Where I'm from, we don't have a lot of $100,000+ weddings. Everyone is looking for someone good but affordable. When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we couldn't afford what the "pros" around here were charging... on average about $3000. That included an album and maybe some 8x10s.... but it wasn't worth the money. I was working at a JC Penney studio, and asked one of the gals I worked with if she would come and just get some pictures... I paid her $50, and she used my camera.
So when I went pro and started doing weddings, I would pretty much just make a deal with people. I would ask them what the budget was like, how many guests they were expecting, and how many people besides them might purchase pictures. And I kinda based my pricing on that.
But I realized I couldn't just keep hounding people for info before I gave them a price. Since I didn't have prices on my site, I didn't get a lot of interest. So I decided to be reasonable. Photography is one of the most expensive aspects of a wedding. No one wants to begin their new life together in debt.... So, for wedding photography ONLY I charge roughly $250, plus an additional $50 retainer fee. They get $100 in prints for free, and I only charge about $7 for an 8x10. If they want engagement and bridal portraits, then we're talking $350-$450, but with a bigger discount on prints and lower print prices. I let them make payments over time, but the package must be paid in full 15 days before the event, or I don't come. I give them 60 days to place an order, and I require that they let me place cards on the reception tables so their guests can order pictures too. I still end up making between $1500 - $3000 per wedding in the end. I don't charge by the hour, or have a set amount of hours I'm there like some, and that's one thing that makes my brides very happy.
If you're just starting, I wouldn't be a stickler on other people taking snapshots of the posed pictures you do. If yours don't turn out, then maybe someone else's will, and the bride won't be super angry. But once you get the feel for things, then you need to be stern with people trying to snag a shot. That will hurt your sales in the end. If someone tries that at my weddings, I tell them nicely that the prints are for sale at a very reasonable price, and they are more than welcome to purchase some. If they won't stop, I tell the bride and groom (in front of the wannabe) that their discount is no longer valid. They know that might happen, I tell them that at the consultation. Normally I don't mean it, it's just to get them to tell the person to STOP! And if that doesn't work, I pack up my stuff and leave. I've done that before, and the bride apologized to me! I gave her every picture on a disc, and still made a few sales from some family members that couldn't make it or didn't have a decent camera with them. A lot of people see the photographer, and think that the couple paid thousands of dollars for the person to be there, so they think that if they take some pictures of the posed stuff over the photographer's shoulder, they can help the couple save some money in the long run. But when you write out your contract, make sure there's a part in there about other photographers...
A lot of people will tell you to figure out what your time is worth to you. I agree with that, but you also need to consider your location and the income level of the majority of the surrounding population. If you're going to just do weddings, then you don't have a lot of overhead if you own your equipment and don't have a studio you have to pay rent on. Consider all the things that go into the event, and base your price on that. There is nothing wrong with setting a price and then changing it later.