessed with it, but be "ho hum" to another person. you have to understand one thing - whatever floats your boat may not float theirs. its normal. see it this way, if a friend of yours send you weblinks/on-line brochures for lets say, high-end computer components, firearms, purist hifi gear or even intricate custom-made figurines, and you're not in tuned to such things, you would probably be 'stone cold' about it too. of course, it depends on the person, if you're the "nice chap" type, u would acknowledge/comment even if it doesnt interest you. its basic courtesy. but not everyone practice that, or am obliged to. so just be happy with your photography. its supposed to make YOU happy!

Thanks for the kind support everyone.

I guess I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I think photography for me has been an outlet to put my brain and creativity to work on other things besides the house and kids. I liked it before getting married when I was a student, but took it back up after having my first son. Then it just skyrocketed from there.

I do try other types of photography - mostly nature. I think I'm finding it frustrating because I know I can never again just do snapshots (i.e. aim a camera and use complete auto mode without thinking about composition, etc.). It's all too engrained in my head to think about proper lighting, composition, etc. I enjoy photography and pushing to see how far I can go with it. But, although I enjoy making the most of my images as best I can - and hopefully learning and growing from that, I can't help but feel a bit hurt that some people find my efforts unnecessary and useless.

My Stepfather, who's been an avid photographer since the beginning of time, has said I am "good" at the kid portrait pics. And, as meager a compliment as that may sound, it was very special and important for me to hear that coming from him. My Father, on the other hand, always makes a point of telling me I take too many pictures and am wasting my time. My husband puts up with it, although he starts getting annoyed if I'm taking too many. When family members asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year and I made a point to let everyone know the only thing I wanted was a B&H gift certificate... I didn't get any. So even if they don't care about the hobby, it seems they don't even care that it makes me happy? That because it's a waste of time for them, it's also a waste of time for me? To me, it's a documentary of my life and my family's life. Shouldn't that be important to them? Don't they see any difference in their pictures compared to mine? If not, then perhaps I should just pack it up now. And I suppose that's what sucks the most. I'd like to think I've made at least some progress over the past five years. That it makes a bit of difference to someone other than just me.

I think it's much easier to think you can just say "f" off than it is in reality. Like it or not, we are all looking for some form of gratification from others. I'll be the first to admit I love to hear positive things about my images - that maybe I've captured a moment in my family's history that everyone can look back on and enjoy. And I work hard at making that image a memorable one - because I've tried so hard to attain the skill to actually get to that point.

I wonder if I was actually good enough to be making money at photography if they would start thinking differently. Is that what it takes? You can't just be half-decent at something, you have to earn a living at it to be considered "authentic" or to gain that person's respect? I'm sure if I had a degree in it, they'd be making all other types of assumptions and perhaps be a bit more understanding.

Mum2J&M wrote in post #5364878
you try to take good pics of your kids and spend money posting them at a decent site only to have your in-laws in another country (you know, the ones you post them for in the first place) ask why you bother?

My in-laws are visiting and my MIL asked, "What do you do with all these pictures? We can't even see them at home." They are 90% of the reason I got more serious about photography again and found a decent place for my galleries.

I can't get it out of my head. Is it okay that I'm the only one who cares about what I'm doing (I'm not being sarcastic)? Why are there more comments about 'why bother' and not more 'thanks for the pics'? Maybe they think I'm being selfish to get into this? Are they just sick of it? Do they want me to stop?

I've had all these weird thoughts running through my head tonight. I always thought I was striving to get better to benefit not only myself, but my family. Now I'm questioning it. Sort of hurts. But I do enjoy it - I mean I think I do. I feel like I still want to get better, but find myself asking - as other seem to be asking me - why?

I could post a million photos of my daughter on line, and my mother would never see them. She doesn't have a computer. Believe it or not, not everyone does.

When she takes pictures, she gets reprints made, puts them in an envelope, and drops them in the mail.

That's another way to go...

It's kinda like that relative who video tapes every friggin minute of every friggin day then wants to play it back to you...every friggin minute of it!

Seriously though, perhaps the reaction of "why even bother?" wasn't what you are looking for and at least to me, doesn't sound too nice a thing to say anyways, however I am sure you are proud that you have all these fantastic photos (and they are fantastic) of your children ,etc.

I shoot b/c I enjoy it. Sure, it's nice to get a compliment here and there, however that's not what I am looking for. It's more of a creative outlet for me and I could care less what others think of my crappy photos!

When I show people my photos, they usually like the ones that either has people in them (themselves, friends, whatever) or something familiar and obviously pretty. Some of the more "artistic" shots they just skip over...that's just the way it is. I don't take any offense to that. As long as they enjoy my pics I am a happy camper!

Keep on shooting Mum!!!

Mum I feel your pain...

I'm not really in the same situation, but I wish I got more compliments from people. Now this is likely my own fault, cause I'm my own worst critic. I've got thousands of pictures on my computer, but hardly any displayed in my home or in albums (except vacations, etc). I've only been at it for 2 years (just got my DSLR this past xmas) so I'm not too discouraged since it hasn't been very long. I'm still collecting the right gear for myself that would suit my style of photography.

Don't give up, when you look back at your pictures 10 years from now you'll be happy you took them.

I bought a dSLR so that I would have better more options than with a P&S. I bought it so I would have some nice pictures of my kids. I started getting better and decided, "Hey, why not try to make some camera money with them." I have several private galleries on my ExpMan site so that my family can view them anytime they want. I couldn't care less if anyone else sees them. Yes, I have put some photos up and have had several purchased. So, what? I can see pics of my kids from anywhere I want to. Including my phone if I need a pick me up. I wouldn't worry about your in-laws. You keep doing what you're doing and don't try to please them. You have some great shots and you should be very proud. Remember, you can't please everyone. Besides, you know what's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?.....

Outlaws are wanted!