What would you do....

A friend of mine is going to Hawaii for a small wedding. They will have a large reception at home when they return.

She has asked me to shoot the reception because she knows I'll probably be shooting anyway since I like to do that.

I don't really want to be the responsible photographer at the reception. Yes, I'll shoot some images, but I really just want to be a guest and capture whatever happens to strike me.

So... am I being selfish by not wanting to shoot it... I have no wedding experience anyway... and I offered to take her somewhere scenic to do some bridal portraits.. which is more my speed....

I don't know how to tell her that I'd rather not be the hired photog...

Is there something wrong with the way I'm thinking/feeling about this?

Kristy,

1) As your friend she deserves nothing less than complete honesty from you.
2) As her friend, she should respect both your opinion and your wishes.

Tough situation but I'm sure you'll work it out...

no, i dont think you're selfish ..

as flyingphotog said .. as a friend, you should be honest with her and tell her that wedding is not what you do and you would rather be a guest and capture things that would strike you and then you can offer her those pictures as the pro's may not have ..

I would just explain that you'd rather be a guest than the photographer. Let's just hope that you'll be invited as a guest after you tell her that. Hahah.

Good call. no you are not being selfish. I would suggest maybe re-emphasize that you will be glad to shoot some bridals somewhere, but when you are working a party you really can't get to enjoy it. (this I know from experience!) I am sure that your friend will understand.

Be completely honest.

For something like this, personally, I'd tell them that I leave the big camera home when I'm not working. By not bringing the camera, it eliminates any sort of possibility or chance for disappointment (aww, I wish Kristy would have gotten a photo of this, or of that).

Something like this happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

I'm not a professional photographer, but I've done some weddings as second photographer, but I still need to learn a lot more. Well, my friend sent me an invitation for her wedding, but a couple of weeks later she asked me to shoot the ceremony and reception. I told her that I'd rather to be a guest and not "the camera guy." She understood and there were no problems at all. But since she was not planning to hire a photographer I told her I could bring my camera and shoot the ceremony, and part of the reception, but not as the official photographer, but like a friend who happens to have a camera.

Luckily, everything was great, took some pictures and enjoyed the party.

Mario. wrote in post #5976139
Be completely honest.

For something like this, personally, I'd tell them that I leave the big camera home when I'm not working. By not bringing the camera, it eliminates any sort of possibility or chance for disappointment (aww, I wish Kristy would have gotten a photo of this, or of that).

+1. I think how you feel is fine and understandable. But, if you tell her no, then leave your camera at home.

Let yourself off the hook by having her barter with me. Coverage for a trip to HI.

Explain to her that this is a once in a lifetime experience for her (well...usually it is) and you aren't experienced in this particular "genre", and that even though you agree to take some pics, that you would feel more comfortable if she hired a pro.

Does she want you to take pics to save some money? If that is the case, I guess that adds another layer to this whole thing...

I would just be honest with her. Assuming she is a good friend, she won't be offended by it.

I have no qualms about going to a wedding as a guest, BEING a guest yet taking photos when I feel like it and when I have finished eating or finished dancing some dances. But if I am HIRED, I will not pretend to be a guest, I am the hired help. And I will work, very hard, for anything that I charge as fee charged by the hired help, and I will not be a true 'guest' of the party while I am working.
So tell your friend that exactly...she has to make a choice, to invite you as a guest OR to hire you as the hired help, not in a vague in-between status.

Really? Go to Hawaii and leave the camera at home?

If I ever go to Hawaii and don't bring the biggest, baddest camera I have, please have my head examined.

...go to the wedding and leave the camera in the safe in the room!

lhoney2 wrote in post #5977741
Really? Go to Hawaii and leave the camera at home?

If I ever go to Hawaii and don't bring the biggest, baddest camera I have, please have my head examined.

Realized that you didn't quote me, but I think you're intelligent enough to realize what people are saying.

Hey guys... Busy day today..

Thanks for the great advice and responses. Sometimes a gal just needs a little justification. I'm terrible at saying "no"... I hate to disappoint people, so you all made me feel better about not wanting to do it.

I can take some amazing portraits on location for her.. just not the event coverage... is my thinking.

I'm not going to the wedding in hawaii... and the reception will be on the mainland a couple of weeks afterwards. They live near the beach, so I'm thinking about beautiful ocean bridal shots.. we won't have to worry about the dress since the wedding will already have gone by.

Anyway, you all pretty much spoke my mind.. and IF I was going to Hawaii. you bet I'd be bringing all my gear and taking an extra few days for myself.

CDI... I'll let you pick up the slack in Hawaii. I have to work my regular job.