To answer your generic question the basics one should follow are:
- Have an apeture in mind first for the DOF and bokeh you desire
- Choose a shutter that is greater than the focal length of your lens AND that can stop your subject's motion (assuming no tripod)
- Choose the ISO that allows you to use the aperture and shutter chosen.
- Tweak shutter or ISO to get the histogram right.
FOR FLASH
* Do the NO FLASH routine written above.
* Speed up your shutter by one stop so that ambient light does not dominate the photo.
* Point your on-camera flash in the direction you want light to come from.
* If the histogram does not look right change the power of the flash until it does.