My wife is killing me...

I'm sure many of you can relate to this (women too, we husbands can be just as bad). Because I was a news/feature shooter for our (very) small town newspaper for several years, I am frequently asked by friends & family to shoot other subjects. I've given in against my better instincts a few times, with one exception: I won't shoot weddings. My standard response goes something like this- "Find the best, most expensive wedding pro in your area, double his/her fee, and I still wouldn't do it for that." I seriously believe that with the possible exception of combat photographers, pro wedding shooters have the toughest job in the business. Which brings me to the point of my impending doom...
My wife's favorite neice is getting married this fall and you guessed it- they don't have the $ to hire a good (or any) wedding pro. The couple asked me at a graduation party last weekend if I would be willing to take their wedding pictures. I gave them my patented answer, and suggested that they ask family members for a contribution towards a photographer in lieu of other wedding gifts. I would rather pitch in a couple of C-notes to make sure they got nice photos of the day than spend it at Bed,Bath & Beyond. Cut to the finale- wife tells them I will do it as our gift to them.
I have cautioned them that just because they like a lot of the old press photos, candids, and vacation pics I've shot, it doesn't mean that I'm in anyway qualified to shoot their wedding, but they insist that they will be happy with whatever I can do for them.
I am fortunate enough that last year my wife (yep, the same one) bought me my first DSLR, a 50D with an 18-200 IS lens as a birthday gift. I had pretty much stopped shooting with any of my 3 film SLR's, but was happy with my G6 for most of the casual shooting that is all I do now. I quickly added the battery grip and a 430 EX II and have been very happy with it. It is a bonus that I have several EF lenses from my film days to suppliment the handy 18-200. My issue now is thus- I don't have any PP skills. Aside from cropping, red-eye reduction, and B/W conversion, I don't do anything. I shoot virtualy everything using P-shift. A throwback to my press days, I was nearly certain to catch at least one useable shot at the default settings, and I could always shift on the fly quickly after that to get the desired DOF. I shoot more AV & TV now than I did back then, but I'm still pretty comfortable with P. I'm borrowing a friends 40D and flash as a back-up (he just laughed when I offered to pay him to take my place), and I'm going to try to relax about the whole thing, as I know from experience that when the shooter is off, the pictures are too, but I was hoping for a quick favor from the pros out there:
It will be a very small, outdoor (family farm) wedding and a casual, indoor reception at a local community hall (all they can afford- won't let their families pay). A maid of honor and best man, no bridesmaids or groomsmen. If you can give me one tip that will help me give them a better set of photos, what would it be. Thanks in advance to all of you who read this and reply. You guys/gals really are the most under-apreciated artists in the buisness.

Make your wedding gift the gift of another photographer, and since it was your wife's idea have her pay half the bill.

Hide the flaws, rent better (faster) lenses.

Plan, plan and plan. Then check the plan.

Know exactly what the timings of the day are going to be by talking to the couple, so you know where you should be, when and what you are going to be shooting. Start each phase by taking a couple of minutes to relax, check your gear and settings and to clear your head. Then grab some 'safe' shots (it doesn't matter which mode you camera is in as long as you get something reasonable). Then, knowing you've got something in the bag, you can move away from your comfort zone and perhaps be a little more creative.

You'll probably surprise yourself by relaxing into it. Hell, you may even enjoy some of it!

SHOOT IN RAW

Bring a second shooter! Seriously, it's good backup, and many aspiring photogs are willing to do it for free in exchange for the right to use the shots in their portfolios.

Since your wife volunteered you and you don't have the equipment, it sounds like you have her approval for all necessary gear upgrades. Do you have any fast lenses?

OregonRebel wrote in post #10247195
Since your wife volunteered you and you don't have the equipment, it sounds like you have her approval for all necessary gear upgrades. Do you have any fast lenses?

I see some L zoom lenses and some nice fast primes in your future

OregonRebel wrote in post #10247195
Since your wife volunteered you and you don't have the equipment, it sounds like you have her approval for all necessary gear upgrades. Do you have any fast lenses?

Good idea! This is a great opportunity, definitely a win-win !
Send your wife over to POTN, so we can all vouch for the necessity of at least a 70-200 2.8.

Sven-EOS wrote in post #10249055
Good idea! This is a great opportunity, definitely a win-win !
Send your wife over to POTN, so we can all vouch for the necessity of at least a 70-200 2.8.

I'll vouch for 200 F2 ^^ I mean come on ... poor guy, not only is he married but now she's using him

CafeRacer wrote in post #10243866
My wife's favorite niece is getting married this fall and you guessed it- they don't have the $ to hire a good (or any) wedding pro. - wife tells them I will do it as our gift to them.
I have cautioned them that just because they like a lot of the old press photos, candids, and vacation pics I've shot, it doesn't mean that I'm in anyway qualified to shoot their wedding, but they insist that they will be happy with whatever I can do for them.
My issue now is thus- I don't have any PP skills. Aside from cropping, red-eye reduction, and B/W conversion, I don't do anything. I shoot more AV & TV now than I did back then, but I'm still pretty comfortable with P.
It will be a very small, outdoor (family farm) wedding and a casual, indoor reception at a local community hall (all they can afford- won't let their families pay). A maid of honor and best man, no bridesmaids or groomsmen. If you can give me one tip that will help me give them a better set of photos, what would it be.

Oh my. Your spouse really did it this time.
This is exactly how my spouse was roped into the obligatory wedding shoots- camera=wedding photographer. Family dumped a guilt trip on the spouse that keeps on giving for the other offspring.

First off, find a free 2nd shooter as the others have said. Someone who wants the portfolio practice. You cannot be everywhere and that relieves the pressure on you.

Next, your lovely wife is now your assistant. She tracks all time, food, lodging, fuel and costs you rack up. Why? Keeps her aware of what the gift she volunteered you for is *really* worth.

*You don't mention if you'll be giving them a cd/dvd with images, a printed album, or just selected prints. You need to make clear to them what they get and roughly when. How will you get the images to them?
One of the weddings my spouse did, couple believed they would be handed every photo from the digital camera post reception; already had a card reader and computer ready. Shooting RAW discouraged that argument. Another happy couple mistakenly believed they'd have the photos the day after the return from the honeymoon.

*Visit the farm location and the hall at same time of day as the wedding and reception for practice shooting. Wife can wear similar white and dark clothing as the niece and fiancé. You'll need to calculate the sun's angle etc. Shoot photos in RAW. Think about areas to pose the assorted folks or line them up. People get crabby after posing for any length of time.
Go through the various shot lists posted here in the past and create a list for you to try for. Use those RAW photos of your wife to practice pping.
As an example, RAW can save you in high noon light with pure white gown and military dress blues outdoors in summer next to a swimming pool.
You want instinct with camera and pping long before the ceremony.

*You need to get times and such for when cake will appear at reception, when decorating will be done, when house will be ready for ceremony, arrival time of wedding party, what happens in case of bad weather, and so on. Do not be put off by niece.
Will they have a rehearsal? If they do, bride & groom, maid, best man, any ushers, the officiant, and all parents need to be there on time for the rehearsal. Seems obvious, but you'd be amazed.
Rehearsal means you can see where everyone will be and how they will move around. More practice for you.

*Day of, you and wife will need to be at the farm as early as possible, dressed for the day. She is your assistant. She volunteered you, so she can share in herding and schlepping and the work rather than fun. Think blend in and comfort. Feet, hands and back will ache or throb.
Shoot raw in Av or Tv rather than P.
Outdoors, you want to slightly underexpose rather than over.
Depending on the time of day, you might need flash to prevent raccoon eyed guests and couple.
Depending on reception lighting, you may be forced to use the flash. Bouncing flash may not be an option.
Smile, and the people will relax a bit.
You'll want photos of the rings, flowers, shoes, decorations, favors.

PPing begins around the day job and takes as long as it takes.
She can work on your favorite foods and the chores you are now exempt from doing until the pping is complete. As a spouse, it is a fair trade and about what I do here.

Good luck with refusing future weddings. "But you did _namehere_'s wedding!?" will become a common refrain. May you have fewer extended family than my spouse!

As a spouse, it's quite different appearing on a wedding day as a guest vs appearing the day before and hanging around until long after the wedding as the photog's spouse. I am always the first guest at the wedding. I can't leave as guests thin out at the reception. If/when the weddings are late in the day, we spend an extra night afterwards, because we are too exhausted to make that trek home.

I made a deal the year I married to never volunteer my spouse for anything. Spouse made same deal with me. That deal has prevented so much mayhem. After this wedding, I suspect your wife will make a similar deal.

A big thank you for all of the wonderful advise. I'm familier with the wedding location, but will definately scout the reception site. I do have a few fast primes, but no constant apature zooms. Since I'm determined that this will be the one and only time I do this, I'm not sure I would ever get my (or her's) money worth out of a new L lens.
The perfect solution seems to be what many of you have so cleverly suggested: make my darling wife my assistant! After a full day of being my shadow/gofer/whatever, I'll bet she won't be volunteering OUR services again any time soon.
I've got several months until the wedding so I guess I'll be working on my non-existant PP skills until then.
Thanks again!

Hey there, good luck to you, it can be rough. Some of the most difficult weddings I have photographed have been for family and friends. For what ever reason they feel you should be a part of the festivities and partake in the partying. They also feel comfortable with you to the point they are not likely going to listen when you say its time to pose for a shot or two. There is also that underlying feeling that if they are not happy with the work will that affect your relationship. Would there always be an uncomfortable silence? Always scarier then a typical client. They often argue that if you don't shoot it they will not hire a pro because they don't have the money. Many of my clients have that very issue, I take payments sometimes years before the event. Wedding photography is expensive, but like they say, after the cake... you guys know the rest.
Highly recommend contacting local wedding pros in your area and offer your services as an assistant. Leave your camera at home and learn the ropes. Read a ton, upgrade your equipment even if you only rent a few lenses and ask a grip of questions.

CafeRacer, where is the wedding? +1 on a second shooter. If you are near, I know three photographers looking for portfolio work.

you can always rent a nice L series for a week, spend a few days practicing ahead of time with it. you might also be able to farm out the PP to someone.

Once again, thanks to all for the advice and words of wisdom...

The wedding is in rural central IL. I'm not sure how much of a "boost" to anyone's portfolio this job will present. The wedding party consists of 4 people and the guest list is less than 100. I think there will be an opportunity for some nice shots at the farm. They have an old barn and rustic corn crib on the property, as well as 3 horses, so I plan to shoot a lot with these elements. The reception venue is as bland as a cracker box, but hopefully they will be able to decorate it with enough personality to make it interesting. I'm thinking of posting a notice with the local community college. I know they offer a few photography courses in the arts department, and there might be a student (or two) interested in wedding/portrait photography that would be eager to act as a second shooter as way to get some real-world practice in a relatively stress-free environment since they're not faced with the prospect of disapointing a paying client.
Good ideas, all! Thank you again for all of the tips/advice- keep 'em coming!