puddlepirate44 wrote in post #6708278
Crissa's speech (Gee, I hope I'm not too late)
Good evening, fellow carbon based bipeds.
It brings me great joy to stand here before such an august assembly on this, Saint Ralphie's Day, the Patron Saint of anchor chains and artichoke hearts.
We have before us an incredible opportunity. Much like the opportunity of my Uncle's getting Asia during last week's game of Risk or the much bally-hoo'd opportunity of 1891 wherein Sir Glandanate the Wet stood before the warriors of the Broom Closet Five in the Battle of the Great Sweeps.
The Future beckons us to stand, clothed in stiff cotton fibers, and rally to the call. The Future sings that Siren Song of Glory, and not like that recent rendition of Glory that was done by that Swiss boy band, "Snowy Hat" but by the original 1964 group. Can you hear it? Are you listening to the song? Can you feel the strings of your heart being tugged? Not too much, because that might be medically inadvisable, but just a little tug?
It's up to us to step forward, claim our destiny and plant that great big nylon flag of our joy into the gritty, shell infused sand of Next.
Our time has come. Right..... now. Right, now. Now. Right... OK, 3,2, 1.... Now. Reach forward, my friends and seize that fleeting chance to make our mark on the tree bark of tomorrow.
We are the people that will answer those questions. Like, If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we get a smoke detector that can tell the difference between a burning house and burnt toast? OR Why can't we harness the incredible heat energy of the center of a Hot Pocket and supply the energy for large cities?
We are the ones that can pave the way for the enlightened populace. And for the ones that are endimmed, we can make a little frontage road; slightly scenic, but in no way as efficient.
For the love of Metric spanners and cross dressing Canadian polar bears, we MUST continue on. There is the moral imperative to see this to the end. The Cause is right and honorable. And with your help, we can get this done. Well, your help and some tasty pretzel bits. And some beer. OK, lots of beer we can get this done.
Every morning, when I begin my Spork Yoga class, I thank each and every one of you for your willingness to forgo shark skin thong underwear and Cream of Broccoli Pop Tarts so that we may be a part of the Bright and Shining Future.
Thank you. God bless you and Go Beavs.
