Advice Needed...My Seller has Disappeared..

while new here i am a very experienced buyer/seller with lots of feedback at fm, ebay, heatware, golfwrx, etc...and am totally stumped on what to do about a transaction i thought was done.

first, no money has changed hands so i am not at risk, but this thing has me really scratching my head...so here's the chronology:

i have been looking for a particular high dollar lens that doesn't show up all that often so did a search here...there was a guy who posted a bunch of stuff including this lens, about a month ago. this seller has tons of great feedback here and at fm having sold a lot of high dollar items, and has between 1500--2000 posts here.

i pm'd him assuming the lens (well priced) was long gone just to be sure. i got a message back that the entire group of stuff was still for sale and that if i wanted the lens i could have it. i pm'd him back that i wanted it, but given the high dollar amount involved wanted to chat on the phone to get comfortable with the transaction. also this guy does all his sales via us postal money order/casher's check, so i'd be at risk. while i don't like doing that, since he had so much high dollar positive feedback i felt ok if i could speak to him.

he gave me his cell phone number so i gave him a call last friday. we had a very good and detailed chat and i felt good about the transaction. i told him to pm or email me his full contact details and that i'd get the funds out to him that day. i never got the details from him, so i waited a couple of days and called him again. he said he had gotten busy and apologized for not getting details to me... i said i'd like to get the funds out to him monday (this was sunday afternoon) so if he could pm or email me his details we'd be good to go.

well i never got the contact details and he has never called me (he has all my phone numbers). i left him a vm message monday morning and never heard back. i don't know what to do. if he doesn't want to sell me the lens (sounded like he needed to for personal reasons) that's ok, but since we were 'done' i think he owes me a call or email telling me he's out of the deal.

this one is very strange--if he didn't have such good and extensive feedback and tons of postings here i'd drop it and just say good riddance, but in this case i'd still like to do the deal...but i don't want to hassle the guy either.

what should i do?

It sounds like buying the lens is a higher priority for you than selling it is for him. Since you had to search out his month-old post and things still hadn't sold, he doesn't seem in that much of a hurry. If he has a ton of positive feedback and you still want the lens, I would say just wait it out. Also the idea that he has esoteric, high-priced lenses around might give the idea that he is well off and either very busy with work or has 20 other expensive hobbies that occupy his time.

i hear you, am just not really the patient type when i'm in the middle of a transaction. also, my m.o. is to be very communicative, especially when selling something. it's hard to sell and i don't want to give a buyer a reason to feel uncomfortable...i'm hoping he's just really busy with work and the personal stuff he has going on that is causing him to sell his extensive kit of gear...but it's just strange to me as it sounded like he really wanted to get this stuff gone and the lens i'm looking at is the most expensive and the one he most wanted to be able to move...

Sometimes people's priorities change, and sometimes people aren't as communicative as you'd like them to be.

So, wait patiently for an answer, but don't let that stop you looking elsewhere.

would it be disrespectfull to give him another call or should i just leave the ball in his court?

There are just times when things happen simultaneously and I have been in that boat wherein I have committed myself to several things and then something happens that prevents me from doing what I could normally do. Most of the time work related, so I would just wait for him to contact you. He has your information and if he really wants to sell you the lens, then he will contact you. Being a good seller with lots of positive feedback, and being that the lens is a high prized item, I would wait for him if I could. Meanwhile if another opportunity to buy the same lens presents itself, then I would explore that route also.

Just my .02 Cents

As you've left a VM, just write a PM/email indicating that you're still interested in the lens and that he can respond as and when he'd like to deal with you. Can't really say fairer than that.

He didn't disappear. Life happens - a weekend and then only 2 week days later.

Postal money order is not any more risky. It may just not as a convenient to make a claim, but I remember buying $$$ equipment paid postal money order from rec.photo.* or alt.photo.* usenet newsgroup .

thanks for the handholding. i guess i'll leave him another pm and leave it at that. if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be....

wait so no money changed hands? In that case i would just move on with my life, another item will come down the road...

no money changed hands, and yes i'm getting on with my life....

just a bummer however as i got myself all excited about this piece of glass. que sera, sera.

Have you checked if he has had any activity within the past several days? Maybe something urgent came up and he hasn't had time to deal with other things...if he has had activity, then you'd know if he was just ignoring you and I'd just walk away. However, if you could tell that he hasn't been on the forums in a while, I'd give him some time as he probably had an emergency or something.

Does he live in California? Some areas have had evacuations due to wildfires.

IMO, I would walk away at this point. He could take you money and be equally as casual about sending out the lens.

It's also possible the your seller sold his gear to someone else.

Best news is that it sounds as if you are out nothing personally. Some transactions don't end as well. Count your lucky starts and move on, I guess.

dave