Light painting...C&C please

I just FINALLY figured out how to manually fire my 580EX II, so naturally, I tried it out in the house. I should also mention, I figured out how to trigger the flashes by blinding my brother, who was not too happy with me.
Anyway, I know it needs to be fine-tuned, which is what I'm going to try later tonight. Heres the first attempts.

1. No flash

Seems to have worked! I can see why your brother wasn't happy.

Flash seems to be working well, looks like you had it dialed in pretty well. I would like a slightly modified version of the first better as it represents to me real world today better, at least in my house. The tough part of flash is to illuminate the subject without taking away the mood. What your nicely and evenly lit doesn't have is mood. It's like the ultra perfectly done snap shot... if that makes sense.

Not really what I expected to see with the title "Light painting"

http://en.wikipedia.or​g/wiki/Light_painting

On the birghtside (pun intended), your flash is working as designed.