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Thread started 18 Jan 2010 (Monday) 13:36
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Wife wants to hire a photographer - should I be insulted?

 
tkbslc
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Jan 18, 2010 13:36 |  #1

So this morning my wife said she wanted to get some pictures of my girls done at a local professional photographer that specializes in kids photography. Now while I freely admit the photographer she wants to hire is a much better photographer than I am, I can't help but take this as a slap in the face. I try pretty hard to get good shots of my girls and that is mostly what I got my SLR kit for. Now it seems like what's the point if she just wants to pay someone else for the frame-worthy shots.

Am I just being a boob, or how would you take this?


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cdifoto
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Jan 18, 2010 13:39 |  #2

My sister goes to Sears and Wal-Mart all the time. It doesn't insult me. I usually tell her to do it.


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tkbslc
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Jan 18, 2010 13:41 |  #3

But I don't do this for money. If my family isn't going to use my shots, nobody is. So I can't help but feel a bit discouraged.


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Jan 18, 2010 13:47 |  #4

It would be a little discouraging, sure. But you freely admit that you're not at the level of the photographer she wants to hire.

Don't stop shooting though. Keep improving. Let your wife take the girls to that other professional, get the photos back and analyze the crap out of them.


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timnosenzo
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Jan 18, 2010 13:49 |  #5

Well, my first reaction is "ouch"... but maybe she's thinking that since you're into photography, you would really appreciate having some amazing photos taken of the kids? Or that maybe you could be in some of the pictures for a change? :)


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Jan 18, 2010 13:52 |  #6

Get better, and eventually she won't need or want to get them done elsewhere. If you're not as good as the other entity, it would be inappropriate (and it would stem from insecurity, jealousy and some other immature emotions) for you to demand or force them to settle for you.

You're being a boob. Learn what you can from the professional and work to get better.

My girlfriend wants me to shoot her daughter's wedding, and I have agreed to do it, but I would honestly be completely content if she had someone else do it - provided I knew and trusted the photographer's skill. I recognize when someone is better at it than me, and I would rather choose to learn what I can from a better photographer than get annoyed that someone - including family - has chosen them. Put personal feelings aside and use it to your advantage.


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Drozz119
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Jan 18, 2010 13:52 |  #7

Do a shoot with the kids before she books.. and without the wife knowing

If you have girls, take them to your sister or salon to get their hair done (unless you can do it, i know i cant)

Surprise your wife with some prints..

Step up and make it happen! Otherwise, she is going to continue to book with the local photographer, and irritate you every year :mad:


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Jan 18, 2010 13:53 |  #8

maybe it's just a matter of what the studio can offer, rather than the photographer. I mean, perhaps your wife wants some specific backdrops, or she's aware of some sets/prop items the studio has that aren't readily available at the house or easily acquired. Maybe they have some specific tricks up their sleeves that get the kids doing some pretty unique and cute things.

In short, the things your wife might want in a photograph of your children may have less to do with the technical quality of a photograph and more to do with where they're photographed and how they're interacted with.

I would say that your best bet is to ask your wife what kind of photographs she wants the studio to take of your children. You then might say you'd like to have a try at it first, or volunteer to take your daughters to the studio and watch carefully to see what kind of tips and tricks you can pick up.


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Jan 18, 2010 13:53 |  #9

I wouldn't worry about it, your wife obviously appreciates photography. I also understand a mother wanting the best possible pictures of her children. If yours are not up to that quality the let her get them somewhere else. I might feel somewhat sad but, it would just be more incentive for me to work harder on improving my own skill.

Now you can just tell her you need a new lens or a better flash or studio strobe so you can be that good :).


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Jan 18, 2010 14:00 as a reply to  @ tkbslc's post |  #10

I wouldn't take it as an insult. In fact you might be genuinely supportive of it. Here are some things to consider.

You said he's a much better photographer than you. Once in awhile, wouldn't it be nice to have some really good photographs of your girls?

Your wife may be trying to save you a bit of effort. She wants Studio Photos. It isn't that she doesn't want your photos. If you have a DSLR and she's supportive of that, I'll bet she likes - and perhaps even loves - your photos! Can you do not just studio photos, but the consumate Studio Photos? It's like going out for a steak dinner. Sure, you can grill some steaks at home, but is it really an insult to go to a fine restaurant to let them prepare an even better steak for you?

Here's an idea for the future. Do you print your photos? If not, strive to print some and frame them. Make photo books. I just finished one of a vacation we took in November. While I'm not the best photographer in the world, we have family memories now in a hard cover book that will last for years. I have photos of my wife and daughter, as well as friends from here we met while away.

Your wife's not putting you down, nor is she putting down your photography. She wants Studio Photos. Say Yes with grace.


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DreDaze
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Jan 18, 2010 14:08 |  #11

why not invest the money you'd spend on the photographer into something that will allow you to take better shots...like some off camera flashes that you've got on your wishlist...


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Celtic ­ Tiger
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Jan 18, 2010 14:12 as a reply to  @ mathogre's post |  #12

My son is a senior in HS this year. I've been practicing and learning for about a year now. I could probably come reasonably close to some of the shots if given the time to think through and set up each shot and do proper pp; but I didn't want to deprive him of the experience. His senior pics came back great from the professional photographer. I continue to shoot in a no pressure zone and get nice compliments. Its all good.


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Jan 18, 2010 14:14 as a reply to  @ DreDaze's post |  #13

Yes I would be a bit insulted, but you admitted that the local photographer is much better than you so just let her take the kids there until you get better.



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LuckyStar08
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Jan 18, 2010 14:16 |  #14

I think everyone is being really diplomatic about this. If it was me, I'd be insulted and ticked off. My husband is my biggest fan & greatest supporter, from day one. He would never dream of having anyone else do his pictures, or our children's pictures. Good, bad, or ugly...I'm the family photographer. Besides, they are your kids and if your first shoot doesn't work out, do it again, and again. My children & husband were my first clients, and I practice on them all the time. (whether they like it or not) Good luck.


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amac22
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Jan 18, 2010 14:25 |  #15

I would go and watch the photographer so I could better my skills. Learning some of the photographers technique could help you win over your wifes heart next year.

Also, have some family portraits taken. My parents always rushed my sister and I to the studio but never jumped in. It's one thing I wish I had more of.


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Wife wants to hire a photographer - should I be insulted?
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