Recently, during the campaigning season last year, I had an online interview. Here are some excerpts:
Guineh wrote in post #7431430
Rumor has it that you were once a part of the Navy SEALs. Is this true?
Not quite. For a couple of years, I was a part of the Navy's pilot program, the Walrus. Not as fast as the SEAL, but if you get within tusk range, boy howdy. Lethal.
Miniflash wrote in post #7431432why didn't you try to get into the British SBS?
Well, I was going to, but I tried out the French Foreign Legion first. In the early 90's, I was stationed at the Quebec post. I left when it was finally pointed out that the people that live in Quebec, though they speak French, aren't really from France.
Yes Dear.
Woolburr wrote in post #7431501If a train in Yonkers left the station at 8:45 and headed West at 15 mph, and a car leaving Blauphkunt, 38 miles away, headed East at 20 mph, when would they meet.
Never. As the Great Guru, Plu Cath Larry once said, "There is no train." Wise words.
Skrim17 wrote in post #7431513My boss says I shouldn't take so many naps at work.
Ah. Tell your boss that if you didn't take naps, you'd be breaking the law. If you kept energized all day long, if you were as upbeat at the end of the day as you were at the beginning, it would be breaking the Law of Thermodynamics.
Who told you I was in prison? T.D.? Hey, I was only in long enough for the papers to get processed. Then I was told to leave Mexico. T.D. still has the hubcaps off of the Police Commissioner's car.
short5 wrote in post #7431598Didn't they steal the idea of the "Matrix" from you?
sort of. Neo was my idea. But the rest of the story revolves Neo's inability to make a good chocolate chip cookie. Oh, and the idea of the "deja vu/ glitch in the system" was sort of my idea, too. Except it was with a microwave oven and a jell-o mold.
DDA wrote in post #7431676If elected to president, what would be your first act?
Probably getting my picture taken. That seems to happen a lot with presidents.
mtnphtgrphr wrote in post #7431797If I was the color red, what color would you be?
Dan.
thomascanty wrote in post #7431806If you were in Virginia City, NV, and a ghost were to come up to you and tell you to leave that place, what would you do?
What? A ghost? Are you kidding me? I'd scream like a third grade girl! I'd run out of there so fast, it'd make your head spi...
Wait, is this mic on?
Harm wrote in post #7432019Hypothetically speaking, if you were at a place and a nuclear bomb went off, what would be the first thing you would do?
Melt. Hypothetically speaking.
T.D. wrote in post #7432122Hey! I didn't know those were the Police Commissioner's hubcaps! You said that it was a local custom to use them to barter for blankets!
And you believed it.
CrazieCricket wrote in post #7430864In the late 90's you spent some time in India. Doing what?
I worked at a Cobra ranch. We'd round them up, get them all corralled and we'd get to feeding them, or milking the sow cobras. The big deal was doing the yearlings. Once they hit one year old, we'd have to brand them. That was a bit tricky.
poppie guy wrote in post #7430517Is there any truth behind you being next in line for the throne in the UK?
HRH Liz called me up the other day, like she usually does, just to chat (she just got a Rebel and has a ton of questions) and we were joking about doing a job swap one day. We had a good laugh over it, but it'll never happen. Her dresses are waaaay too small for me.
BearLeeAlive wrote in post #7430503Blanger Znakznak Flinktori slumk?
Nikxr arankt.
cfpackerfan wrote in post #7430330My son wants to grow up to be like you.
Tell him to start eating more. Now.
Jamie Holladay wrote in post #7430276Would it be possible for me to bear your children?
You keep bears away from my kids.
neil_r wrote in post #7429874If you could go back in time, what time period would you go?
Right before the time I saw the Ensenada's Police Commissioner's car parked outside of Hussong's.
JWright wrote in post #7429221Knowing what you know now, what would you do over again, given the chance?
fifth grade. I've almost completely forgotten it altogether.
misspix wrote in post #7429142Why should I vote for you this next election?
If there's a politician out there, they're a crap shoot, really. Think about it. They're out there, telling you that they're the best at this, the champion of that, but you really don't know. They may be or they may NOT be. With me, you know exactly what you're getting. I suck at almost everything. Really. Complete failure. There's no second guessing it. You know that I'll do absolutely nothing. There are no high expectations with me at all or any agendas. I plan on goofing off as much as possible.
Thanks for listening.
