Tried some flash...need suggestions

This is my second attempt at using OCF and I was going off of OneLight 2 disc set.

Here is what I got, all unedited. Any help on what to change would be great.

1

First, you need to focus on the eyes, so AI Servo & choose your focus point to put one there. 20D: If I switch my camera to Custom Function 13-1 to put point selection on the Multicontroller (Joystick), life with AI Servo becomes a lot easier. It only takes a fraction of a second to set the point I need.

Second, kids can generally handle dramatic light better than (some) older people, but for this sort of portrait, I'd prefer a softer light. So try putting a white card on the opposite side from the light to bounce some light into the shadows of her face. Closer is usually better, as long as it's out of the frame.
Not to complicate this too much, but another card over her head would help to separate her hair from the darker background, so if you don't have stands to hold the cards, you'll need at least one person to hold the cards for you.

#3: Too much room over her head. Crop to fit the shot, not to some arbitrary paper size, & then use a mat to cover the "excess" space in the frame.
https://photography-on-the.net …php?p=970537&po​stcount=17

A mat & frame also help isolate the image from the usual white walls that they're hung on, & can make a big difference in how it looks. Take a look at POST #30 near the bottom: The gray bar at the center is the same density all the way across.
A few Car Lighting Tips

The book background sort of works, but you don't need the white pages so close to her face. Actually, you don't need the white pages at all. Just darker bindings would be better, & having some horizontal ones mixed in with the others doesn't work for me.
This doesn't work, either: What was it about the shelf running through her face that appealed to you?

difuse the light

Thanks for the input, I have stands and have found my umbrella placement was not correct on the stand. The umbrella was too close to the SL.

The books were the farthest from my concern at the time. Thanks for the links, Im going to check them out.

GO BUCKS BTW!

The eyes do look a bit soft. I use one shot focus rather than AI Servo but selecting the focus point (singular) is good as Frank suggests. You will also want to check your DOF. f2.8 at 200mm can get pretty thin.

http://www.dofmaster.c​om/dofjs.html

PhotosGuy wrote in post #9588772
First, you need to focus on the eyes, so AI Servo & choose your focus point to put one there. 20D: If I switch my camera to Custom Function 13-1 to put point selection on the Multicontroller (Joystick), life with AI Servo becomes a lot easier. It only takes a fraction of a second to set the point I need........

I don't think I've ever seen a recommendation for AI Servo for normal studio type work.

"Normally" I don't use a tripod for one-person shots, so if there's a chance that I can move, or she can move even a tiny bit, I use it. And then theres this:
http://www.visual-vacations.com …focus-recompose_sucks.htm

Whenever I've used AI Servo for portraits, they usually don't come out nearly as well as when I use One Shot.

PhotosGuy wrote in post #9595083
"Normally" I don't use a tripod for one-person shots, so if there's a chance that I can move, or she can move even a tiny bit, I use it. And then theres this:
http://www.visual-vacations.com …focus-recompose_sucks.htm

You've got me thinking....for very wide f-stops this could be a help. I try to use my 70-200/2.8 for portraits when room permits. At f2.8 it gives a wonderful bokeh but focus is tough. As you say, the slightest movement will mess it up....so I'll try AI Servo (my normal soccer setting) on portraits the next time out.

And yes, definitely select the AF point closest to the eyes to minimize recomposing issues.

I forgot about this thread, as it wasnt active for a while, and I was impatient looking for help and put up a duplicate in People.

I actually change from AI Servo to One Shot and got some better results. And after doing a micro adjustment on the lens, Im now seeing clearer eyes. I am still seeing 1 eye on 1 eye off due to 2.8. Im getting the exposure I wanted now. And from the help of people here, realized I get much better skin tones switching the WB to shade.