Heavier brides .. your responsibility?

If you've been made aware of a very overweight brides desire to look slimmer in her photos just how much responsibility do you accept for how she looks in the photos?

And say you've used the standard slimming poses and they only go so far, how do you diplomatically tell her that only so much can be done in camera?

There's no way to say it really nicely. Fat people will look fat. Shoot from above and use Jamie's tips, and tell her your retoucher can do great things for $100/hr.

All you can do is do your best to make each and every bride look as lovely as you can. Posing, lighting, gentle treatment all can help people look their best.

I've not met a woman yet who believes that miracles will happen and she'll go from 200lbs to 100lbs in her photos. But attention to details, smooth lines, & shadows etc is essential as part of our job.

what happened to: "the camera adds 10 lbs"


J.

It's your responsibility to make her look her best no matter the concern; weight, a large nose, an unfortunate tattoo, etc. And there are ways to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative for almost every situation. You're not going to make her look like a runway model, but do searches (it's been discussed here repeatedly) and learn the approaches that will position you to do the best job you can for her. At the same time, try to manage her expectations; your going to photograph her from flattering angles, you're not chopping 30 real lbs off of her.

jurgenph wrote in post #10415360
what happened to: "the camera adds 10 lbs"


J.

From friends the tv show:

And how many cameras are on you?

tim wrote in post #10415331
There's no way to say it really nicely. Fat people will look fat. Shoot from above and use Jamie's tips, and tell her your retoucher can do great things for $100/hr.

I'm thinking the retoucher may be getting some new work soon

kja wrote in post #10415342
All you can do is do your best to make each and every bride look as lovely as you can. Posing, lighting, gentle treatment all can help people look their best.

I've not met a woman yet who believes that miracles will happen and she'll go from 200lbs to 100lbs in her photos. But attention to details, smooth lines, & shadows etc is essential as part of our job.

I've shot heavier people before and whetever posing, etc. I've used to slim them they have all been happy with .. but I have one now who apparently does not own a mirror or scale. There is a total disconnect between how she think she looks and how she really does look.

mmahoney wrote in post #10417513
There is a total disconnect between how she think she looks and how she really does look.

I don't know if this thread is just a rant or you actually need help with the proper dialog to have with this bride?

How were you "made aware" that the bride thinks she looks fat in her photos? Did she grumble to somebody else and you just got wind of it or was this a direct statement made by her?

Sometimes, a wide-angle lens will indeed make people look weird depending on the barrel distortion and we should always be wary of that.

Recently, using the liquify filter in photoshop I hacked off some arm flab in a bride. It was my fault for putting her in this position and making it so pronounced so I felt obligated to do this. Other than that, she's just heavy and looks that way.

You're a photographer... not a plastic surgeon. (Where is that video at? )

RT McAllister wrote in post #10418288
I don't know if this thread is just a rant or you actually need help with the proper dialog to have with this bride?

How were you "made aware" that the bride thinks she looks fat in her photos? Did she grumble to somebody else and you just got wind of it or was this a direct statement made by her?

Sometimes, a wide-angle lens will indeed make people look weird depending on the barrel distortion and we should always be wary of that.

Recently, using the liquify filter in photoshop I hacked off some arm flab in a bride. It was my fault for putting her in this position and making it so pronounced so I felt obligated to do this. Other than that, she's just heavy and looks that way.

You're a photographer... not a plastic surgeon. (Where is that video at? )

RT emphasizes a very important point here. It's very easy to fall into the WA trap for group shots, close in shots, small rooms - you have to be very careful.

This is not a hard and fast rule - angles and distance are certainly contributing factors - but on a FF camera even a 50mm FL can add a little more weight to the average person. And as soon as you get into WA FL's, you have to be very careful how the folks are angled, and the direction in which you are shooting (ie - not "up"). Longer FL's will tend to compress perspective (and people) a bit, but those may not be practical.

Like RT, I'm also curious how you were "made aware" of the size issue. Either way, if you have not done so already it would be a good idea to have a pleasant, neutral informational chat with the bride about the EXTENT of her expectations.....befor​e the wedding.

Actually - here's a thought: Are you planning any sort of E-shoot session? This would be a good way to get instant feedback on your technique in representing her, BEFORE the main event. And if she's a reasonable person, she may even give you some helpful tips and comments. Even if you include this for free, it may be time well invested to avoid potential headaches later on. - Stu

Good posing, good lighting, good angles, and realistic expectations.

Sounds like you're missing at least one.

If it were me, I'd use extremely dramatic shadowing. Nothing hides size better than not seeing half of it because it's hidden in shadow. If she has unrealistic expectations then I'd just go with that extreme solution. Everything would be very dark though. But oh well.

Ignoring the size-ist comments...

Based on my experience as a woman who has been many ranges of the weight scale - here are my thoughts.

You'll likely find several kinds of brides. (Note I don't say heavier, it applies to anyone of any size!) Those who accept (and/or love) how they look, those who don't fully accept it but expect to look the way they will, and those who have a major disconnect between how they "feel" they look and how they actually look. You could have a size 2 bride who will freak out over looking heavier.

I'm sure you understand that there are flattering poses and unflattering poses. As long as you are aware of that and stick to flattering poses and making the bride look her possible best, you meet or exceed any of your responsibility, in my opinion.

Now, that may not be enough to make the third group I mentioned happy. Rather than bashing this group of people (who may not even be fat), be gentle with them, for they are really their own worst enemy and it's a hard battle they fight. Try to focus on the emotions of the day and compliment them often, SINCERELY!!!! Don't make it sound like you are acting any different with them than any other bride. Tell them to relax, that you will worry about the details and posing, to help them be less self conscious, and if they are anxious then work on photos where the couple faces each other, not you for a bit.

And try to remember that beauty doesn't have to mean thin, it comes in all sizes. You can say a woman is beautiful even if you can't call her thin. If YOU (general you, not OP) can't see the beauty in her on her wedding day, you shouldn't be photographing weddings, stick to fashion models.

Thanks for the technique tips but this was not my first ride at the overweight rodeo.
I didn't broad light her with a fisheye 6 inches from her face

I had hoped to get some discussion about how much responsibility as a photographer we should assume for how an overweight bride looks AFTER we've slimmed her as much as possible in-camera. So when a 250+ lb 5' 3" person says "These pictures make me look fat" just what DO you say?

Generally my efforts are very well received but in this case there is a serious disconnect between her actual look and her perceived look .. so how do we diplomatically break the news to her that regardless of what is done in-camera 100 lbs can't be magically shaved off?

mmahoney wrote in post #10419225
So when a 250+ lb 5' 3" person says "These pictures make me look fat" just what DO you say?

My reply? "Uh... no, I think you look stunning." (This statement would be the truth as I think all brides are gorgeous). I would even encourage this bride to take a few samples and post them on her facebook page. She will be pleasantly surprised at the feedback.

After this, I'd explain the process one would need to go through to retouch 200 photos and the inherent problems this causes (not to mention the cost).

You know she's heavy, everyone else knows she's heavy and trust me, she knows she's heavy as well.

There is no "diplomatic" way to deny somebody something they want.

If this fails you could always blame the dress maker.

mmahoney wrote in post #10419225
Thanks for the technique tips but this was not my first ride at the overweight rodeo.
I didn't broad light her with a fisheye 6 inches from her face

I had hoped to get some discussion about how much responsibility as a photographer we should assume for how an overweight bride looks AFTER we've slimmed her as much as possible in-camera. So when a 250+ lb 5' 3" person says "These pictures make me look fat" just what DO you say?

Generally my efforts are very well received but in this case there is a serious disconnect between her actual look and her perceived look .. so how do we diplomatically break the news to her that regardless of what is done in-camera 100 lbs can't be magically shaved off?

Mike, your responsibility is simply to do the best you can, positively reinforce her, and facilitate things throughout the day. The photographer, because of his/her unique position can really be in a role to help during a potentially stressful event. I would not worry about any "legal" responsibility (my word, not yours) as you can only do the best you can with what you have.

But DO be a bit more sensitive. Comments like "this was not my first ride at the overweight rodeo" don't show an empathy, and hopefully don't come across in your discussions with potential clients...... many of who read these forums.

Now that is much more clear.

Definitely pick a few photos of her and specifically tell her something like "wow, really you think that? I just looked again at your photos and #156 is like vavavoom - you look amazing. Look at your eyes/confidence/curves​/dress ... beautiful, truly. Just like you did the whole day - you were so happy/joyful/excited! I loved being able to capture that for you"

If you think you can be sincere and supportive (it's a skill a lot of people don't actually have, whether they think they do or not), perhaps choose a specific shot and ask "what are you seeing that doesn't make you happy" - then you can address that, either by directly contradicting her concern area or by directing her attention to something you feel is a strong positive. BTW you can't fake this conversation...if you try, she'll know and any trust you had will poof.

You need to tailor your comments to her and not just some general blanket statement, part of our job is to make our couples happy and sometimes that means being a bit of a counselor and/or cheerleader, as well.

How would YOU want someone to talk to you to reassure against the same thing?