How can i improve this photo?

I was experimenting with multiple flashes indoors for the first time today. Normally I use one flash for outdoor portraits so the multiple flash idea was new to me. Here is my attempt now how can I make it better it does not quite do it for me.This is a self portrait so the focus may be a bit off and i just woke up at the time so im a mess lol.

I would like some ideas on maybe how i cold have lit this better I was going for a dramatic lighting effect the second pic is of my lighting setup taken by my crappy camera phone, it is hard to tell but in the piano is a snooted 285 which is what lit up my face.

no ideas?

Use a bag on a stick or something as a model, and manually focus it where you are going to be sitting. Or, invest in a remote trigger. As far as lighting, I have no idea on that, but be patient, answers will come :]

ok good idea with the bag on a stick thanks

Its hard for me match the lights on the setup photo to the actual shot so I'm going to base my suggestion on the result of the first shot. You said you used multiple flashes but I only see one key light in the portrait. Its blasting you right in the face and its too hot burning away detail on the front of your face. If you had fill going it was too low to be noticeable or didnt add much to the shot.

i had a snooted flash that is blasting me in the face, then i had an umbrella to my right that gave some light to the keys and my torso.

So you are saying that the umbrella light should have been more powerful.

you also said the light on my face was to harsh how can i tone that down and still use the snoot. I dont want he light spilling everywhere. The look i was going for was kinda edgy with me in a dark room and all you can really see is my face and me playing the keys.

you could either turn down the snooted flash power, move it farther away to reduce its power, or better yet find some sort of way to soften it. Ideally you would put some sort of softbox on it, that would limit the spill, but still soften the light. I think you are probably trying to use too many lights to get your edgy shot. Try this, replace the snooted light with the umbrella and no other lights. That would give you soft light on your face that falls off quickly leaving the side of your face in the shadows. Then use some cardboard panels to to the sides of (And possibly below) the umbrella to control where the spill falls. If your only light modifier is an umbrella, lighting something this tight is sort of like tying your shoes wearing boxing gloves.

ok so if i use this one light setup how would i light up the piano keys

I was assuming that a light in front of you mounted high with an umbrella would have sufficient spill to hit the keys. If not, power down your snooted flash to add a tiny bit of light to brighten up the keys. I see one 285, what is your other flash?

My suggestion is to put a peice of printer paper over the end of the snoot to soften it up a bit, then find yourself a solid dark colored sheet for the background. The back ground with the lamp is distracting with it being kind of lit and kind of not, however i can also see the purpose of having it, so you might play around with it.

U can try a few different things with your two lights but I think for what your trying to do u might need a gridded softbox and another light. U can bounce your umbrella light(without the umbrella) straight off the ceiling and it will fill the keys and such and then just turn the snooted light down and close the av down a bit. Won't be dramatic but should be more even and highlight your face. U could also throw the Umbrella to your 2:30-3 o'clock, lift it up just over the camera and throw the other flash up higher and at about 1 o'clock with out the snoot and just hard light your face and shoulders and use the umbrella for fill on your lower half and keys.

However if it was me I would hang a white sheet over the window, blast it or wait for sun to blast it, and shoot it from a higher angle in front of you using the other light for fill and make it look as if your playing to the morning sunrise at your back blaring through your window.

thank you for all of these ideas I'm going to go try them now.

Gonzogolf i assume you know that the umbrella is a 285, the flash on the piano is a 285 as well i just has a home made snoot on it covering most of it up.

You might just try your original setup with the snooted 285 turned down at least two setting lower than the bounced umbrella it might help, for instance try umbrella full power, snooted one 1/8th power.

gonzogolf wrote in post #8394019
You might just try your original setup with the snooted 285 turned down at least two setting lower than the bounced umbrella it might help, for instance try umbrella full power, snooted one 1/8th power.

i think that would be ideal but both flashes are on 1/16 which is as low as they will go