The "flowing look" is purely a matter of shutter speed, the slower the shutter, the more blended and flowing the water.
Exposure is a combination of shutter speed, aperture, and ISO. For the greatest "flowing" or smoothing effect, you want the the lowest ISO and the smallest practical aperture, allowing proper exposure with a very slow shutter speed. Only if you cannot get the smoothing you wish with that combination will you need an ND filter to reduce the amount of light.
Or, you could simply wait for dusk. Things like waterfalls keep running after sunset and before dawn.
For an interesting variation, you might try a combination of fast and slow exposures. This would entail a slow shutter speed to capture the smoothing effect, plus a suitable fill flash to capture the momentary effect. You would need a good flash at a suitable distance, so the entire waterfall is substantially equally illuminated. A 580EX with a Better Beamer does a nice job.