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Thread started 12 Jan 2009 (Monday) 13:47
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I'm stressed and my father thinks it's your fault.

 
cryforashadow
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Jan 12, 2009 13:47 |  #1

Okay, that's not really it, I shall explain.
I'm so stressed these days. I told my family about it. My hands shake and I'm 17. I told them it's because I feel like I'm not good enough. I play guitar, I play harmonica, I web design, I skate, and a lot of things and I'm not awesome at any of them and I suck at some of them. It's a really bad feeling.
I can't believe I'm saying these to total strangers but seriously. I've seen some of you complain about your wives and husbands. :lol:
So, my father knows that I go on photography forums and he told me that maybe it's because I see you people doing good job on photography [It was only an example, my stress is not about photography only but I love photography the most] and I feel stressed because I'm not as good as you although a lot of you are older than me and some of you make money out of it.
I just wanted to share my thoughts because I don't think me feeling bad has anything to do with this forum. I feel really good while I'm on here. But overall do you think internet might have anything to do with it? Has internet have bad effects on you?




  
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Woolburr
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Jan 12, 2009 13:59 |  #2

Wow...17 and not yet awesome...contrary to popular belief, there are damn few people that are born awesome...it typically takes a lot of hard work and practice just to become good, much less awesome.

17 is not a time to be stressed or to worry about being awesome. Take a deep breath and start worrying about something that really matters...your family, your friends and becoming a functional part of humanity. If you are destined for greatness in life, it will jump up and clobber you...if you aren't, make the best of what you are destined for and enjoy the ride.


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momalley
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Jan 12, 2009 14:01 |  #3

sounds like you're a "Jack of all trades, master of none" :)


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advaitin
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Jan 12, 2009 14:02 |  #4

If you mean, do I get jealous when I see better work than mine--you betcha! And that happens all the time.

Hey, you just keep shooting--or whatever--and people will appreciate it sooner or later.


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cryforashadow
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Jan 12, 2009 14:07 |  #5

Woolburr: I know it takes time and practice, that's why I feel stressed. I feel like I have to do something useful anytime.
momalley: Thanks for that! But yeah, I guess you're right.
advaitin: No, no, it's not about jealousy. I'm not jealous. I just feel like I should do something to get better and I'm not doing it.




  
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Jon
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Jan 12, 2009 14:10 |  #6

Maybe you just haven't started to focus yet. You're young, and all kinds of things seem exciting, but you haven't listed anything up there that I'd expect to be an instant expert in. Most of hte good photographers here, for instance, have been at it for years; using the camera is second nature so they can concentrate on the picture, not the technical stuff. It's not any different for a musician. They're not busy thinking about "how do I play this chord?", they're figuring out how to make it flow naturally into the next notes of the score. I did some web design back when Notepad was the way to go; I'm returning to it as my job's shifted again, and there's a whole lot more to deal with, between css, flash and web templates. But it's going to take work to get that back under control. You've got so many interests that you're just spreading yourself too thin. Figure out what one or two things you most want to get good at first, and concentrate on them. I'm not suggesting you drop everything else; just don't beat yourself over the head because you can't excel at everything all at once, especially if some of it is new to you.


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snyderman
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Jan 12, 2009 15:13 |  #7

I'll respond. You're a young guy, I have a son at home nearly your age and one in college. I'm here at this site because I'm new to DSLR photography and want to learn.

Here is the way I'm able to put into perspective this site and the incredibly awesome images people post:

  • I've been at this DSLR thing for a couple of months. I cannot expect to be anywhere near as good as those who have been at it for YEARS--and I'm ok with that.
  • I'll probably never be able to compete on a level playing field with a professional photographer. On the other side of the coin, he or she couldn't do my job very well either!
  • Like anything else, you get OUT of it what you put into it. Experience and gear speaking.
  • Actually, I'm better at this some some who (I'm pretty sure) have been at this much longer than I.
Really, it's about perspective. You say you are a musician? I play guitar as well. And much better than I use a camera ... for NOW, at least! First and foremost, music (and playing with others) is supposed to be fun. When playing guitar ceases to be 'fun,' it's time to move onto something else. Lord knows, you and I aren't going to get rich playing guitar. Or, at least for me, it would have happened a long time ago. I'm ok with that. Still enjoy my band, and playing gigs or I wouldn't play anymore.

Sounds like photography is a preferred area of focus for you. Keep reading, learning, asking questions, shooting, practicing and posting. Know how hard guitar is? DSLR photography might have more to think about than operating a strat, VOX amp and a board full of pedals all at the same time.

And don't lose site that you are 17 and can't know everything yet. Nobody EXPECTS you to know everything or be a certified expert photog or guitarist. But DO expect quality from yourself and don't settle for crap results. Measure your work regularly against what you consider be good quality here. Use this site as a measuring stick and look for ways to improve and work to get better.

Stuff like guitar playing and DSLR isn't a case of instantly you're good--both are lifelong journies from which you get out what you put in. Just so you know, I've been playing guitar for about 35 years now. I know there is more to learn than I have time left on this planet. And I'm completely 'ok' with that. One can never know all there is to know when it comes to something like playing guitar or photography.

Learn what you can. Apply what you've learned in a creative way. Share what you've done with others. Enjoy the experience along the way. By keeping a good perspective, it takes off some the pressure and keeps things like photography and music fun.

dave

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816_Studios_Inc
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Jan 12, 2009 16:50 as a reply to  @ snyderman's post |  #8

It's ok ... I suck at photography AND the guitar. Unless you count "guitar hero", then you can call me Mr. Hendrix.




  
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S.Horton
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Jan 12, 2009 16:58 |  #9

cryforashadow wrote in post #7060650 (external link)
Woolburr: I know it takes time and practice, that's why I feel stressed. I feel like I have to do something useful anytime.
momalley: Thanks for that! But yeah, I guess you're right.
advaitin: No, no, it's not about jealousy. I'm not jealous. I just feel like I should do something to get better and I'm not doing it.

There's the problem.

Listen to a song called Count to 10 by Tina Dico. Listen very closely. Life is a mystery, and when you relax the answers will come.

Then ponder this. Really bad motorcycle accidents happen when the rider should have applied the brakes instead of the throttle.

Slow down.

You're only 17.

This may seem hard, but try to realize that relaxing is a big part of life, too.

In other words, when you're relaxing, you are doing something.

At this time, if you're sure that you want to be a photographer for a living, start reading about entry requirements to the best universities teaching that today.

Then, set up an in-person interview with admissions. A phone interview may suffice, but it would be best to visit. Ask about what kinds of projects would be best to prepare with. Set up a list of projects, then a list of tasks to complete them, then check off tasks as they're done.

Beyond setting priorities and a plan, the only other advice I can give you is to become physically active. If you do nothing else, join a gym, start working out. That helps with everything.


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tstowe
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Jan 17, 2009 21:10 |  #10

have you tried hanging out with dumb people...you know, look good by comparison type thing?


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Ashyg
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Jan 18, 2009 07:17 |  #11

you feel like you're not good enough for who? for you or for others?

life's one big learning curve and you still have so much to learn.

If everyone were "perfect" photographers who all take fantastic photos all the time then there would be no reason for this website to exist as there would be nothing to critque. you will find that even photographers who do this professionally and have done so for a long time have times when they did not get that perfect shot. and when you do come across a shot that seems so much better than your work, you can probably count that it took that person many, many attempts and lots of practice to get the shot looking that good. reading the forum it may seem like everyones a professional photographer and take perfect photos each and every time but behind most of these great looking photos posted, i bet there are a lot of duds too.
also, did you take up photography to compete to get photos better than everyone else or take it up as a hobby? to me, photography is an art, its a way of expressing yourself to others, i dont see it as a competition to see who can get the best photo. you shoot how you like and if a photo makes you truly happy and is priceless and holds great memories, than who really cares what others think -- as much as constructive criticism is helpful.
and that applies to all your little hobbies you have going for yourself - guitar, harmonica, skating. it's just about having fun and enjoying life. the more you try to compete and become the best the less you will succeed and the more you will be unhappy. if you just do the things you love and not get so strung up about being awesome, and just enjoy what you're doing then maybe your skills will then begin to unfold. in other words, stop trying so hard to be awesome, enjoy what youre doing and let it come naturally.

and by all means, keep reading the forums to get tips to take better photos -- as i said before, it's all one big learning curve.


or you could just hang out with dumb people so you look better as tstowe has suggested :P


-- Ashley -- :)

  
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Earls1
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Jan 18, 2009 07:27 |  #12

I don't suggest the idea of hanging with dumb people. You tend to become like the people you associate with. Just look at this forum site. I believe that my photography has already improved.

When I was 17, (several years ago now I might ad), I went into the Marine Corps for basically the exact same feelings of the OP. I had no direction and was definitely not "awesome". It was the best thing I could've done and as a matter of fact, that is where I started to get into photography. It was the best hobby that I could take with me when I traveled. There is always a solution, just have patience.


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Marius ­ B
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Jan 18, 2009 07:47 |  #13

Hi Cryforashadow

I see myself very much in your post, I'm 32 and still has this feeling that you discribe. I've been a store manager since I was 21 and have worked 60-70 hours/week for years. Actually Photography is my new hobby so that I have something to think about an do besides work :) You probably set your standards way to high for your self.

Take a deep breath (it actually helps) suck in through your nose and keep it in for a few seconds a let it out slowly through mouth or nose. repeat it a couple of times, I promise you that you will feel better (short term) For the long run, you must learn to lower your standards. For me it helps to take a walk or do a workout. And if you are able too sleep or relax, take a weekend where you decide to do nothing, and stick with it. Troubles you at first, but afterwords you will feel better.

It also helps focusing on your friends and family, the more time you spend with other people, the more time you think about them (good & bad) instead of stressing yourself about you ;) Sitting by yourself in front of a computer gives you to much time to think about yourself without anybody to break in. Maybe your father isnt that wrong afterall.


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