I believe the catch light is dependent on light distance from subject and size, yes. I think the intensity of the catch light is also dependent on the power of the source. One more thing to note: After seeing lots of magazines with professional photos, I no longer subscribe to the theory that the best place for a catch light is always 11 or 1-o-clock, and there should always be only one. Many great photos are taken with multiple catch lights, or lights from angles other than the "ideal."
As it seems to me, to achieve even lighting with a soft box, a good rule of thumb would be to make sure the softbox is just about as tall as the area of the subject in your frame in order to have the most even lighting on the subject. The same would probably apply to other diffusers, but I don't know how a full-body umbrella would work.
I think you're probably less likely to get hot spots from a soft box; it seems to produce more even lighting.
Lots of professional portrait photographers like softboxes for control and softness of light, and I'm inclined to believe that I would also prefer softboxes...if I had any of a reasonable size. The huge one I have puts out a swath of soft light that does a really nice job on a headshot or probably even full body photos, but it's extremely unwieldy and I wish I had smaller ones. If I want the absolute best quality light I will probably use it for my main; otherwise I use shoot thru umbrellas very often and they do a very nice job. Not quite as softening to a more character-laden face, but I can do some of that in photoshop.
Worth noting is that I don't have a set studio, and I'm fully mobile. Umbrellas are much faster and more convenient for me.
An as-yet unedited photo using 4 lights: two in front butterfly style white shoot-thru umbrella setup w/upper 2 stops higher power than lower, 1 hair light thru corrugated plastic grid, and one light with blue gel against thunder grey background paper. Lights on subject were all Sunpak 383S, light on bg was speedlite 580.
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