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Thread started 06 May 2008 (Tuesday) 11:34
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Paranoid Parent Syndrome - to post pictures off offspring?

 
philthejuggler
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May 06, 2008 11:34 |  #1

Hi all,

I often want to put examples of my work on various forums on POTN, but a lot of it is pictures of my kids.

Does anyone perceive any danger of posting pictures of their kids here, or am I being super-paranoid?

I'm not sure what I'm afraid of - that some predatory pedo will see a picture of my kids & then hunt them down or something.

Just interested in others thoughts,

Thanks

Phil


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May 06, 2008 11:40 |  #2

judging by the amount of kid pics here, I doubt most are worried; me included.


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Chet
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May 06, 2008 11:45 |  #3

Yes I am very reluctant to post pictures of my kids. And I use private and password protected galleries on my photo hosting site.




  
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Rhinotherunt
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May 06, 2008 11:47 |  #4

Don't give names and locations...


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May 06, 2008 11:51 |  #5

see? the thing is, there are just as many, if not more, Freaks running around out in public (real life) than there are on the net and even a lot fewer here in photography forums... no? anyhow, the point im trying to make is this... on the net, theyd have to REALLY be into your kids photo to try and track him / her down, (unless you post info in your avatar like HOME TOWN... or addy..lol ) out in public (real world) its as easy as following you home or following him / her to school!


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Lelasmama05
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May 06, 2008 12:14 |  #6

I post many pictures of my daughter on here. I guess I'm not as perinoid...




  
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CheetaPita
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May 06, 2008 12:34 |  #7

i agree with the above posters....i dont think its terribly dangerous to post your kids photos online - esp not on a forum like this - unless you also give out their name, address, school name, hobbies, and favorite candy or something lol.


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GPR1
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May 06, 2008 12:54 as a reply to  @ CheetaPita's post |  #8

I think we teach our kids a lot with every decision we make, big and small.

A little example: We attend church regularly. When my daughter was born, people would come up and take her from us at church. She'd be passed around like a toy, with old women and young children cooing over her. We might not see her for an hour - or maybe 5 minutes if she got fussy. In her being passed around, she learned at the earlies age that the world is full of strange, loving people. The world was a warm place. I want my children to think the world is full primarily of good people.

Other people bring their children to church and keep them to themselves. They worry their children might catch a virus from someone, or that a person might not hold them correctly. I respect their choice, but I wonder what lesson they're teaching.

Parents must be reasonably cautious, of course. My kids wear helmets when riding their bikes and seat belts in the car - neither or which I did as a child. They aren't allowed to have internet accounts that I don't know and have access to. The computers stay in the public areas of the house. The world marches forward and we march with it. I won't stop my kids from accessing the internet, but I'll set reasonable limits.

To the OP: You're the parent, and with that you have the obligation and the right to decide what's right for your kids. My question would be, what lesson are you teaching if you post their pics on the forum, and what lesson are you teaching if you choose not to?

There is a risk:

- A creep might be looking at the boards when your post was on the top page
- He (it's likely a "he", right?) might take particular notice of your children;
- He might have the inclination and ability to make it to your small corner of the world;
- Once there he might be able to track down your children.

That risk is real. It's probably also incredibly small. Again, only you can know what you think is best as a parent, and I would respect any decision you make. I, however, would be inclined to think the world is mostly full of good people and act on that. I would then make sure I'd taken appropriate precautions, eg. don't put your home address on the post.

Dewitt Jones, a great photographer, once said he loved working for National Geographic because they sent him out to photograph "What's right with the world." The 24 hour news cycle focuses on what's wrong with the world because that sells. In most of our lives, however, in the parts of the world where we're luckyto not struggle for our daily existence, we rarely encounter the horrific events we watch all day on TV or read on line.

That's a really long-winded way of saying I'd post pics of my kids. In proof, two of the things I cherish most in the world:


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May 06, 2008 13:29 |  #9

People look at your kids at the mall - that is more dangerous. Most people here don't even live by you. Look at all the child models you see everyday in ads in the newspaper, I never heard of anything happening to them. It's nice to see a parent protective of their kids anyway. I wish more people would be.


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Ferrari ­ 1
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May 06, 2008 14:08 |  #10

What a GREAT post! I agree with so many of your comments. Balance is everything. Very well thought out post, and I'm sure your kids will grow into wonderful, loving people that know boundaries, as well as freedom to make their OWN good decisions. These life lessons you are teaching them, today, will be passed on for many generations to come (God willing).



GPR1 wrote in post #5471733 (external link)
I think we teach our kids a lot with every decision we make, big and small.

A little example: We attend church regularly. When my daughter was born, people would come up and take her from us at church. She'd be passed around like a toy, with old women and young children cooing over her. We might not see her for an hour - or maybe 5 minutes if she got fussy. In her being passed around, she learned at the earlies age that the world is full of strange, loving people. The world was a warm place. I want my children to think the world is full primarily of good people.

Other people bring their children to church and keep them to themselves. They worry their children might catch a virus from someone, or that a person might not hold them correctly. I respect their choice, but I wonder what lesson they're teaching.

Parents must be reasonably cautious, of course. My kids wear helmets when riding their bikes and seat belts in the car - neither or which I did as a child. They aren't allowed to have internet accounts that I don't know and have access to. The computers stay in the public areas of the house. The world marches forward and we march with it. I won't stop my kids from accessing the internet, but I'll set reasonable limits.

To the OP: You're the parent, and with that you have the obligation and the right to decide what's right for your kids. My question would be, what lesson are you teaching if you post their pics on the forum, and what lesson are you teaching if you choose not to?

There is a risk:

- A creep might be looking at the boards when your post was on the top page
- He (it's likely a "he", right?) might take particular notice of your children;
- He might have the inclination and ability to make it to your small corner of the world;
- Once there he might be able to track down your children.

That risk is real. It's probably also incredibly small. Again, only you can know what you think is best as a parent, and I would respect any decision you make. I, however, would be inclined to think the world is mostly full of good people and act on that. I would then make sure I'd taken appropriate precautions, eg. don't put your home address on the post.

Dewitt Jones, a great photographer, once said he loved working for National Geographic because they sent him out to photograph "What's right with the world." The 24 hour news cycle focuses on what's wrong with the world because that sells. In most of our lives, however, in the parts of the world where we're luckyto not struggle for our daily existence, we rarely encounter the horrific events we watch all day on TV or read on line.

That's a really long-winded way of saying I'd post pics of my kids. In proof, two of the things I cherish most in the world:


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rdsmith3
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May 06, 2008 15:35 |  #11

This is an interesting topic. It is really great to see that you are concerned as a parent and that you want to protect your kids. I have similar concerns, but I eventually decided that it is OK to post pictures, with appropriate precautions. You may reach a different decision as to what is right for you and your family.

Two things that helped me in my decision:

1) Most of the pictures I post are of my little guy, and he does not use the internet or IM.

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2) The disturbing reality, at least in the US, is that the biggest threat to children is people they know, not strangers. You have to be more careful of Uncle Ernie than a distant, unknown pedophile who might see the pictures on the internet.

I saw this just yesterday -- I believe it is from the web site The Skeptic

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, in a given year there are about 88,000 documented cases of sexual abuse among juveniles. In the roughly 17,500 cases involving children between ages 6 and 11, strangers are the perpetrators just 5 percent of the time -- and just 3 percent of the time when the victim is under age 6. (Further, more than a third of such molesters are themselves juveniles, who may not be true "predators" so much as confused or unruly teens.) Overall, the odds that one of America's 48 million children under age 12 will encounter an adult pedophile at the local park are startlingly remote. The Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute puts it like so: "Right now, 90 percent of our efforts go toward protecting our children from strangers, when what we need to do is to focus 90 percent of our efforts toward protecting children from the abusers who are not strangers." That's a diplomatic way of phrasing the uncomfortable but factually supported truth: that if your child is not molested in your own home -- by you, your significant other, or someone else you invited in -- chances are your child will never be molested anywhere. Media coverage has precisely inverted both the reality and the risk of child sexual assault. Along the way, it has also inverted the gender of the most tragic victims: Despite the unending parade of young female faces on TV, boys are more likely than girls to be killed in the course of such abuse.


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steveathome
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May 06, 2008 15:47 |  #12

philthejuggler wrote in post #5471203 (external link)
Hi all,

I often want to put examples of my work on various forums on POTN, but a lot of it is pictures of my kids.

Does anyone perceive any danger of posting pictures of their kids here, or am I being super-paranoid?

I'm not sure what I'm afraid of - that some predatory pedo will see a picture of my kids & then hunt them down or something.

Just interested in others thoughts,

Thanks

Phil


Hi Phil,
I understand and appreciate your concerns.

However, I have posted endless images of my Grandson on here and other forums, I don't feel I am putting him at any risk.

Having said that I don't advertise my exact location, and neither do I list my equipment, just in case. (personally I really don't understand why anyone would like to advertise what gear they have - thats just me)

Its a sad world we live in, when we have to worry about such evil people, but it would be a far sadder world if we let them win and it stopped us posting images at all.

Regards
Steve




  
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echo
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May 06, 2008 15:52 |  #13

Phil, I post ours. I think you're in N'hampton, from comments you've made on the forums so I guess most people with evil intent could work that out. So if an evil slime ball had any intent they'd have a hard job tracking down a nipper that they saw on here in a town with more than 300,000 people. I really don't think that posting the kids snaps is an issue but I hope I'm right!

Society is getting wierd these days. I took our 3 yr old to the swing park the other day and I felt very uncomfortable being the only bloke there. At our 4 yr old's Nativity last year I didn't bother taking the camera in case it got the wrong reaction, that's how things are now. That said, virtually everyone else was snapping away on their mobile phone etc.

The media hype things so much that we get paranoid. One thing that I try to do is make sure that if I take pics of the kids I try to ensure any others in the frame are blurred out by choosing a lower f/stop.


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May 06, 2008 15:56 |  #14

Any threat isn't non-existent, but it is absurdly small.


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steveathome
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May 06, 2008 15:58 |  #15

echo wrote in post #5473038 (external link)
Society is getting wierd these days. I took our 3 yr old to the swing park the other day and I felt very uncomfortable being the only bloke there. At our 4 yr old's Nativity last year I didn't bother taking the camera in case it got the wrong reaction, that's how things are now. That said, virtually everyone else was snapping away on their mobile phone etc.

It almost makes you feel guilty to do what should be so natural - record moments in time.

My Mother was a keen photographer, and this paranoia would never have entered her head when I was a kid.

Edit: Todays world also make me a little paranoid when I take my camera out, hence it doesn't go out as much as it should.




  
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