The 37th Random Long TPBM Exposure Noise/Chat Thread

Permagrin wrote in post #10296559
Kona's two favorite things (aside from Dan) are his (too small) bed and his ball. This is how he spends a goodly portion of the day

Skrim17 wrote in post #10298103
Was out at Eli's playoff game, they won. Eli hit at every at bat and scored the winning run, he got a game ball and is over the moon Mama used the 135 for some then switched to the 70-200 as I couldn't get far enough away for plays at home.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #10298189
For FP, who recently inquired about my wedding contract:

Greetings!

Thank you for choosing Focus on Life Photography for your wedding. We hope that you will enjoy the photos you receive! If you don't, well, you suck, cuz, DANG, these shots will be killer. Really. But more on that later.

We have established various packages so as to give out clients as many options as possible and we have recently added an "Ala Carte" for more control over the selection.

Ultimate, Golden and Blow-Your-Mind package:

• I'll get there really early; like before you finish your first cup of coffee early. I'll start documenting everything I see. Seriously, you'll be wanting to issue me a restraining order before the day is out. But you'll get a whole bunch of shots. A whole lotta. You'll have to buy a freakin' new computer just to store all of them. And they'll be INCREDIBLE. Trust me. Your girlfriends will want to get a divorce just so they can get remarried and have me do their wedding photos.
  
• ........ $100,000 <---- please note the number of zeroes.

Theses Ain't Yo Mama's Photos Package:

• I'll get there early, but after I've had something to eat. I'll take some shots of you getting ready and stuff, but I may take off to do something else, like get the oil changed in my Jeep or shoot some pool. I'll come back in time for the pre-wedding cwap and take some standard, kitschy shots of junk that's lying around the church. I'll stick around afterwards and shoot the reception just so that you can always refer back to when your Uncle Larry got plastered and puked all over the minister. All those really cool shots that your best friend had of her wedding day? Yeah, you'll get stuff like that, but my shots will ROCK in comparison, whereas your friends shots will look like they were taken by a blind, quadriplegic Ocelot that's strung out on cheap heroin.
  
• ...... $50,000 <----- a BARGAIN! really.

I'd Rather Spend Money On Some Stupid Honeymoon Than On Some Stupid Shots I'll Never Look At Again Package:

• Just for the budget minded, we have added this package where I will show up about an hour before the wedding, take some quick snaps of you and whoever is standing around, do some random detail shots and be sure not to give off my totally irritated attitude. I'll take a few shots of the ceremony and probably stick around a little afterwards in hopes of scoring some free food. If you don't cut the cake soon, that won't be included in the gallery. For this package, time's a-tickin'.
  
• ..... $5,000 <---- worth every penny.

Blind, Quadriplegic Ocelot That's Strung Out On Cheap Heroin Package:

• Hey, we all know that tough economic times hit us all. Sometimes, though, love just cannot wait. I understand this. And to show that I'm a sensitive photographer, I have this package available for those that are struggling financially. In this package, I will still offer the high quality and artistic photographs that the other packages offer, but I will be taking those shots with my Dad's old Polaroid camera. But, Hey! Think about it! You'll be able to put your photos directly into that cheapo album you bought off of Wal*Mart's bargain table! I'll probably be there just in time for the ceremony and I'll take as many shots as I can before Dad's camera gives up the ghost. Whatever shots it does produce will be good, trust me!
  
• ...... $500 <----- suck it up, Princess. It don't get cheaper than that.

Ala Carte: (each selection is $1,000)

• 1 hour of pre-wedding shooting
  
• 1 hour of formal posing with family
  
• 15 minutes of formal posing with totally plowed family
  
• 1 minute of formal posing with incredibly ugly and equally plowed family
  
• 30 minutes of ceremony
  
• 1 hour of post wedding
  
• 1 hour of reception

Payment: We request half up front, at least one month before the ceremony, with the remainder paid in full upon our arrival on the day of the wedding. If you are unable to come up with the deposit, then the full amount, plus a 10% fee will be required on the wedding day. If you are unable to pay the remainder on the wedding day, then we are willing to discuss alternatives; as long as those alternatives include us walking away with the deposit laughing uproariously at your plight. If you are unable to pay the deposit AND the remainder, then why the heck are we having this conversation?

Once you pay the deposit, then your date is scheduled. If, for some reason, like your boyfriend gets cold feet and bolts for Mexico or you decide that the Best Man is really the Best Man and not the Groom, and the wedding is cancelled, we still keep the deposit. We will, however, like to photograph the Break-Up. We'll do that totally "Pro Bono".

Once we agree on the day of the wedding, that date is a lock. That is unless someone comes up to me and offers me more Moolah. So, let's say that your wedding is for July 3rd. You pay me the deposit of $50,000 and we lock that date. But then, out of the blue, your best friend comes up and says that SHE'S getting married on July 3rd and is willing to set down a deposit of $50,000.01. Well, you're outta luck. Unless, of course, you start the bidding war over me. Googly Moogly, I just LOVE that. ka-CHING!

Working Conditions: During the shoot, we will require a 15 minute break every two hours. If we're working longer than 6 hours, then we will require a meal. If we're working for longer than 8 hours, DANG! We want a massage, a case of beer and an all expense paid two week trip to Cancun.

Quality: We strive to create the best images in the industry. What am I saying, we DO create the best images in the industry. If you don't like the shots you receive, for whatever reason, then, well, YOU'RE FREAKIN' BLIND. You're just some money grubbing wench that's trying to rip me off. GAA! I can't stand people like you.

If you pursue "legal action", as in, you try to sue me, don't. Really. I know where you live. I'd really hate to see anything "unfortunate" happen to you so soon after getting married. You just think that over very carefully.

Shooting Policy: We are professionals in every way. As soon as we arrive at the venue, we consider ourselves at work. We understand that this is a very special day, not just for you, but for your whole family. In this digital age, everyone seems to have a camera. We understand this. We will try to be accommodating to the other family members that want to take shots during our very tight time frame. Here's something that you may want to think about: If your 85 year old grandma stands in front of my shot just so she can try to figure out her little, plastic Fisher-Price, 2 megapixel camera, I will take her out at the knees. With no guilt and no hesitation. I've done it before, and I rather enjoyed it. Just wanted to get that out in the open.

Thank you again for allowing us to be a part of your special day! We look forward to working with you to achieve the very best!

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #10299083
Parental contract:

The following is a contractual agreement between the parental units (heretofore called, "Parents") and their offspring (heretofore called, "Spawn" or whatever else I feel like calling them). This agreement, once signed, is binding yet amendable. Procedures for amending this contract will be discussed below.

Duties of the Parents:

Whatever they feel like.

Duties of the Spawn:

Whatever the Parents DON'T feel like.
Whatever the Parents deem to be "character building" for the Spawn.
Whatever the Parents deem as their entertainment for the Spawn to perform.

Expectations:

Parents: To provide the basic necessities of life. Shelter, food and clothing.
Shelter would mean: Not in the rain.
Food would mean: Whatever was made for dinner.
Clothing would mean: That which keeps you dry, modestly attired and safely shod.

Shelter would NOT mean: any car you want to stay out of the rain.
Food would NOT mean: whatever your incredible metabolism can handle
Clothing would NOT mean: clothes that are guaranteed to make you cool, or fall off your body whenever the wind speeds exceed a half a knot, or make you look like a tramp. If a Parent has a choice between shoes that cost $20 or shoes that some overpaid, felonious basketball player endorses that cost over $50, the Spawn be wearing new shoes and the Parent will be pocketing the extra $30.

The Parents will address NEEDS first, not WANTS. It will behoove the Spawn to understand the difference as soon as possible.

Spawn: Whatever. The Parent. Says. Until you pay for everything in the house, this is not negotiable.

Specific Items:

Dad: You will be expected to know everything. Once you actually start knowing everything, then everyone will suddenly not want to know it.

Mom: You will work harder, and longer, than anyone else. You will worry over everything. You will make sure every single thing is just "so". In exchange, we will set aside a Sunday morning in May where the rest of the family will attempt to make a breakfast that you will have to clean up later.

Son: You will be expected to make your Parents worry about what the heck is going on in your brain. Don't worry, this will come naturally.

Daughter: Ever see those jewels that are locked up in some well guarded tower? Beautiful, yet never to be seen or touched? Protected jealously? Yeah, that's you. Get used to it.

Environment: It is everyone's job to turn up the heat. It is the Dad's job to turn it back down and pass out sweaters to the Heat Leeches in the house.

Punishment: The phrase, "I brought you into this world, I will take you out" was never meant to be funny.

Amendment Policy: This contract may be amended whenever one or both of the Parents feel like it. It's just that easy. Conversely, the Spawn will recite this contract every Saturday evening without fail.

Skrim17 wrote in post #10299125
The potential winning run at first...

short5 wrote in post #10299873
*flares to draw moth from Turtle*

short5 wrote in post #10299996
Where is Kit?

short5 wrote in post #10300107
Well it is after midnight here, and they are whining in the box so

*turns big lights on, Pops box open releasing Areosmith and Pink(I got a deal) to sing Happy Birthday to Dragon while I launch poiple fireworks spelling her name in the sky*

Happy Birthday Terri!!!

misspix wrote in post #10300122
*swoons @ Stevie*

short5 wrote in post #10300184
Sorry Lois, she is amok.

Pea, he is on the couch, head that way.

neil_r wrote in post #10300698
Happy Birthday Terri, and I just want you to know that not everyone over here agrees with what St George did.

Harm wrote in post #10301768
Blah blah, facebook, blah - you cannot keep everyone happy or appease everyone in life. Unfortunately, that is just life for you. Words can hurt and all that fun stuff, but you cannot let that run your life for you. If you enjoy the warmth, joys and laughter in this thread, then you really belong in this thread. Some people can be offended one day, and laugh the next (remember we all have some mental issues - that is why we frequent this thread on a daily basis!). As for keeping guard over what you say and type, hogwash to that. Just say things as you mean it (you know how you mean those to be), and don't be so politically correct - otherwise we'll all turn out to be really boring people, and you wouldn't want that, would you?

So sit back, rest your feet up on one of your seniors, drink a sangria and stick around

cfpackerfan wrote in post #10301883
That was well said, JJ.

cfpackerfan wrote in post #10301939
Edited.

Harm wrote in post #10301953
Red Beatles symbol, and green pickles...."look the same"...

I am booking you in for a drugs test and an eye examination!

cfpackerfan wrote in post #10301962
Yeah well... I'm caffeine free still this morning. Give me an hour or so.

gjl711 wrote in post #10301612
Any Cokin filter users out there? I just pressed send on their GND set along with the .9ND as well. A bit leery about the filters but the price is just too good to pass up.

Guineh wrote in post #10301736
^^ That!

What's permie doing at your office?

short5 wrote in post #10298849
*strolls through tent flap* Yo

Thanks Jenn As a follow up, I was assaulted by a road rager, maced him, waved down a cop, and he arrested me because mace was illegal in D.C back then. I think that is still on my record

Woolburr wrote in post #10299071
Coolness...the dang life preservers do have a certain dork factor to them when sitting in an office 500 miles from the nearest ocean.

short5 wrote in post #10299080
A guy on the flight back from Oregon wore one, an old one. We went over mountains.

puddlepirate44 wrote in post #10299083
Parental contract:

The following is a contractual agreement between the parental units (heretofore called, "Parents") and their offspring (heretofore called, "Spawn" or whatever else I feel like calling them). This agreement, once signed, is binding yet amendable. Procedures for amending this contract will be discussed below.

Duties of the Parents:

Whatever they feel like.

Duties of the Spawn:

Whatever the Parents DON'T feel like.
Whatever the Parents deem to be "character building" for the Spawn.
Whatever the Parents deem as their entertainment for the Spawn to perform.

Expectations:

Parents: To provide the basic necessities of life. Shelter, food and clothing.
Shelter would mean: Not in the rain.
Food would mean: Whatever was made for dinner.
Clothing would mean: That which keeps you dry, modestly attired and safely shod.

Shelter would NOT mean: any car you want to stay out of the rain.
Food would NOT mean: whatever your incredible metabolism can handle
Clothing would NOT mean: clothes that are guaranteed to make you cool, or fall off your body whenever the wind speeds exceed a half a knot, or make you look like a tramp. If a Parent has a choice between shoes that cost $20 or shoes that some overpaid, felonious basketball player endorses that cost over $50, the Spawn be wearing new shoes and the Parent will be pocketing the extra $30.

The Parents will address NEEDS first, not WANTS. It will behoove the Spawn to understand the difference as soon as possible.

Spawn: Whatever. The Parent. Says. Until you pay for everything in the house, this is not negotiable.

Specific Items:

Dad: You will be expected to know everything. Once you actually start knowing everything, then everyone will suddenly not want to know it.

Mom: You will work harder, and longer, than anyone else. You will worry over everything. You will make sure every single thing is just "so". In exchange, we will set aside a Sunday morning in May where the rest of the family will attempt to make a breakfast that you will have to clean up later.

Son: You will be expected to make your Parents worry about what the heck is going on in your brain. Don't worry, this will come naturally.

Daughter: Ever see those jewels that are locked up in some well guarded tower? Beautiful, yet never to be seen or touched? Protected jealously? Yeah, that's you. Get used to it.

Environment: It is everyone's job to turn up the heat. It is the Dad's job to turn it back down and pass out sweaters to the Heat Leeches in the house.

Punishment: The phrase, "I brought you into this world, I will take you out" was never meant to be funny.

Amendment Policy: This contract may be amended whenever one or both of the Parents feel like it. It's just that easy. Conversely, the Spawn will recite this contract every Saturday evening without fail.

Skrim17 wrote in post #10299136
heading home


looked too good running in that pic, this is his usual dorky run/skip


and his attempt at sliding...

wu_wei0 wrote in post #10299252
I'm a five o'clocker, too; but, it's nice getting off at 4:30 and having a 3 day weekend every other week.

Woolburr wrote in post #10299448
I used to have to suffer with this. Couldn't get the parents to go any splashier. Then they decided to get out of boating and build a cabin on a pond....now this is the only yacht in sight.

short5 wrote in post #10299627
I will share my cherries with everyone but don't get that "popcorn" powder on them.

CrazieCricket wrote in post #10299912
ut oh. I feel like dancing. I haven't been to a smokey bar and danced in 10 yrs. I gots the urge. *DANCIN'* oh I'm *DANCIN'* *shakes shell booty*

short5 wrote in post #10299944
Hottest shell shaking I have seen in a long time Well there was a crab I met in another comic but that is a long story.

misspix wrote in post #10299958
Here, Pea THIS is a good one!

Woolburr wrote in post #10300201
*This is what happens when alcohol, flames and amoking get mixed!*

short5 wrote in post #10300325
I know! WTH? It really seems that way. Then there is the dropping of sticks and toys on it

cfpackerfan wrote in post #10301964
Our newest foster. She's been here a few days.
http://www.youtube.com …s=_Mx4BExMlVM&f​eature=sub

cfpackerfan wrote in post #10301964
Our newest foster. She's been here a few days.
http://www.youtube.com …s=_Mx4BExMlVM&f​eature=sub

Guineh wrote in post #10302212
Now this is rude:

http://feedproxy.googl​e.com/~r/NotAlwaysRigh​t/~3/gB8IEt4BzgU/5689

Skrim17 wrote in post #10302316
you need a Vanilli