2 Cambodian Girls, A Pup, and an Alien Bee...CC?

Went to visit my friends the other day and did a mini-practice shoot with their family. The girls were willing subjects and it was alot of fun testing things out.
I'm trying to achieve that nice balance between exposing the sky/background correctly and lighting the subject correctly.
I don't have a flash meter, so it was chimp and change basically.

I like the way this one turned out. I think the BG is a bit under-exposed, but I really like how sharp the pup is.

What do you see that I can improve on/change to make better?

Also, how is the color/brightness? I can't really tell on my crappy monitor, but the faces look a little bright to me...

I don't normally like to post pictures because I don't feel qualified with so much talent around here, but you guys always have ideas that I didn't think of on the shoot, so I'd like to get thoughts on what to implement next time.
Thanks for looking.

Agree with you about the faces, but the background looks fine to me. May be reduce the flash next time.

Dont under estimate yourself. I think its an amazing picture, the faces are a bit too bright and the BG is a little under exposed, but thats being picky. Its a overall great picture, great job! Also which alien bee was in use there and how many?

This looks awesome to me, is this just one bee? And what lens was this?

Thanks guys. Sometimes it's embarrassing posting stuff and then you look at some of the amazing stuff that's on here and it's like, "I'm selling all my gear tomorrow..."

Sorry, I forgot to post setup info:
5D, Tamron 28-75@28mm, f13, 1/160, ISO 125, One AB 800 Camera Left with a 45" shoot-through umbrella. I don't remember the power setting, but it was pretty high, like, more than half, and probably like around 3/4 or close to full. The sun was camera right. It was around 4:00 P.M.
I took a few shots of them with a green velvet chair outdoors. I might post them after I process them.

Please, feel free to rip this thing apart. I want to get into the habit of thinking about this stuff before I even press the shutter.
Thanks!

Hey there.
+1 on "don't under-estimate yourself".
This is a nice shot.

For C&C, I agree you've slightly over-cooked it on the faces. Have you tried some dodging in PP?

I like the "studio feel" of your shot too. And the dog is a sweetie, so, all good there, too!

The only thing I'd be careful of is the angle you've used. Using a 28mm FL from low down could, err, how can I put this.... "improve" on the size of someone's lower-body. I think the girls look ok, but some women might get a tad angry if their thighs are made to look bigger!

My wife is Japanese, and trust me, you DON'T want to make oriental women look like they've got big legs!!!!

I thought about that too (distortion). I was surprised as I was looking through the VF at the amount of distortion present at 28mm. Perhaps I'm used to my XTi
In The original shot, the faces aren't over-exposed. I brightened the shot in ACR. i'm going to re-edit and re-post. But I'll leave that one up for reference. Maybe I'll have time tomorrow, err... later today. For now I must sleep.
Thanks y'all.

Re-Edit 1:

Really like the re-edit #1. But now it just seems a tiny bit dark on my monitor. Still, a great shot...lighting is so simple, but so good. And I love the dogs left ear..

re-edit #1 is a 5-star winner! I like the distortion too...then again, I'm a total wide-angle addict...

TristanCardew wrote in post #7339885
Really like the re-edit #1. But now it just seems a tiny bit dark on my monitor. Still, a great shot...lighting is so simple, but so good. And I love the dogs left ear..

The left-ear was a chance capture. He was looking down and away, and I called him "Hey DUKE!" and as he looks up I snapped. It was caught flying in mid air

Thanks, LrS-10!

sweet!! i love this off camera lighting....re-edit# 1 rocks!

I agree. Re edit # 1 looks great.

WTF?

Hey Sam, these are a good try, and re-edit 1 is definitely better. Watch that red channel, it's by far the easiest to blow and you blew it out in the first shot, and it's still a tiny bit blown in the second. In photoshop, you can hold down alt/option as you make adjustments to see a mask that will show you whether any channels are clipped. And keep a close eye on the red channel of your histogram when you're shooting.