:(

Sorry, I just needed to vent and wasnt sure where to do it, but I feel better when I write things out. So I am 22, I have been on my own since I was 17, I have a sister and brother ages 8 and 6 respectively. My Mother would not let them come over to my house to watch a movie or take them out to dinner or anything at all, we have not really gotten along most of my life, she calls me irresponsible yet she does not have a job and lives off of the state, while I have a full time job, run my own photog business with my GF and have recently been promoted at my job.

My Dad has told me how impressed he is, he said that I am much farther along in life than he was at my age says that he is proud of me for the photog stuff and for my job. Well she finally let me have some time to do something with my brother and sister, after not letting me see them or talk to them aside from my rare visits to her house.

Just so you understand, there is not anywhere to sit in the house, it is a complete mess, imagine taking all of your things and throwing them all over your house and just letting everything pile up and that is how the entire house is, it does not have rooms, it has walkways. Well for Christmas last year I got them a Nintendo Wii, and I have been paying for my Mother to have a cell phone for the last 20 months because she could not afford it and whenever she has needed money even though I know I would not see it I gave it to her and her husband because they are family and it is the right thing to do.

My Dad taught me family first and he is truly a role model and a great parent. Well sorry this has gotten very long, but she decided that she was going to let me take them trick or treating, but then she told me that my sister is not comfortable going because she does not know me. So because I have asked for them to come over and spend time, I now have a brother and sister that are scared of me or something like that and do not know me since my Mother did not let them spend any time with me. I am truly heart broken and hurt and mad all at the same time, wow I need a drink.

That really sucks. I guess you need to spend a little more time with your brother and sister, in the environment they're most comfortable with - say, playing Wii games with them, and gain their trust. Things can take a while, but I agree with yourself and your Dad, family is of great importance. Good luck, and hope the drink went down well.

Actually, it sounds like you're doing okay on your own, despite the example your mother has given. Your father, on the other hand, seems like he's proud of your accomplishments. Put the negatives aside and run with the positives. When your siblings get older, they'll understand that you're a good older brother that only wants the best for them. By the way, stay away from the drinking. You don't "need" it.

Best of luck to you!

footballdude2k3,

You are doing very well, and should be proud of your accomplishments. Your father recognizes it. And no, you don't need a drink. Have one sometime if you want one; need and drink are a bad combination.

You will always have this demon inside you telling you that you're not good enough. Don't believe it. You'll know if you're truly not good enough, and I would say at this point it isn't an issue.

With your brother and sister, if you haven't seen them much over the years, sure they're going to be a little scared. They're 6 and 8. They'll warm up to you. With a little luck they'll see the good in you as the years progress.

I walked away from my parents and siblings for about four years. This was nearly 13 years ago. My dad's alcoholism was one significant issue. There are serious value issues with them, though I'm the blacksheep of the family. Today I'm married and we have an 11 y.o. daughter. Oh and I've been working at the same company for roughly 25 years. Oh and I have good credit and little debt. And I'm the loser. Right.

I know the road you face, and you seem to be following a good path. It's not easy, but you're doing well. Keep up the good work!

You are trying to do things the right way - keep doing it.

Just take your brother and sister out bowling or to a film - just spend time with them. Don't try too hard to be the perfect brother - they will see through you putting on an act.

Question.. Is you mother still married to your father??

I had a beer Friday night with dinner with my girlfriend, it was good, and thank you for the support, I know that I dont "need" a drink, I usually dont drink at all but once in awhile its nice to have a few with some good friends. My parents were never married, they have not been together for almost 21 years. They were together originally for 2 weeks before they found out about me...I think I was a surprise I will continue to try to do something with them where they are comfortable, it just sucks going over there because it is disgustingly dirty. You guys are the best, thanks for the support!