I doing a wedding....sort of...kind of...tips?

Oh no! Another wedding post! I am not asking for any photography tips, because I will just screw those up anyways. I need some business\professional courtesy tips on how to handle a weird situation. I just started a photography business about three months ago, and I have been doing well with some portraits, and I think that I am on track. However, I want to be able to do weddings, and I have one scheduled for the first of October (friend), which I thought that I would get some experience doing that one. Well, I just got word yesterday that my mother-in-law has a friend getting married, and for a few months now told her that we (my wife too) would do all pictures at the wedding beyond what the hired pro would do. Basically, we would shoot everything except the formals. The bride has never called us or touched base with us, we have just heard second hand that she wants us to do it. Well, my mother-in-law (who wants us to help them out because of her friendship with the family) told us that she would be calling, but since the wedding is less then two weeks away, I told my wife to just call her. Well, it turns out that the man doing to formal shots is the bride’s uncle and he is a professional, and he will also be shooting at the reception, but we are being told that he is fine with us being there. Great! My wife and I agreed that if there was going to be other professionals there that as a professional courtesy we wouldn’t do the wedding, but she didn’t so much hold to that. Now what? That last thing that I want is to piss off uncle “bob,” and I am worried that nobody is going to respect us as the professional photographers, and allow us to take the shots that we need. BTW, we are doing the wedding for free, so maybe we should just be called “wedding crashers.” Anyone have any thoughts on the best way to handle this? At this point, there is no way of not doing it, because my mother-and-law is so cheap that she wants to be able to build an album from our pictures and get them cheaper, and I need to pickup another flash, or bank on our two flash --1.8 & 2.8-- lenses. Thanks for the help guys, it is always nice to have someone to turn to.

Why not ask "Uncle Bob" what he thinks?

That is what I am planning to do when I get there, but I sure hope that he is not offended that I am there. I guess, if he is not hapy with me being there, I will just enjoy myself and put down my camera.

Family shoots like this are always awful. There's too many fingers in the pie and no one is happy. First I would clear it with the pro. If he is the uncle then there's a likely chance that he's in this on the cheap too, probably doesn't care if you shoot, and all is well.

But even if I was doing the wedding for free I wouldn't allow another photographer to either poach the shots over my shoulder or set up things on the other side of the room. I'm not there to teach and it's hard enough to herd the cats (that is, everyone in the wedding party) without having to wait for someone else to get their shots. I can't be responsible for the results if I don't have the ability to control things and that means time management as much as anything.

I guess if I was Uncle X I'd suggest that you do nothing but available light candids, you don't turn on a flash, and you don't set up anything. That means that the guests are hearing instructions from only me, and aren't distracted. In any case you should get some pretty good fly-on-the wall shots. And with a little bit of luck your ornery mother in law won't like 'em.

When I shoot weddings, I don't want there to be anyone else distracting "my people" from what I am doing. It's hard enough doing formals and having people/guests standing over me with their point and shoots. The problem this causes is the people in my formals, say a group shot of 20 people, are looking in five different directions because of all the other cameras. But, candids I don't mind, just not during the formals.
My assistant and I went to my assistant's best friend's wedding in May. They couldn't afford us, but asked that we do take some photos during the day, when the "pro" was busy. I didn't take any photos, but I watched as my assistant did, and she did our usual stuff. The funny part was I would then see the "pro" doing what my assistant had done, holding camera over head to get dancing shots, shooting the first dance from the second floor window, table shots, etc. So, you might be able to get some shots that the pro won't or can't, which will differentiate the look of your photos from his.
And of course, talk with Uncle Bob as soon as you arrive, just to get things straight.

Natalie

Talk to the bride and the photographer directly, 2nd hand information can be wrong.

My tips can be found here.

I don't do weddings and so am only responding with some common sense, and a suggestion (wedding pro's excuse my gatecrashing):

1. The COMMISSIONED PHOTOGRAPHER has v. important job to do. Keep out of his way (don't seek or give advise to/from him; don't distract his models etc).

2. The GUESTS only need direction from 'one voice', so don't try to marshall people around when the other guy is doing the same.

3. The BRIDE & GROOM don't need another distraction. We guess they'd like another person around getting more high quality shots. But do they? Speak to them directly.

I suggest you go for candid reportage style shots, perhaps using fill-in flash. Try to get a completely different set of shots from the commissioned guy. Some ideas:

Scenic shots of the venues - buildings, gardens? Can you go beforehand to catch it when the light's best?
Detail shots - candles; flowers; piles of presents; ribbons on rolls royce emblem; menu cards etc; rings on fingers; buffet food?
Long lens close ups of guests interacting?
Slow sync flash shots of people dancing?
Non-posed shots of Bridge & Groom
Behind the scenes shots - flower arranging; chauffuer reading paper waiting etc?
When everyone else is shooting at the bridge & groom - get a shot of all the cameras.

Keep out of the way, be creative, take risks with different techniques, have fun - after all you don't have a brief or a deadline!

Thanks for the great help guys. I love the points that were made and you have given me a different look at this. And Dave, maybe you are right, and my mother-in-law won't like them anyway. I need to just have fun and relax. Thanks everyone!