Tough Love. You Up To The Task?

I saw a program on driving instruction once that had the students driving through a suburban area and had a site set up to swing a polystyrene mannequin dressed as a young child into the paths of the cars. Almost every student hit one and doing so was a lesson they'd never forget.

The concept of why there are speed limits are imposed at all is a good thing to be teaching.

(and my eldest is 2 1/2 so I've got all this to look forward to!)

Mark,

I managed to get three good kids past the age of 17 and on into adulthood. We had our share of speeding tickets and fender benders. Grounding does work.

Your tough love is spot on! Don't give in...the lesson she learns from this just may well save her life.

One month on the bus is not that harsh of a punishment, Mark. I mean, she still gets a ride to school and work that way. If she had to walk 5 miles, uphill in 4 feet of snow in -32 degree weather, then I might say you were being a tad hard on the girl.

Give her a month without the car and a warning that 3rd infraction means the car is being sold and she is on her own. If you stick to the month without the car keys she will then believe the future threat and it will most likely keep her on the straight and narrow and she will have shaved the lead off her right foot.

Mark, first you should be glad that the all you have to worry about is her speeding. There are so many other things a Teenager can do to get in trouble


When I was 17 I drove like a complete idiot, to be honest I don't entirly know how I survived as I often drove up to, and past the limit, and even ended up in the odd ditch as a result.

What slowed me down though was similar to what LBaldwin outlined below:

A defensive driving course that outlined hazard awareness and pointed out that you share the road with other people, who all use it in different ways.

A track day with experianced instructors.
It was a practical experiance of emergancy stopping, swerving, hazard avoidance etc. As well as free laps of the track that gave a very good indication of just what happens when you do lose control (I made good use of the run off areas ).

Actually having an accident.
Ironically while I was traveling at the speed limit, someone else ran into my car. It was completely destroyed, and I have a permanant neck and shoulder injury as a result.
If I had been speeding it could have been much, much worse, and if I had been really paying attention, and traveled below the speed limit with the rest of the traffic, I would have avoided the accident altogether.


Rather than saying "These are the rules, follow them".
I was taught "Here are the reasons for the rules, here is what happens if you don't follow them." and "You need to drive to the conditions, the speed limit is only an upper limit".

Now everytime I drive with my Father I am the one telling him to slow down.


I suggest you show this thread to your daughter, and point out options 1 and 2 above, before she has option 3, which I do not recomend.

LBaldwin wrote in post #7188816
I had serious issues in the driving department prior to my 18 BD. Including stealing the family car (basically took it w/o permission) and a DUI that could have gotten someone seriously hurt or worse. 1 month is easy peasy.

Eventually after learning how to drive professionally (something not really available to me as a kid) I learned HOW speed can kill and exactly what skills are needed to survive to my just turned 48 BD, something many of my family didn't really expect of me.

Get her to a Bondurant style of defensive driving, where she can experience skid pad, emergency manuevers etc. They will show her the actual physics of driving, something sadly lacking in most courses. I took several classes in the ARMY at Ft. Bragg, tractor trailer, motorcycle, executive protection etc, all of them very worth while.

The alternative is to take her to the track with a pro driver and scare the sh*t out of her.

At 17 you really do think that you are invincible...

EDIT: In other words punishment is warrented, but improved skills will keep her alive - which is really the goal. Skip Barber is a real hoot, and I think you may want to go togeather... http://www.skipbarber.​com/default.aspx

Are there any driver's ed/ awareness courses run by the police? Ones that show the consequences of excessive speed? Shock tactics can be helpful sometimes. Speed in residential areas is potentially far more tragic than on a freeway.

another option might be sending her on an advanced driving course if available - carrot and stick, telll her if she takes the courses you'll withdraw the punishment - then you both can feel good?

Pre veterinary? Must be a good person! Everything will work out!

Steve the Post-Veterinary

http://www.associatedc​ontent.com …kes_accidents.h​tml?cat=27

http://www.northcaroli​nainjurylawyerblog.com …_have_been_the_​cau_1.html

http://findarticles.co​m …PF/is_23_104/ai​_n13619888

I think the month is fair.
But, the bigger advantage to you might be that month..

Now you hold the ability to give her "sherrif's good time" and maybe let her have it back at 3 weeks for good behavior? Hell, at least you have the thought to play with.

A month is harsh, no doubt about it.
But at the same rate, as already mentioned, its better then the alternative of A)having your insurance go up.. or B) God forbid cauing an accident and she/someone else getting hurt.

So how did she take it? Did you lay down the punishment yet?

I'de say you did the right thing. Although she is a good kid (I was aslo blessed with good teen, not perfect but good) she needs this as an eye opener that it won't be tolerated. Even if it's her car & she pays all the bills, she's still a minor & you are responsible for her actions. You hear all too many times these trajick stories of teen drivers....I got one more to go (been thru 4) & it scares the hell out of me every time.

Good luck

Mark