Hi jtaylr77,
I usually stand about 5 or 6 feet away and depending on how many people are in a group I may have to stand further back. Three feet is probably too close, stand further back and use the zoom, you may need to rest the camera on something if shake is going to be a problem, I have a tripod. The flash on my A40 is also very powerful at close distances, so I either turn it off and use the available light or use the new 300w light I bought recently and bounce the light from a white coloured ceiling. The white balance is used only to make sure the colours in your pictures come out right and don't have a blue or orange tint on them. You could even try making a homemade diffuser to cut down the amount of light coming out of the flash or see is there anything in your local camera shop, if this is a big problem for you.
JohnMN