Bears do NOT like the sound of Velcro®

Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Gatlinburg, TN

So there was this bear and an idiot with a camera and it was raining. So this idiot parks his car, puts a rain coat on his camera, climbs up this 20-foot slope to a hiking trail, and walks along the trail until he sees this bear. The idiot shoots at the wrong speed and the camera goes CLICK CLICK. At which point the bear turns, faces the idiot, and makes a lunging motion while doing a harumphing woof.

The idiot runs down the slope hitting every tree on the way down. Black bear and an idiot with black hair, black shirt, and black jeans. If the bear were myopic the idiot would be dead.

So the idiot waits a while, notices the bear has climbed a tree and goes back to take another shot.

At one point, the idiot runs out of space because he's shooting RAW + Superfine JPEG that even a 2-Gig card can't swallow. The idiot deletes some test shots from earlier and shoots some more as the babies come down the tree.

So this raincoat for the camera. It has a clear display on the top but it's covered by a flap. The idiot wants to see how many shots are left on the card. He tears the flap back and ...

..the Velcro® goes "KKKRRRRRRRSSSSSHHHHHH​HHTTTTT!"

Momma looks at the idiot and says "We've had this conversation already. Go. Now." The idiot slowly slides down the hill and leaves.

Gear: 5D, 70-200 f/2.8, 2X Extender, Aqua Tech Sport Shield Rain Cover
Brains: Sadly absent

Images are not cropped.

1/60 second, f/9.0, 385mm, ISO 3200

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The first shot I took. Wrong shutter speed. Wrong place. Wrong time.

1/3 second, f/5.6, 280mm, ISO 640

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Nice story idiot......I mean Bill. hjs

hjs wrote in post #5910052
Nice story idiot......I mean Bill. hjs

Bill..be beary careful!

What an idiot!!!!!!:p

I like that first shot.

So how did your undershorts make it out of this escapade? lol

What a day!

I think I am gonna give you a C on Photography (though I like the realism of the would-be story "Man mauled in TN by Black Bear" of the last photo).

You did get an +A for Story though. That's one you'll get to tell for years. "Grandpa's gonna tell you about why Bears don't like Velcro now.."

Thanks for sharing.

PhotoJourno wrote in post #5910486
What a day!

I think I am gonna give you a C on Photography (though I like the realism of the would-be story "Man mauled in TN by Black Bear" of the last photo).

You did get an +A for Story though. That's one you'll get to tell for years. "Grandpa's gonna tell you about why Bears don't like Velcro now.."

Thanks for sharing.

I have to agree that the photos are not top quality. I'm not a nature photog. This was the best I could do on a rainy day shooting through the brush. I was thoroughly soaked within a few minutes of standing there looking up at momma bear and her cubs.

I was talking with someone who asked about my equipment. I mentioned that I do have a flash that can put the light right in there but having been chased out once, I'd be a damned fool to do that.

While my Aqua Tech Sport gear does have a covering for my flash, I'm not sure how my Better Beamer could be attached. I'm sure it would have taken a liberal amount of Velcro®. My presence here today is testimony to my NOT having taken that approach with bears.

Kittygraphix wrote in post #5910481
So how did your undershorts make it out of this escapade? lol

Soaked from the rain. Nothing more.

However, my stomach was in a knot. I didn't realize how much adrenaline was pumping through my system until I was in the truck and shaking while going over my gear with some dry towels.

PEOPLE, THIS WAS A STUPID STUPID THING TO DO.

When we first saw the bear, she was about 15-20 feet above the roadway walking along a ridge. She paid us no mind as she foraged about for food. I think she viewed the roads as a non-threatening area of gibbering fools. With more than a dozen people below her, she only paid attention to the IDIOT who dared to climb up the ridge.

Still, I do like the shots. Even the OOF one. It has a "Last Photo Found On Dead Man's Camera" look to it. Felt a bit like it too.

Boy does this story put a smile on my face .......LOL That's funny, but I'm sure you didn't think so at the time. Great captures and great story.


Sharon

agreed. This was no fat grizzly. A black bear on its own backyard can gain speed at incredible rates, and make anyone a lunchable. Specially if one starts thinking rain, leaves on the ground, slipperiness factor...

We all bound to be enthusiastic past common sense every once in a while. Last time I was on a runway capturing a freshly landed airliner for a press assignment, when I could see through the 16-35 the pilot waving me off. I had been wondering why the thing had stopped moving. Well, turns out I was coming up about four feet from the intake of the turbofan, now only 25 yards away. What I am trying to say, is yes, somebody felt stupid that day.

Congrats again on some succesfull bear shots (first one I do like quite a bit).

I'm glad to see that you and your undershorts made it out safely to tell your tail

Did the wife slap you on the back of the head and ask "What the hell, Bill! You not at Audubon!!!!!" tehehe

PhotoJourno wrote in post #5910725
agreed. This was no fat grizzly. A black bear on its own backyard can gain speed at incredible rates, and make anyone a lunchable. Specially if one starts thinking rain, leaves on the ground, slipperiness factor...

We all bound to be enthusiastic past common sense every once in a while. Last time I was on a runway capturing a freshly landed airliner for a press assignment, when I could see through the 16-35 the pilot waving me off. I had been wondering why the thing had stopped moving. Well, turns out I was coming up about four feet from the intake of the turbofan, now only 25 yards away. What I am trying to say, is yes, somebody felt stupid that day.

Congrats again on some succesfull bear shots (first one I do like quite a bit).

I wanna see those!!!!!!

Ummmmmm.....Yikes! Oh, and you are completely nuts!

Kittygraphix wrote in post #5910734
I'm glad to see that you and your undershorts made it out safely to tell your tail

Did the wife slap you on the back of the head and ask "What the hell, Bill! You not at Audubon!!!!!" tehehe

My wife was in the car with the children. After I left the second time, she grabbed the camcorder and told the children "I'm going to capture the last footage of your father. We'll play it at his funeral."

The second time I went back (giving the first two photos I posted above) I was up on the ridge shooting the bear in the tree. Down below me, I could see my wife, two of my girls (teens), and more than a dozen people. My wife was down there giving information to motorists as if she were some sort of tour guide. "There's a black bear up in the tree. She has two cubs up there with her. Mothers will often keep their children up in trees if they sense any sort of danger. Yes, that's my idiot husband up there on the ridge."