Second attempt, added a fill light this round

This time I added an additional light in a fill light position. Not sure on the whole ratio thing yet but tried to get a 2:1 between key and fill - though looks maybe a little flat

my setup consisted of a 600RX/14x35" stripbox camera left, 600RX/29x29" softbox camera right, 300RX/8" reflector with 20 degree grid as a hair light and a 580EX to light up the background a bit (not sure if im ready for another monolight yet, and the 580 does ok for now)

Based on some feedback last time of over softening I tried to pull back some. The original looks a little better (click image) but still too soft you think?

not sure I like the background, just some cheap fabric I picked up locally to try out some new things.

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Holy cow. The problem here is that your pictures are too sharp.

Perhaps some exfoliating could help...

Your edit is nice. It makes here eyes pop.