Sounds very professional. Your hourly rate comment confuses me a little though.
I think it needs to be clearer.
Split your hourly rate from your license fee, and don't discount one if they go with the other.
Also, make the distinction clear. Stuff like "per image licensed", etc.
Finally, how much do you want this work, how much leverage do you have (experience, credentials, etc.), and how well did you gauge their expectations from the phone call?
Even though I have a photography business, I don't have experience in commercial shooting, and I know for sure I'd price my first few sessions accordingly.
Just my thoughts

Oh BTW, you can spin the "just starting out" thing positively ... (I'm assuming it's true, I could be wrong, if so ignore me) ... i.e.
"The commercial side of my business is still relatively new, so while I'd ordinarily charge a more significant fee for usage, I'm happy to give you a 12-month license to use the images as you please for $XXXX. After 12 months we'd need to revisit your license arrangement."
Thanks guys. The work kinda came from an image of mine that was thrown around without me knowing and it fell into their hands, so they rang me straight away and wanted to get me out to do some more shots. It's pretty exciting for me as it's my first time at all of this! So thank you all for your help!
Man - a 12 month supply of XXXX - only a Queenslander could be really happy with that...

Haha yeah there is no way that I'd get excited over that beer.. oh I mean rubbish :P





