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FORUMS Photography Talk by Genre General Photography Talk 
Thread started 10 Dec 2008 (Wednesday) 14:17
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Accused of being a paedophile!!!

 
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tiziano
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Dec 12, 2008 14:11 |  #301

Wilt wrote in post #6865533 (external link)
if you were out in the woods photographing a bear cub while you were having lunch, and then the defensive mother comes charging out of the trees in your direction, that is the right time to scramble up the neaby rocky cliff to avoid the angry mother, rather that to defend your right to have lunch in your picnic spot and photograph the cub! :D

Very good analogy!


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InsaneSkippy
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Dec 12, 2008 14:15 |  #302

cdifoto wrote in post #6865112 (external link)
Chicks dig scars anyway, so no problems there.

They certainly won't if they are scars from getting beaten up by an irate mother who was accusing you of being a pedobear:-P

It kinda loses the whole "tough guy" thing at that point.


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cdifoto
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Dec 12, 2008 14:17 |  #303

InsaneSkippy wrote in post #6865661 (external link)
They certainly won't if they are scars from getting beaten up by an irate mother who was accusing you of being a pedobear:-P

It kinda loses the whole "tough guy" thing at that point.

I got a scar on my forehead in a barfight when I was 6. You should see the other guy. Unfortunately it takes a court order to exhume a corpse.

I'm sure I could come up with something similar for the soccer mom sucker punches.


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Dec 12, 2008 14:20 |  #304

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #6864885 (external link)
Who reccommended "pull a gun?"

I didn't say that, but when I read it I was thinking of a tranquilizer gun.

;)


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Croasdail
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Dec 12, 2008 14:49 |  #305

I do have to agree with the OP on this one, it is really easy to think logically behind your desk without someone yelling in your face. I would have moved to defuse first. How I wold have done that, who knows. But I can give you every assurance that it would not have included a law lecture about how I have the right to photograph her kids at will - even if I were completely in the right. It is not the place, time or the right conditions to have that discussion, nor would she have been receptive, no matter your verbal skills of persuasion.

To sit back here, and presume any of us could fully grasp the situation, and what we would have done, is silly. The media has scared the heck out of everyone in the UK. And to try to talk down a mama bear that her fears aren't justified... not a good battle to pick.

Those of you married I am sure have apologized for things you were not in the wrong for, because the bigger picture out weighs the individual battle. Getting defensive only makes you look more guilty. I wish I can say I would have dealt with the situation much differently and now the lady and I are best friends... who knows. But we can all learn from this and come up with our own strategies going forward so when this happens to you, and it will, ou know how you will deal with it. Thank heavens it wasn't their dad who had just perhaps had a few pints too many...

Don't think you know how you would have handled it... until you've been there, you don't know.




  
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cdifoto
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Dec 12, 2008 14:52 |  #306

Croasdail wrote in post #6865879 (external link)
I do have to agree with the OP on this one, it is really easy to think logically behind your desk without someone yelling in your face. I would have moved to defuse first. How I wold have done that, who knows. But I can give you every assurance that it would not have included a law lecture about how I have the right to photograph her kids at will - even if I were completely in the right. It is not the place, time or the right conditions to have that discussion, nor would she have been receptive, no matter your verbal skills of persuasion.

To sit back here, and presume any of us could fully grasp the situation, and what we would have done, is silly. The media has scared the heck out of everyone in the UK. And to try to talk down a mama bear that her fears aren't justified... not a good battle to pick.

Those of you married I am sure have apologized for things you were not in the wrong for, because the bigger picture out weighs the individual battle. Getting defensive only makes you look more guilty. I wish I can say I would have dealt with the situation much differently and now the lady and I are best friends... who knows. But we can all learn from this and come up with our own strategies going forward so when this happens to you, and it will, ou know how you will deal with it. Thank heavens it was their dad who had just perhaps had a few pints too many...

Don't think you know how you would have handled it... until you've been there, you don't know.

I DO know how I would handle it because I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, and I know how to do that without getting combative.

I deal with irrational people all the time. My sister is a mother and she has a helluva temper.


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Dec 12, 2008 14:53 |  #307

Mark - a very well-reasoned and well-expressed view. I couldn't agree more!




  
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Croasdail
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Dec 12, 2008 15:04 |  #308

CDI... not being afraid has nothing to do with winning or loosing. And what you don't know is how many other people were near by who might have been sympathetic to here claims and weren't about to take the time to find out if they were true or not. Being smart is a lot better then being brave. There are a lot of very brave yet dumb as rocks people who ended up in the obituary section of the paper.... who thought the fight they were picking was worth it. I doubt their families would agree. Not saying your not a smart dude CDI... I have every expectation you are. But being brave has absolutely nothing to do with winning. Sometimes the brave thing to do is to fall back to a position you know you can win from.




  
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cdifoto
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Dec 12, 2008 15:07 |  #309

Croasdail wrote in post #6865970 (external link)
CDI... not being afraid has nothing to do with winning or loosing. And what you don't know is how many other people were near by who might have been sympathetic to here claims and weren't about to take the time to find out if they were true or not. Being smart is a lot better then being brave. There are a lot of very brave yet dumb as rocks people who ended up in the obituary section of the paper.... who thought the fight they were picking was worth it. I doubt their families would agree. Not saying your not a smart dude CDI... I have every expectation you are. But being brave has absolutely nothing to do with winning. Sometimes the brave thing to do is to fall back to a position you know you can win from.

I never put it in terms of winning or losing.

My point is simply this:

If you make wreckless accusations as serous as this, and/or you assault me or try to assault me, you are not going to walk away scot-free.


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Croasdail
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Dec 12, 2008 15:10 |  #310

Complete side note.... CDI, saw your new wedding stuff you posted on your site..... pretty good. Not that I was surprise, but I was surprised. The way you used to talk about wedding budgets in your area, I thought everyone had picnic benches and a bucket of chicken. But you presented these events really nicely...

Back to the subject at hand.

Keeping your reputation in tact is a winning or loosing proposition to me. I agree with ya I would fight to keep it. Being labeled a pedophile is about as low as you can go. People would rather have a convicted murder next door than a pedophile. Not a label I would be very tolerant of, and would be ultimately going for a solid, no doubt win on that one.




  
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Jamie ­ Holladay
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Dec 12, 2008 15:10 |  #311

I think professionalize is a good way to handle it. give the nice lady a business card or perhaps a promo card. That way she sees you as a working photographer. She might calm down enough to have a reasonable conversation. Then you can explain in detail you are not breaking any laws or her trust for that matter. Just a thought.


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cdifoto
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Dec 12, 2008 15:11 |  #312

Croasdail wrote in post #6865998 (external link)
Complete side note.... CDI, saw your new wedding stuff you posted on your site..... pretty good. Not that I was surprise, but I was surprised. The way you used to talk about wedding budgets in your area, I thought everyone had picnic benches and a bucket of chicken. But you presented these events really nicely...

Back to the subject at hand.

Thanks Mark. Only one wedding was in my area though. It really is picnic benches and buckets of chicken around here. The high end weddings have a keg too though. :lol:


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Mystery ­ Machine
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Dec 12, 2008 15:18 |  #313

Jamie Holladay wrote in post #6866000 (external link)
I think professionalize is a good way to handle it. give the nice lady a business card or perhaps a promo card. That way she sees you as a working photographer. She might calm down enough to have a reasonable conversation. Then you can explain in detail you are not breaking any laws or her trust for that matter. Just a thought.

The problem for me here is that I do this as a hobby/for fun and I've only been doing it for a short while (photography that is, not upsetting Mum's! ;))

There are no promo cards, no business cards, just plain old me & my camera.

Mark <Croasdail> I think your comment (#305) pretty much sums the situation up ina very eloquent manner and you seem to have the closest understanding to where I am coming from and how I tried to act. Many thanks....


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cdifoto
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Dec 12, 2008 15:35 |  #314

You can get business cards on a personal level.

Your Name Photography
Phone
Email


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Jimconnerphoto
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Dec 12, 2008 16:06 |  #315

Can you get photography on a business card in the UK with out a license?
You can in the US but I know its not that way everywhere.


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