Flying under radar

There is no way I can hide a hunk of glass in White jacket. I'm not planning to lie to her or not mentioning it. Just trying to gather all the techniques you experienced support group people come up with. Being a square engineer, the art of how and what to disclose is a big lesson.
The purpose of this thread is to look for some volunteers to check back on me if I disappear all in a sudden

Never have. We are lucky enough to understand each others wants and needs. When either of us makes a large purchase we discuss it to make sure we NEVER again fall down that slippery "in debt" slide we were on when young. Besides I suck at math and she was a "bean counter" before retiring.

My better half is pretty understanding when it comes to camera spending - she kinda trusts that I'm the financially cautious of us, and it seems that there's an unwritten-agreement that it's OK for that to be less the case from time to time when it comes to camera stuff.

There was once a girl who didn't understand my spending on the car so much though, the naughtiest one I ever ventured there was "Spelling mistake on eBay, I got it for 99p"

Rob.

vincent_su wrote in post #9347491
There is no way I can hide a hunk of glass in White jacket. I'm not planning to lie to her or not mentioning it. Just trying to gather all the techniques you experienced support group people come up with. Being a square engineer, the art of how and what to disclose is a big lesson.
The purpose of this thread is to look for some volunteers to check back on me if I disappear all in a sudden

Well, from psychologist to engineer, here's the basic operating principle. The simple question that you need to address is "what's in it for me?".

You're on the right track in understanding that there's no advantage to be gained from lying or hiding things. Making it obvious that you're operating with transparency saves you a lot of grief from having to convince the missus that you're on the level.

Now while transparency is good, you'd still want to avoid opposition where you can, and that's where "what's in it for me?" comes in. People are less opposed to things when they can see the value in those things, so offer a value proposition. In my case, my wife and her friends get some nice photos in the bargain, so my getting camera gear serves her purposes as well as mine.

I think the general rule around here is "It's easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission"

Just grovel and plead and you'll be fine!

neilwood32 wrote in post #9350586
I think the general rule around here is "It's easier to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission"

Just grovel and plead and you'll be fine!

Of course you'll be fine. She'll treat you just like the family pet...

...and have you "fixed."

I'm assuming the doghouse fits into this picture somewhere.

In many ways, most best not dwelt upon.

Gedanken wrote in post #9350903
I'm assuming the doghouse fits into this picture somewhere.

It only feels cramped for the first week or so, then you get used to it.

Just tell her straight " I want it and I'm buying it"


. . . and when the broken bones heal up call a lawyer specialising in criminal injuries claims. Problem solved.

Robert16 wrote in post #9352619
Just tell her straight " I want it and I'm buying it"
. . . and when the broken bones heal up call a lawyer specialising in criminal injuries claims. Problem solved.

Getting a divorce, worse yet with broken bones, is NOT what I'm trying to do here.

vincent_su wrote in post #9355194
Getting a divorce, worse yet with broken bones, is NOT what I'm trying to do here.

Ah, but if she breaks your bones, that's physical abuse and you won't have to pay alimony. Just think of all the money you'll then be able to spend on gear!

Of course, a 1Ds series camera with EF 800mm lens, while definitely a primo bit of photography gear, is not really optimal at keep you warm at night.

On the other hand, if she's really mean, she'll not only break your bones but get the garden clippers and snip off your shutter finger. So you'd better add a remote shutter release to you gear list.

The priority here is to make her aware of-- I did what I had to do and it's not as bad as lying to her. It's just some spending I did not consult her before hand. That's all.
Both of us are not violent people. I'm sure it'll be fine after some agony and I'm ready for that
Of course, next time go around, I'll find out a way to let her know before hand. How am I going to convince her that a new lens cause $2000 is not very expensive?

vincent_su wrote in post #9355721
The priority here is to make her aware of-- I did what I had to do and it's not as bad as lying to her. It's just some spending I did not consult her before hand. That's all.
Both of us are not violent people. I'm sure it'll be fine after some agony and I'm ready for that
Of course, next time go around, I'll find out a way to let her know before hand. How am I going to convince her that a new lens cause $2000 is not very expensive?

Show her the price of this one: http://www.sigmaphoto.​com …s.asp?id=3349&n​avigator=3

"But Sweetheart! It's only a 200-500mm zoom!"

And that's why I'm going for a 70-200 lens for $2000. Humm, sounds plausible.