kauffman v36 wrote in post #9034118
ok well since you asked for advanced critique here it goes, lol.
first works for me in a weird way. neither of them have a very pleasant look to them so idk if thats what you were going for. the first one has nice framing and my eye immediately goes to the face and hair across it. in the second photo im a little freaked out and not in a good way. the stray hair to the subjects left is distracting and her facial expression is not appealing.
regarding the b&w conversion, theyre fine. idk what effect you were after. in the first pic some of her hair is lost but its not that big of a deal IMO
Thanks kauffman v36, I wasn't particularly going for a pleasant look - I just wanted something that was striking and unique. I agree with you on the 2nd photo, part of why I like it was because it is slightly unnerving. I thought the b&w added more impact to her stare, which is why I left it at that.
Robert_Lay wrote in post #9034313
In my opinion the most serious problem with both images is that the dark hair is blocked up with little to no detail over large areas. Even the background is not that dark and featureless.
The left sleeve of the jacket is also so dark as to have a tonal merger between the hair and the jacket.
The contrast is really too high and is probably the result of a harsh lighting or post processing - either way, it is just too high.
Thank you, Bob, for your specific technical critiques. Having given it some thought, I believe that the qualms you address are not complicated fixes in photoshop because as you suspect, they are a result of harsh post processing and strong directional light. The effects are intentional, but I definitely see the merit in perhaps toning the processing down. I have to admit that there has been a loss in detail, and I shall take this back to the cutting board with your critique in mind.
jetcode wrote in post #9034332
Nice, for starters the print tone is excellent and the compositions are original.
In #1 there is another photograph in cropping the white blouse out entirely. Since most of the image is in the shadow area the two white elements become the polarizing points for the eye. Personally I think the blouse overpowers the eyes and this may be a problem, or not. Even cropping most of the blouse but not all reduces the ratio of these two white elements leaving the eye to do what it does best; gravitate towards the largest brightest object which in this case is her face.
#2 works great from this perspective of the brightest spot being the critical attention point in the image. The pose is clever but her face is soft. I would like to see her eye selectively sharpened (or some portion of her face or image) to give me some indication that I have arrived at the destination you designed into the image. There could be a little more tone in her face but that is subjective as some designers like a completely blown out pasty look, your call on that one.
Your comment about #1's cropping is not something that I would have readily noticed. Thank you very much for the suggestion, I shall definitely take this one back to the cutting board.
Regarding #2, I shall give the selective sharpening a look. I confess I have never done any kind of selective sharpening myself, having previously been satisfied with "across the board" general sharpening. I will probably have to read up and do a little experimentation. Also, as in my response to Bob's post, the harsh contrast was intentional, but I do admit that there has been a loss in some detail.
Thanks for the critique, jetcode.
Dawid wrote in post #9034705
The compositions are original, but that doesn't mean the execution has worked. There isn't enough detail in the huge blacked out chunk of hair in the top shot. It leaves negative space in the foreground, and leaves your eye confused. The human eye looks for the most intense contrast first, and the lack of detail where you eye is drawn to presents a slight problem. A little light on that side would fix it, without taking away from the face, or lack of one, in the shot.
The second one is great, but it also bothers me at the same time. I think the angle is light is genius, but the out of focus hair in front of her face seems a little out of place. And as for that background, it is simply distracting. Make it more out of focus, or give it detail too. Both of those issues could be fixed by not shooting wide open. I would say shoot this with a smaller aperture, and it would be interesting to see the results.
Thank you for expanding on the details of the negative space, I find that of a particular benefit in my understanding. Looks like you've all noticed the loss of detail in the hair and other areas.
Regarding #2, I must confess I am a sucker for shooting wide open. It seems this is an instance where I should have thought about the effect aperture had on the effect I was trying to create.
To everyone, I thank you for the advanced critique - It honestly has been most helpful, and will give me a lot to chew on as I go back to the darkroom.