Is this one better? (More Hillary Content)

So, the first one had too much spill from the hair light, and she was too square to the camera.
Is this one better?
There is still some spill on her cheek, but it's not on her collar bone like it was. But is it a little hot on the hair now?
Tips?

#1

for me, there's just a hint of her shirt, so a bit more light on her chest might help. The pose is better on #1, but #2 just doesn't do it for me. Still a bit too square and looks football shoulder-ish.

like both..#1 the best

Just a touch too hot on the hair, but you did better this time! I like the posing a lot better, if you take a look at the previous shots you did, you shot her straight on which made her face look a little bit too big, and it wasn't that flattering for her figure. But when you did the new pose, it made her face a lot slimmer and helped added a more appealing look for her. Additionally, what lens are you using? You'll want to use a longer focal length for portraits, as it prevents the wide angle look for faces (it makes faces more distorted/wider/bigger​). 100mm or so is perfect for portraits.

I rather like what you did with her shirt, much better separation from the background this time around. However, for number two, it looks like you chopped off her head. You need to be a bit careful when you do negative space shots, centering things tend to make it boring. What you want to try to do is make the viewer lead to your subject by using the negative space as a sort of a leading line, aka rule of thirds. I'll post an example when I find my "negative space" shot.

Maybe dial down the hair light about a half a stop, and see what you get

Here are a couple of examples that I think you might be able to draw from. They're not exactly the same as what you got in there, but here it is!

Ah! Good Idea. Thanks.
I'm usually focusing too hard on 'centering' the shot that I end up taking mainly centered shots instead of exploring the other thirds of the frame.
I think the hair light is hot on the first one, but just right on the second, eh?

I added some more to my previous posts, Sam!

And yes, your hairlight is much better on the second shot. You're getting there! We should get together sometime and shoot, you can always ask hillary to model for you . She's lovely, btw!

These were all done in the same day. I tried different powers on the hair light and the shoot-through. I ended up shooting manual because ETTL was not cooperating or being consistent.
These were for a friends salon who is making advertisement flyers regarding new additions to his staff.

S-Man wrote in post #6759074
These were all done in the same day. I tried different powers on the hair light and the shoot-through. I ended up shooting manual because ETTL was not cooperating or being consistent.
These were for a friends salon who is making advertisement flyers regarding new additions to his staff.

Do you have a light meter? It helps a bit with reducing guesswork. A good light meter really is indispensable when you need to make sure you got accurate light.

Heh, no, no light meter here. I'm still an amateur...