A friend of mine and I were sitting around and thinking about the worst job we had in our lives. I thought this would be a fun thread.
Here is my story:
My worst job story? I was in college - end of freshman year - and on summer break. So I go back home to New York and work at Newmark & Lewis, a stereo and tv retail store in Queens. I was there for 2 weeks until I got fired for trying to install a car stereo in a customer's car by punching out a 12" diameter hole in the front door with a hammer and flat head screwdriver to install a flush mount speaker, only to find a steel beam behind the now gaping 12" hole in his now not-so-new Ford Explorer. But that is not the story (but it should be).
The real story is the next job I took after I was fired, which was a lifeguard at the IBM Country Club in Port Washington, NY. There was this stinky bay where the wives of the suit and tie execs at IBM could swim and my buddy told me to apply because there was an opening. So I apply only to find out I need a bay lifeguard card. So, I sign up at the local red cross to take this lifeguard test, but I show up hungover after partying the night previous. I need to swim 40 laps in this ice cold pool and then immediately thereafter swim down to the bottom of the deep end to get this rubber coated cinder block and put it on the pool ledge. So I swim half the laps by the time everyone else got their bricks, and now the entire pool staff and other cinder block diving losers are cheering me on, and after I swim the laps, I can't breathe let alone get the stupid cinder block. They tell me I will fail if I don't get the damn brick. And I have no job now by the way so i have no choice. So i swim down and drink the pool the entire way, grab the cinder block which by this time weighs 400 pounds, bring it up, slam it on the pool ledge after trying 5 times to get it out of the water, get out of the pool, and throw up all over the pool deck in front of everyone. But that is not the story either (but it should be).
I get the lifeguard card, get hired at IBM, and start working. We have one guest the entire summer and all we do is sit there and listen to music. So one day we get to work and all these dead fish wash up on shore. I mean HUNDREDS of dead fish. It later makes the news and its called a Pfisteria outbreak. Some kind of fish disease, no doubt caused by the fish swimming in that stinky bay. So, some IBM suit comes down from the country club offices with a huge carton of heafty bags (like 24 full boxes of heafty bags in that carton with 50 individual bags in each box) and tells us to bag all the dead fish. We say no, its not in our job contract. He says "listen ***** - ers, you both sit here making $12.00 an hour and do **** all day, you will bag all these dead fish and take them to the dumpster or you are both fired".
So, my brain child retarded partner decides he is going to dig a hole in the sand and bury all the fish instead of baging the dead fish corpses. I tell him no, and he tells me to [Insert another choice word here] myself. So, we literally draw a line in the sand to divide the beach in half, and i tell him he can do whatever he wants on his side of the beach but i am bagging my fish. So, he digs the damn hole and buries his fish, and he is done in 2 hours. i bag all my fish, and drag over 30 hefty bags of dead fish to the dumpster which is like 4 miles away - or so it seemed. It takes me all day. That afternoon, IBM suit guy comes down and thanks us and leaves. My partner gives me the business the rest of the shift and laughs at me. But that is not the story either (but it should be).
So, like 3 days later, we get to work and there is this AWFUL stench at the beach that makes us want to puke. The IBM suit guy comes down and tells us he has no idea what it is, but he is going to call the health department and he is going to close the beach. This of course means we lose our jobs because we will not be needed. So numbnutz tells the suit that he buried his fish and that is causing the smell. So the suit is VERY pissed off and tells us to dig them all up and bag the rotting corpses. My buddy now asks me for help and i proceed to sit there all day and watch him bag half-rotted fish while i sit in the sun enjoying my cold beverage trying not to throw up from the smell.
So, that in closing was my summer of worst jobs.
Can anyone beat that experience?
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